This post and your poem are what I needed today. I'm exhausted from years of caring for my 96-year-old dad who passed recently, and the weight of the world feels crushing. I don't have a lot of bandwidth. But today I wrote emails to the president, VP, and Attorney General. It's only a drop, but a drop is something.
A reporter once asked A.J. Muste—a social activist who, during the Vietnam War, stood outside the White House night after night—“Mr. Muste, do you really think you are going to change the policies of this country by standing out here alone at night with a candle?”
"Oh,” Muste replied, “I don't do this to change the country. I do this so the country won't change me.”
That song Nadia! Thank you....... Perfect timing as my heart and soul so weary and sad........just finished work on Lament for today.......an ongoing task....as each new piece of bummer horrific news falls.....my gardener came to the door yesterday to tell us they are too afraid to be out gardening right now as their cousin was picked up by ICE as he was doing his gardening route here in Garden Grove, Ca, an adjacent city to mine...he leaves behind a wife and three children.....my weary sad soul is also enraged......and even that rage we do not carry alone.
Thank you so much for this, Nadia. I just got off a Zoom with my wonderful NH/VT Companions of the Holy Cross, where the discussion included comments about how busy "we" all are doing social justice work. Me? I'm caring for my beloved 81-year old husband who has a new, mysterious, debilitating disease and is confined to a wheelchair. I drive him to doctor's appointments, I bring him what he needs, I help bathe him, I wipe his bottom, I haul him up out of the chair and out of bed until my back is screaming, and I look at the state of the world and grieve that I'm not doing enough. Your statement, "So maybe serving a heavy world doesn’t mean absorbing its full weight. Maybe it means setting down what isn’t ours, and lifting the one small, specific thing that is. Tending a body. Telling the truth. Making enough soup to feed yourself—and pouring a little extra into a jar to drop off for a neighbor" hit me in my heart- and that song. Oh, how I needed that song. I am a singer and song leader without a group during this time, but I'm going to find some of my old singing friends and we're going to sing this song. Thank you, thank you.
I hear you. I am also concerned that if your husband is 81, then you are close in age. And all the great and loving work you are doing results, in part, in you saying "my back is screaming." Maybe one or two of your "old singing friends" can be of help to you. I have seen, so many times, the caregiver become ill from their care giving. Forgive me if this sounds like "advice" ~ it is meant to be loving. Peace, Dwight Lee Wolter.
Thank you. I'm 15 years younger than my husband, which means I'm, as a friend puts it, "in the youth of my old age." I'm doing everything I can to stay healthy! And yes, my friends are wonderfully helpful.
I live in Minneapolis and it is so much to bear. Your post and the song were the perfect balm today. I’ve subscribed and will share. That’s my thanks for sharing your heart with me, ❤️😍🤗😘🩷
I opened my email to the story of yet another ICE execution in Minneapolis.
I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything else since.
There’s a story of a group of people my age (80s) in Williston, Vermont, who occupied an ICE facility, demanding that the landlord cancel their lease. The landlord came and threatened to have them arrested. Federal agents accused them of violating federal law and said they would be arrested. A few of them left. Among those who stayed, an 83 year old woman, along with others, refused to leave.
Local law enforcement was called. When they came and saw their aged fellow citizens (Williston population, 10,000), they said they were exercising their First Amendment rights and refused to arrest them.
Are we ready to do this? Am I?
We have a constitutional amendment (the 25th) that can remove a president who has become incompetent. The constitution can’t protect us from ourselves.
The people carrying out the deranged wishes of a deranged president, are fellow citizens. The Williston police may the first I’ve heard of, who actually dared to refuse to carry out an order they regard as illegal, under the laws they swore to uphold.
When more people begin to understand that a government dedicated to bullying, is antithetical to what we all love about being a part of the American experiment, and that more and more of us will put our lives on the line to prove that, the bullies will back down.
P.S., The thing I do to be of service is I sew kennel mats (like little, 18" x 22" quilts) that are donated to a local rescue group. They're nothing spectacular, but pets don't put a lot of importance on esthetics. 😄 I've done a dozen so far this year. We drop them off at our vet's office because one of the staff knows someone in the rescue group. I recently learned that the kennel mats I've made are just right for covering a heating pad that new baby kittens have needed to stay warm. 🐾❤️
I am a newly retired professional nurse who is 100% burned out today. It is all too much: family and friend situations, political mayhem, violence, and murder. Lies. What gave me a small pleasure was looking at a YouTube video of Jon Batiste and Suleika Jaouad touring their home, a beautiful creation full of spirit. Their love for each other is evident in their behavior and all they have created around them. It's a reminder that I can do the same. But I am so tired. Hopefully, just for today.
