Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the family inheritance with me.” But he said to him, “Friend, who set me to be a judge or arbitrator over you?” And he said to them, “Take care!
God is good. A friend of mine had a stroke at 48 and had been in the hospital for over a week. (I found her unresponsive on the floor of her house.) She is expected to fully recover and was released to her Uncle and Aunt. Both are doting on her. The doctor said she could drive short distances but should avoid it if she can for a while. She heard she can drive short distances. So her first day out she drove several short distances before going to her Uncle and Aunt's to stay. Her Uncle and Aunt were extremely worried because they were expecting her in a few minutes and she didn't show up for a few hours. She also planned on staying with them for only a couple of days. We talked yesterday and she was complaining of everyone doing everything for her. I asked her why is she denying folks of helping her and doing things for her and why is she causing her Uncle and Aunt to worry? I told her she doesn't need to do things herself and to ask those around her for help, including me. (This is while I was driving her to her home to get a few things.) I get that it is hard to receive and depend on others when one has been "independent" since childhood. I've been independent since childhood too. I told her to look at the blessings she has that so many family and friends are willing to help her. All of us should be so blessed. "Don't deny these people the opportunity to help you," I said to her. She's agreed to ask for help whether it is rides or tasks. She has agreed to stay with her Uncle and Aunt for the next week (they are tickled pink I got her to stay longer and are "spoiling" her in her recovery).
When my dad died back in 2016,, I was so overcome with grief I couldn't function. I was crying so much I couldn't see and needed a little help getting around. My hubby and friends helped me get around town and called on me often to see how I was doing. It is humbling and it is the good part. May all of you be so blessed.
That’s a beautiful example of what Nadia was talking about. Sometimes the “good part” is letting someone else carry you for a bit — even when every instinct says you should be walking on your own. Sounds like your friend is lucky to have people like you who won’t let her miss that blessing.
Thank you for the additional aspect of needing to be needy.
To give and to receive.
Reminds me of the incident where Jesus was about to wash Peter’s feet, and he didn’t want the Lord of creation to do so. He didn’t want to be needy out of a crooked view on humility.
But Jesus as always shows a new perspective:
John 13:8-9
„No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”
Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”
9 “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”
We so much want to have part with Jesus. With one another. Like the Mandalorian says: This is the way…
That’s a great connection. Peter’s first instinct was to resist, but the whole point was to accept the care being given. It is humbling, but it’s also how we stay connected — to Jesus, to each other, and to the truth that we’re not meant to go it alone.
This is, as usual, a wonderful perspective. Thanks to the lectionary, I'm reading this the morning after my wife and I discussed this same passage as we led our CofE 'Cafe Church' service. We focused on the challenge we felt - to the idea of stewardship that my wife's fundamentalist churches had taken to mean the hoarding of funds, to the casting of ourselves as fools (comparatively -on a global scale- rich as we are). I am so grateful that you share your talents with the world so unstintingly.
It sounds like your conversation at Cafe Church really hit the heart of it. True stewardship isn’t about hoarding resources but about using what we’ve been given to serve others. I’m glad you’re bringing that challenge into the open and inviting people to think beyond the narrow definitions they may have grown up with.
I have so many feelings about this post, and it will take time - and several readings over time - to make sense of them all. I did know about the motivation of fear. My life is full of it. I know that most people would say I'm very generous financially. I know I still don't feel like it's enough, even though I'm leaving more than half of my treasure to charity, and give regularly to charities and friends in need. I feel like my giving is a cop-out, because treasure is only one-third of "time, treasure, and talent." And I'm a hider. I fear that I'm not enough, that somehow I will not have enough ??? left over if I put myself, my time, and my talents (and what ARE they, anyway?) out into the world. So I give financially. And, because I feel that's a cop-out, particularly because I'm giving out of abundance (in Stephen King's book, Fairy Tale, a character says “a brave man helps,” while “cowards just bring presents" and boy did that hit hard), I dismiss the good I DO do and say to myself, "it could be more." "It should be more." I *am* aware of God's abundant generosity to me, and I am grateful for things both big and small. Still. I still feel I'm doing it wrong. And asking for help...there is little more frightening to me than that.
Sometimes being a mortal seems very complicated.
So I have a lot of feelings related to this post, and I'm grateful you put it out there for me to learn from. Thank you.
