Everything about this piece holds all parts of the cycle Nadia, and it is spectacular to behold. Your closing lines, dear lord, so beautiful. Wishing you much peace and grace during your loss, and that you’ll be surrounded by loving embraces when craved, and quiet when needed ❤️
My brother and I were co-exrcutors of our mother's will. When we were headed to the courthouse to file the will with the Probate Court, my brother said, "Apparently the final stage of grief is a series of tedious business transactions." After dealing with telling the various entities that mom, indeed was dead, sometimes repeatedly, I told people that I felt like a combination of Star Trek's Dr. McCoy ("she's dead, Jim"), Chevy Chase on SNL ("like Generalissimo Francsisco Franco, my mother is still dead"), and John Cleese in the Parrot Shop sketch.
Too funny! My family has experienced the same thing. My Mom died a little more than a year after my Dad died and it took more than a year to settle our parents’ rather straightforward estate. I still miss them.
I love the idea of stickers indicating baby holding.sharing preferences - opportunities to share in a circle of life moment- Id love to hold a newborn today! My mother died 8 months ago after a 13-year period of caring for her from a distance; my husband was admitted to hospice the next week and died two months ago. The weight of the papers and processes that document their death are sometimes crushing - just like the cumulative weight of grief. Although I retired from work 5 years ago, I’m now truly without a job for the first time in my life. Finding a rhythm in this new season requires so much patience and grace. An extrovert who is always action biased, I’m finding that I need to slow down, be still, find ways to give myself time to finally rest and restore. It’s still surreal. As I slow down I’ve found so many ways God is speaking to and encouraging me. This journey isn’t for the faint of heart.
I'm sorry to hear of your recent losses. I too lost my husband 2 months ago after a two year battle with cancer. It is a time of so many emotions and finding the new rhythm of life and recovery and well, everything you said! It would be so much harder without the support of friends and God being there coaching me along this new road. His love doesn't change!
Prayers for everyone going through the season of grief and recovery.
Experiencing our own grief—in the moment—seems an eternity of excruciating pain. When I witness someone else grieving, I struggle with my own memories of grief searching for words to express my sympathy. In that struggle somehow I discover I share a bond with the one grieving: we are parts of the whole, that continent of life with all its peaks and valleys. Dear Nadia, as one who has lost their parents, allow me to assure you that although physically absent, they will always be present in your life.
Ken Burns was on Anderson Cooper's podcast, "All There Is" which is about grief. In the course of the conversation, Burns said, "The half-life of grief is endless." Grief can fade, but it doesn't leave. There is no easy path through the rawness and immediacy of grief. Would that it existed. It's one heavy step in front of the other until the moment is reached when you realize you've turned the corner. The trick is the grace of allowing the time to get there. It will always be a deeply personal walk.
My deepest sympathies to you. It's been 11+years since my father died, yet when I read your words "he was my person" I am choked with tears like it was just recent. How I miss his steady love.
Nadia, your writing speaks to us all - especially how common life events like pregnancy and death feel alien when it happens to us! I remember that exact feeling! Holding you in grace, tenderness and peace, dear Nadia 🙏🏼
I lost both my parents in the same year, the year I turned 59. My dad died two days before Thanksgiving, in the middle of my remote parent-teacher conferences (early on in resumption of fully in-person teaching). My mom died two months and one day later, on the first day of finals.
The things I remember most about that time are the reactions of my students. One student came in after my father's death and grabbed me in a big hug (which would have been great had he not been getting "baked" during lunch!) A pair of girls came in after my mom's passing (I only took the half day and the next day off, and was back for the beginning of 2nd semester) and asked me where I'd been. They wouldn't take the "polite" answer of "family issues" and kept pressing. When I finally told them my mom had died, they looked at me and said, "And you're HERE?!" Hard to explain to high school students that life -- and work -- go on regardless.
My brother passed two years, one month, and two days after my mom, after a five-year battle with cancer. I took more time off that time.
My condolences. Life changes after you lose your parents.
What a beautiful meditation on the vagaries of life and death. And that office is such a humble place for the recording of such life-changing upheavals.
Everything about this piece holds all parts of the cycle Nadia, and it is spectacular to behold. Your closing lines, dear lord, so beautiful. Wishing you much peace and grace during your loss, and that you’ll be surrounded by loving embraces when craved, and quiet when needed ❤️
My brother and I were co-exrcutors of our mother's will. When we were headed to the courthouse to file the will with the Probate Court, my brother said, "Apparently the final stage of grief is a series of tedious business transactions." After dealing with telling the various entities that mom, indeed was dead, sometimes repeatedly, I told people that I felt like a combination of Star Trek's Dr. McCoy ("she's dead, Jim"), Chevy Chase on SNL ("like Generalissimo Francsisco Franco, my mother is still dead"), and John Cleese in the Parrot Shop sketch.