I attended a SMART Recovery Meeting for Family and Friends this morning because I need to reinforce my own recovery strategies for real interpersonal relationships, and from what I grew up with, how it affects me, and taking a verbal beating yesterday from a younger sister who has a significant substance misuse disorder. She has throat cancer and heart disease and is facing more surgery. All I did was reach out with some free mental health resources to help her with anxiety, possibly. She lashed out at me with such vitriol that it took my breath away. I know to expect this, but it still hurts. The meeting was new to some people who felt relieved at what they heard and learned. That was good, because it helped me feel the same.
SMART is interesting because today the moderators did a presentation on boundaries and ways to support a loved one's recovery, or not, while respecting and having compassion for yourself. We learn compassion for them, too. Next week, we can share how we put these suggestions into action and how we felt about it.
This vitriol is the kind of thing we're experiencing every day from DJT, so it feels as if I'm back in the days when I couldn't escape from my home and abuse. Realistically speaking, I have tools now that I didn't have then, but I need to remind myself of them. I joined Braver Angels to learn how to interact with people with whom I don't agree and to reduce polarization. Right now, however, it doesn't feel like a political disagreement; it feels like a moral injury.
Recognizing his personality disorders only helps to understand him, but it doesn't help us to do anything about them. If you criticize him, he'll lash out harder and call himself the victim, just like my sister. So that's why I'm taking a break from my Meta accounts and looking at what can be done in those small ways we talk about. I've been writing to my representatives in Congress about social and environmental justice, as well as the Epstein files. As Pete Buttigieg has suggested, "Don't let up on them."
I’m so glad to hear that you are going to tend to yourself after so much caring and working. As Anne Lamont says, take care of the patient. And you / us / I am that patient. No matter what voices say, you matter.
It’s been helpful for me to simply focus on the practical good I can do to those I know, much as Nadia describes. I also have reduced my news intake dramatically, to maybe 10-15 minutes per day. It’s enough to stay informed but not be overwhelmed with trauma that I literally can’t do anything about. Peace to all.
Wonderful post as always. Got me thinking...I don't do much. But I teach Sunday School and I'm trying to make sure those sweet kiddos know that when Jesus said "love God and your neighbor" and "what you have done to the least of these, you do to Me" they really understand what that means. Praying for ripples. And praying for you, Nadia.
Your words are always just what I need to hear, Nadia. But the song you shared soothed my soul and eased the tension in my shoulders. Thank you. Sending blessings to you today.
I feel like almost every day, someone asks me "how do you keep going in the face of [insert currently exhausting thing here]?" And every day, I reach into my memory banks for something Pastor Nadia once said that puts my own feet back on the path again. Today is another one of those precious gems. Blessings and gratitude.
Carrie Newcomer has a song I have been holding onto as the news gets too heavy and too much. It is very different, but it talks about where we can make a difference—like the quilters!
Thanks once again for sharing your insights. There are days when the enormity of things that *are not* under my control is the heaviest weight on my back. You'd think it would be so easy to drop that load, but some days I have to be reminded to let go.
Tetris is a perfect metaphor! Thanks for the encouragement Nadia. Helps to be reminded I'm allowed to just keep showing up in my own life in whatever small ways I can.
Yes so important we all know we are not alone. This is getting so bad. I fear a civil war. Listened to your interview with Suleika - love you both! Volunteer with PROJECT WORTHMORE- in Denver - serving refugees - will check out the org you suggested. It’s good to be together doing something good- serving helps- 🙏🏻
Advice from a Raindrop
by Kim Stafford
You think you’re too small
to make a difference? Tell me
about it. You think you’re
helpless, at the mercy of forces
beyond your control? Been there.
Think you’re doomed to disappear,
just one small voice among millions?
That’s no weakness, trust me.
That’s your wild card, your trick, your
implement. They won’t see you coming
until you’re there, in their faces, shining,
festive, expendable, eternal. Sure you’re
small, just one small part of a storm that
changes everything. That’s how you win,
my friend, again and again and again.
This post and your poem are what I needed today. I'm exhausted from years of caring for my 96-year-old dad who passed recently, and the weight of the world feels crushing. I don't have a lot of bandwidth. But today I wrote emails to the president, VP, and Attorney General. It's only a drop, but a drop is something.