Thank you! I suppose part of that problem is "what *is* mine to do???" and why my default is to assume that the answer is "the very last thing you WANT to do and also, in case we're not clear, the most FRIGHTENING thing for you to do." As if not suffering with generosity means it doesn't count. "That widow gave all she had!" I say to myself. "You just blew $20 at Goodwill on things you could live without!" I realize that is pretty funny, but it's true - I love thrifting at Goodwill, and even though every purchase goes toward their good work, I still feel that pinch of "That's an indulgence! You're not doing enough REAL good, you need to squirm with it!"
Ah, well. Progress, not perfection, eh? I'll get there eventually, with an open heart, an open mind, and a wide-open soul.
You’re being honest about the tension a lot of people feel, giving in one way while feeling you’re holding back in another. But giving from your abundance still matters, and it’s not nothing. Sometimes the next step isn’t to throw yourself into every possible need, but to take one small risk with your time or talent and see that the sky doesn’t fall. That is how courage grows.
What a wonderful insight - and reminder, as I'm pretty sure I know this already (every Monday, I have a tremendously difficult time leaving the house, but I know I'll be glad I did and then wonder why I had so much anxiety about it - again!) Each small step, each risk that doesn't cause an earthquake under us, is a reminder to take the next, and the next - and also that, even if we wobble or get hurt during one of those steps, it's good to remember all the ones that DIDN'T hurt.
Seems like a sloooooow process sometimes, though! Thank you for the reminder that courage doesn't just come at the end, like some sort of prize or reward - it's there already, with those early, tiny steps, but it GROWS.
Thank you Nadia. I have sat and read (or heard preached) this very passage for eons, and I never drawn from it your message of God's extravagant generosity and our own mutual need of one another . . . nor applied it to myself. I so very much needed this message right now, because I am the guy with the crops and barns in that parable (or could be). I have been guilty of amassing "stuff" (things, time, and resources, attitude, a sense of entitlement) for myself — using the excuse that I "need" it to make my "Art" — and have been stingy towards others because of it. I have built a bigger and better studio and purchased bigger and better equipment, some that I may never even fully utilize. Plus, I've been stingy, whiny and complain-y at demands placed on my time, resources, and headspace by people who have often legitimately needed my full attention, concern, and sometimes help. In short, my head has been up my own ass.
Thank you for telling us about your father. I recently lost my own a few months ago. In his final years, he too had to have his diaper changed and bottom wiped by strangers, an assault on his former sense of dignity that would have offended him greatly if his dementia hadn't made him more-or-less oblivious to it. I was greatly touched by what you shared. It now falls to me to care for my mother (92, and in similar straits), which I fear is going to be even more difficult. But maybe thinking of your message will remind me to muster up a modicum of grace (and even a smile) as I begin to go about it. I am very much going to try harder, and do better this time. None of us know how much time we have. All we have is today, this one moment, that God puts in front of us . . . and the people He brings into our lives. Everything else is just stuff . . . nothing but stuff. Thanks for the reminder!
It sounds like you’ve already taken the hardest step by naming where you’ve been holding back and deciding to approach this new season differently. Caring for your mother will not be easy, but the awareness you have now is going to shape how you show up. Remember that grace doesn’t have to feel perfect to be real, and even the smallest acts of presence can mean more than anything money or equipment could buy.
That's very courageous for you to say. Stickers with the new revelations and open your heart. Many gifts to find in return there that have nothing to do with money. God bless.
I read a story once, written by a woman who was laid up in the hospital for a while, and the deacons of the church brought her Communion on Sunday. And she got all, "Aw, shucks, you shouldn't have troubled yourself," and one of the deacons said, "Sorry, you don't get to interfere with our ministry."
'I just hope none of it ends up in a barn'- my, oh my!!! Easier to see those rich hoarders; not so easy to see how I fall into the same trap. Thanks for your wisdom!
Three years ago I had a planned shoulder replacement (recovered really well thankfully) and many offered to bring meals to my husband and I. Hating to inconvenience a couple people (one just lost son to suicide and the other having been in very bad relationship and going through messy divorce) so I turned them down. They were actually very disappointed. Both said later they wanted the opportunity to give back and my husband said he could have used the help. Just.Wow. I was the selfish one.