100%
Too funny! My family has experienced the same thing. My Mom died a little more than a year after my Dad died and it took more than a year to settle our parents’ rather straightforward estate. I still miss them.
I love the idea of stickers indicating baby holding.sharing preferences - opportunities to share in a circle of life moment- Id love to hold a newborn today! My mother died 8 months ago after a 13-year period of caring for her from a distance; my husband was admitted to hospice the next week and died two months ago. The weight of the papers and processes that document their death are sometimes crushing - just like the cumulative weight of grief. Although I retired from work 5 years ago, I’m now truly without a job for the first time in my life. Finding a rhythm in this new season requires so much patience and grace. An extrovert who is always action biased, I’m finding that I need to slow down, be still, find ways to give myself time to finally rest and restore. It’s still surreal. As I slow down I’ve found so many ways God is speaking to and encouraging me. This journey isn’t for the faint of heart.
I'm sorry to hear of your recent losses. I too lost my husband 2 months ago after a two year battle with cancer. It is a time of so many emotions and finding the new rhythm of life and recovery and well, everything you said! It would be so much harder without the support of friends and God being there coaching me along this new road. His love doesn't change!
Prayers for everyone going through the season of grief and recovery.
Experiencing our own grief—in the moment—seems an eternity of excruciating pain. When I witness someone else grieving, I struggle with my own memories of grief searching for words to express my sympathy. In that struggle somehow I discover I share a bond with the one grieving: we are parts of the whole, that continent of life with all its peaks and valleys. Dear Nadia, as one who has lost their parents, allow me to assure you that although physically absent, they will always be present in your life.
We're holding you in your grief. This writing is so profoundly good. So very moving and so very good.
You said you wanted to be a 'proper' writer. You are a proper writer! You certainly know how to excavate and tell the human soul.
Go gently.
Ken Burns was on Anderson Cooper's podcast, "All There Is" which is about grief. In the course of the conversation, Burns said, "The half-life of grief is endless." Grief can fade, but it doesn't leave. There is no easy path through the rawness and immediacy of grief. Would that it existed. It's one heavy step in front of the other until the moment is reached when you realize you've turned the corner. The trick is the grace of allowing the time to get there. It will always be a deeply personal walk.
Saturating grief and surpassing beauty.
Thank you Nadia. You lift us all up.
It has been 2 years, 3 months, and 11 days since my father died. He was my person, I felt this essay in every cell of my body. Sending you love. ❤️
My deepest sympathies to you. It's been 11+years since my father died, yet when I read your words "he was my person" I am choked with tears like it was just recent. How I miss his steady love.
I offer you my condolences as well. “Steady” is a good word for my Dad as well.
@Nadia Bolz-Weber
Sending prayers 🙏
Nadia, your writing speaks to us all - especially how common life events like pregnancy and death feel alien when it happens to us! I remember that exact feeling! Holding you in grace, tenderness and peace, dear Nadia 🙏🏼
I lost both my parents in the same year, the year I turned 59. My dad died two days before Thanksgiving, in the middle of my remote parent-teacher conferences (early on in resumption of fully in-person teaching). My mom died two months and one day later, on the first day of finals.
The things I remember most about that time are the reactions of my students. One student came in after my father's death and grabbed me in a big hug (which would have been great had he not been getting "baked" during lunch!) A pair of girls came in after my mom's passing (I only took the half day and the next day off, and was back for the beginning of 2nd semester) and asked me where I'd been. They wouldn't take the "polite" answer of "family issues" and kept pressing. When I finally told them my mom had died, they looked at me and said, "And you're HERE?!" Hard to explain to high school students that life -- and work -- go on regardless.
My brother passed two years, one month, and two days after my mom, after a five-year battle with cancer. I took more time off that time.
My condolences. Life changes after you lose your parents.
What a beautiful meditation on the vagaries of life and death. And that office is such a humble place for the recording of such life-changing upheavals.
I love you, Nadia. I love your writing. You make us feel stuff.
GENIUS idea, an indicator system alerting people to your essential need without having to so much as speak. ❤️
dying is fine)but Death
dying is fine)but Death
?o
baby
i
wouldn't like
Death if Death
were
good:for
when(instead of stopping to think)you
begin to feel of it,dying
's miraculous
why?be
cause dying is
perfectly natural;perfectly
putting
it mildly lively(but
Death
is strictly
scientific
& artificial &
evil & legal)
we thank thee
god
almighty for dying
(forgive us,o life!the sin of Death
--e. e. cummings
Beautiful. Perfectly written. Thank you.