God Bless You in these days Anna...
A reporter once asked A.J. Muste—a social activist who, during the Vietnam War, stood outside the White House night after night—“Mr. Muste, do you really think you are going to change the policies of this country by standing out here alone at night with a candle?”
"Oh,” Muste replied, “I don't do this to change the country. I do this so the country won't change me.”
Thank you, that resonates deeply with me, to the point of tears. I am inspired to write daily, like a candle outside the White House.
Sharing this now on FB. Thank you!
And I am sharing it as well.
That song Nadia! Thank you....... Perfect timing as my heart and soul so weary and sad........just finished work on Lament for today.......an ongoing task....as each new piece of bummer horrific news falls.....my gardener came to the door yesterday to tell us they are too afraid to be out gardening right now as their cousin was picked up by ICE as he was doing his gardening route here in Garden Grove, Ca, an adjacent city to mine...he leaves behind a wife and three children.....my weary sad soul is also enraged......and even that rage we do not carry alone.
Thank you so much for this, Nadia. I just got off a Zoom with my wonderful NH/VT Companions of the Holy Cross, where the discussion included comments about how busy "we" all are doing social justice work. Me? I'm caring for my beloved 81-year old husband who has a new, mysterious, debilitating disease and is confined to a wheelchair. I drive him to doctor's appointments, I bring him what he needs, I help bathe him, I wipe his bottom, I haul him up out of the chair and out of bed until my back is screaming, and I look at the state of the world and grieve that I'm not doing enough. Your statement, "So maybe serving a heavy world doesn’t mean absorbing its full weight. Maybe it means setting down what isn’t ours, and lifting the one small, specific thing that is. Tending a body. Telling the truth. Making enough soup to feed yourself—and pouring a little extra into a jar to drop off for a neighbor" hit me in my heart- and that song. Oh, how I needed that song. I am a singer and song leader without a group during this time, but I'm going to find some of my old singing friends and we're going to sing this song. Thank you, thank you.
I hear you. I am also concerned that if your husband is 81, then you are close in age. And all the great and loving work you are doing results, in part, in you saying "my back is screaming." Maybe one or two of your "old singing friends" can be of help to you. I have seen, so many times, the caregiver become ill from their care giving. Forgive me if this sounds like "advice" ~ it is meant to be loving. Peace, Dwight Lee Wolter.
Thank you. I'm 15 years younger than my husband, which means I'm, as a friend puts it, "in the youth of my old age." I'm doing everything I can to stay healthy! And yes, my friends are wonderfully helpful.
Great. Good to hear, Allison.
You are doing soooo much good work. Love on!
Thank you. It really helps me to see that.
I live in Minneapolis and it is so much to bear. Your post and the song were the perfect balm today. I’ve subscribed and will share. That’s my thanks for sharing your heart with me, ❤️😍🤗😘🩷
I opened my email to the story of yet another ICE execution in Minneapolis.
I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything else since.
There’s a story of a group of people my age (80s) in Williston, Vermont, who occupied an ICE facility, demanding that the landlord cancel their lease. The landlord came and threatened to have them arrested. Federal agents accused them of violating federal law and said they would be arrested. A few of them left. Among those who stayed, an 83 year old woman, along with others, refused to leave.
Local law enforcement was called. When they came and saw their aged fellow citizens (Williston population, 10,000), they said they were exercising their First Amendment rights and refused to arrest them.
Are we ready to do this? Am I?
We have a constitutional amendment (the 25th) that can remove a president who has become incompetent. The constitution can’t protect us from ourselves.
The people carrying out the deranged wishes of a deranged president, are fellow citizens. The Williston police may the first I’ve heard of, who actually dared to refuse to carry out an order they regard as illegal, under the laws they swore to uphold.
When more people begin to understand that a government dedicated to bullying, is antithetical to what we all love about being a part of the American experiment, and that more and more of us will put our lives on the line to prove that, the bullies will back down.
We’ve seen it over and over in this president.
Now it’s our turn.
P.S., The thing I do to be of service is I sew kennel mats (like little, 18" x 22" quilts) that are donated to a local rescue group. They're nothing spectacular, but pets don't put a lot of importance on esthetics. 😄 I've done a dozen so far this year. We drop them off at our vet's office because one of the staff knows someone in the rescue group. I recently learned that the kennel mats I've made are just right for covering a heating pad that new baby kittens have needed to stay warm. 🐾❤️
I am a newly retired professional nurse who is 100% burned out today. It is all too much: family and friend situations, political mayhem, violence, and murder. Lies. What gave me a small pleasure was looking at a YouTube video of Jon Batiste and Suleika Jaouad touring their home, a beautiful creation full of spirit. Their love for each other is evident in their behavior and all they have created around them. It's a reminder that I can do the same. But I am so tired. Hopefully, just for today.