Several months later I had a knee replacement (years of competitive sports) and I welcomed and accepted offers of meals and transportation. Such a blessing to see the smiles as friends and family arrived to help and the relief on my husband’s face. As I wrote my thank you notes, it felt like it was my opportunity to “pray” for each person. That was the good part. Thank you for your words Nadia.
It’s amazing how much shifts when we realize that saying yes to help isn’t a burden to others, it’s a gift they actually want to give. Sounds like you turned that second recovery into a two-way blessing—receiving care while also honoring the people who showed up for you.
An “ah ha” moment when listening to your Sermon… I think I get it when scripture says “to be rich towards God”. Always quietly questioned but never thought to ask.
“The needing. The being needed. The being humbled by our own humanity. The economy of Grace that God has given us to live within”… poetically explained.
This sermon resonates as I will do a self inventory of “what am I hoarding in my barns”? Wow, no doubt some 💩 in there! May not be physical possessions after all. Always viewed this parable as a rich persons problem and it’s not at all. You are right, it’s a humanitarian problem. Nadia-your wisdom and insight into scripture always takes me to higher ground. Thank you 🙏 ❤️
Robin Wall-Kimmerer, in her recent book The Serviceberry, writes that the safest place to store my meat is in the belly of my brother.
I'm grateful for the reminder and opportunity to be generous, to receive abundantly and to allow that abundance to flow through me. I can always do better.
OMG I loved this and need to read it often. Between your message and my pastor's message on the same parable yesterday, I have a lot to think about and tweak my behavior! And through it all, God is gentle and forgiving with me, urging me on, a wise parent.
Thank you. Your message is so important. So many people need so much…and so many of us live with a scarcity mentality, especially regarding money. I often wonder why it is that we so easily give zucchini bread in August and lasagna anytime, send cards and flowers when someone is down and in need of encouragement, but then someone is in need of resources such as money and the slamming of our barn doors is incredibly loud and final.
God is good. A friend of mine had a stroke at 48 and had been in the hospital for over a week. (I found her unresponsive on the floor of her house.) She is expected to fully recover and was released to her Uncle and Aunt. Both are doting on her. The doctor said she could drive short distances but should avoid it if she can for a while. She heard she can drive short distances. So her first day out she drove several short distances before going to her Uncle and Aunt's to stay. Her Uncle and Aunt were extremely worried because they were expecting her in a few minutes and she didn't show up for a few hours. She also planned on staying with them for only a couple of days. We talked yesterday and she was complaining of everyone doing everything for her. I asked her why is she denying folks of helping her and doing things for her and why is she causing her Uncle and Aunt to worry? I told her she doesn't need to do things herself and to ask those around her for help, including me. (This is while I was driving her to her home to get a few things.) I get that it is hard to receive and depend on others when one has been "independent" since childhood. I've been independent since childhood too. I told her to look at the blessings she has that so many family and friends are willing to help her. All of us should be so blessed. "Don't deny these people the opportunity to help you," I said to her. She's agreed to ask for help whether it is rides or tasks. She has agreed to stay with her Uncle and Aunt for the next week (they are tickled pink I got her to stay longer and are "spoiling" her in her recovery).
When my dad died back in 2016,, I was so overcome with grief I couldn't function. I was crying so much I couldn't see and needed a little help getting around. My hubby and friends helped me get around town and called on me often to see how I was doing. It is humbling and it is the good part. May all of you be so blessed.
That’s a beautiful example of what Nadia was talking about. Sometimes the “good part” is letting someone else carry you for a bit — even when every instinct says you should be walking on your own. Sounds like your friend is lucky to have people like you who won’t let her miss that blessing.
Dear favorite pastor Nadia,
Thank you 😊
Thank you for the additional aspect of needing to be needy.
To give and to receive.
Reminds me of the incident where Jesus was about to wash Peter’s feet, and he didn’t want the Lord of creation to do so. He didn’t want to be needy out of a crooked view on humility.
But Jesus as always shows a new perspective:
John 13:8-9
„No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”
Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”
9 “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”
We so much want to have part with Jesus. With one another. Like the Mandalorian says: This is the way…
Hugs from Germany
Renate
That’s a great connection. Peter’s first instinct was to resist, but the whole point was to accept the care being given. It is humbling, but it’s also how we stay connected — to Jesus, to each other, and to the truth that we’re not meant to go it alone.