I attended a SMART Recovery Meeting for Family and Friends this morning because I need to reinforce my own recovery strategies for real interpersonal relationships, and from what I grew up with, how it affects me, and taking a verbal beating yesterday from a younger sister who has a significant substance misuse disorder. She has throat cancer and heart disease and is facing more surgery. All I did was reach out with some free mental health resources to help her with anxiety, possibly. She lashed out at me with such vitriol that it took my breath away. I know to expect this, but it still hurts. The meeting was new to some people who felt relieved at what they heard and learned. That was good, because it helped me feel the same.
SMART is interesting because today the moderators did a presentation on boundaries and ways to support a loved one's recovery, or not, while respecting and having compassion for yourself. We learn compassion for them, too. Next week, we can share how we put these suggestions into action and how we felt about it.
This vitriol is the kind of thing we're experiencing every day from DJT, so it feels as if I'm back in the days when I couldn't escape from my home and abuse. Realistically speaking, I have tools now that I didn't have then, but I need to remind myself of them. I joined Braver Angels to learn how to interact with people with whom I don't agree and to reduce polarization. Right now, however, it doesn't feel like a political disagreement; it feels like a moral injury.
Recognizing his personality disorders only helps to understand him, but it doesn't help us to do anything about them. If you criticize him, he'll lash out harder and call himself the victim, just like my sister. So that's why I'm taking a break from my Meta accounts and looking at what can be done in those small ways we talk about. I've been writing to my representatives in Congress about social and environmental justice, as well as the Epstein files. As Pete Buttigieg has suggested, "Don't let up on them."
I’m so glad to hear that you are going to tend to yourself after so much caring and working. As Anne Lamont says, take care of the patient. And you / us / I am that patient. No matter what voices say, you matter.
Thank you, Ruth. Those kind, wise words mean a lot to me. I love Anne Lamott. A friend gifted me with her book "Help. Thanks. Wow."
It’s been helpful for me to simply focus on the practical good I can do to those I know, much as Nadia describes. I also have reduced my news intake dramatically, to maybe 10-15 minutes per day. It’s enough to stay informed but not be overwhelmed with trauma that I literally can’t do anything about. Peace to all.
Wonderful post as always. Got me thinking...I don't do much. But I teach Sunday School and I'm trying to make sure those sweet kiddos know that when Jesus said "love God and your neighbor" and "what you have done to the least of these, you do to Me" they really understand what that means. Praying for ripples. And praying for you, Nadia.
No act of kindness is too small. You are passing on love. ❤️
Thank you! I hope so.
Believe me, you are.
Your words are always just what I need to hear, Nadia. But the song you shared soothed my soul and eased the tension in my shoulders. Thank you. Sending blessings to you today.
I feel like almost every day, someone asks me "how do you keep going in the face of [insert currently exhausting thing here]?" And every day, I reach into my memory banks for something Pastor Nadia once said that puts my own feet back on the path again. Today is another one of those precious gems. Blessings and gratitude.
Oh wow! That song is powerful and true!
Carrie Newcomer has a song I have been holding onto as the news gets too heavy and too much. It is very different, but it talks about where we can make a difference—like the quilters!
https://youtu.be/6dROanqO8j8?si=i8i0Z3MbUW4C3Uyl
Great song. I can help within 3 feet of myself!!
I really like that song! Thanks for sharing it.
Thanks once again for sharing your insights. There are days when the enormity of things that *are not* under my control is the heaviest weight on my back. You'd think it would be so easy to drop that load, but some days I have to be reminded to let go.
Sometimes, when i could feel my inevitable defeat approaching, i would que the blocks to fall down super fast.
A form of tetris suicide, i guess.
Tetris is a perfect metaphor! Thanks for the encouragement Nadia. Helps to be reminded I'm allowed to just keep showing up in my own life in whatever small ways I can.
Yes so important we all know we are not alone. This is getting so bad. I fear a civil war. Listened to your interview with Suleika - love you both! Volunteer with PROJECT WORTHMORE- in Denver - serving refugees - will check out the org you suggested. It’s good to be together doing something good- serving helps- 🙏🏻