Yesss 🥰
This is, as usual, a wonderful perspective. Thanks to the lectionary, I'm reading this the morning after my wife and I discussed this same passage as we led our CofE 'Cafe Church' service. We focused on the challenge we felt - to the idea of stewardship that my wife's fundamentalist churches had taken to mean the hoarding of funds, to the casting of ourselves as fools (comparatively -on a global scale- rich as we are). I am so grateful that you share your talents with the world so unstintingly.
It sounds like your conversation at Cafe Church really hit the heart of it. True stewardship isn’t about hoarding resources but about using what we’ve been given to serve others. I’m glad you’re bringing that challenge into the open and inviting people to think beyond the narrow definitions they may have grown up with.
I have so many feelings about this post, and it will take time - and several readings over time - to make sense of them all. I did know about the motivation of fear. My life is full of it. I know that most people would say I'm very generous financially. I know I still don't feel like it's enough, even though I'm leaving more than half of my treasure to charity, and give regularly to charities and friends in need. I feel like my giving is a cop-out, because treasure is only one-third of "time, treasure, and talent." And I'm a hider. I fear that I'm not enough, that somehow I will not have enough ??? left over if I put myself, my time, and my talents (and what ARE they, anyway?) out into the world. So I give financially. And, because I feel that's a cop-out, particularly because I'm giving out of abundance (in Stephen King's book, Fairy Tale, a character says “a brave man helps,” while “cowards just bring presents" and boy did that hit hard), I dismiss the good I DO do and say to myself, "it could be more." "It should be more." I *am* aware of God's abundant generosity to me, and I am grateful for things both big and small. Still. I still feel I'm doing it wrong. And asking for help...there is little more frightening to me than that.
Sometimes being a mortal seems very complicated.
So I have a lot of feelings related to this post, and I'm grateful you put it out there for me to learn from. Thank you.
Leigh, please see my reply to EmmaAustin below!
Thank you! I suppose part of that problem is "what *is* mine to do???" and why my default is to assume that the answer is "the very last thing you WANT to do and also, in case we're not clear, the most FRIGHTENING thing for you to do." As if not suffering with generosity means it doesn't count. "That widow gave all she had!" I say to myself. "You just blew $20 at Goodwill on things you could live without!" I realize that is pretty funny, but it's true - I love thrifting at Goodwill, and even though every purchase goes toward their good work, I still feel that pinch of "That's an indulgence! You're not doing enough REAL good, you need to squirm with it!"
Ah, well. Progress, not perfection, eh? I'll get there eventually, with an open heart, an open mind, and a wide-open soul.
You’re being honest about the tension a lot of people feel, giving in one way while feeling you’re holding back in another. But giving from your abundance still matters, and it’s not nothing. Sometimes the next step isn’t to throw yourself into every possible need, but to take one small risk with your time or talent and see that the sky doesn’t fall. That is how courage grows.
What a wonderful insight - and reminder, as I'm pretty sure I know this already (every Monday, I have a tremendously difficult time leaving the house, but I know I'll be glad I did and then wonder why I had so much anxiety about it - again!) Each small step, each risk that doesn't cause an earthquake under us, is a reminder to take the next, and the next - and also that, even if we wobble or get hurt during one of those steps, it's good to remember all the ones that DIDN'T hurt.
Seems like a sloooooow process sometimes, though! Thank you for the reminder that courage doesn't just come at the end, like some sort of prize or reward - it's there already, with those early, tiny steps, but it GROWS.
This crazy ol' lady blows a kiss your way!
Thank you Nadia. I have sat and read (or heard preached) this very passage for eons, and I never drawn from it your message of God's extravagant generosity and our own mutual need of one another . . . nor applied it to myself. I so very much needed this message right now, because I am the guy with the crops and barns in that parable (or could be). I have been guilty of amassing "stuff" (things, time, and resources, attitude, a sense of entitlement) for myself — using the excuse that I "need" it to make my "Art" — and have been stingy towards others because of it. I have built a bigger and better studio and purchased bigger and better equipment, some that I may never even fully utilize. Plus, I've been stingy, whiny and complain-y at demands placed on my time, resources, and headspace by people who have often legitimately needed my full attention, concern, and sometimes help. In short, my head has been up my own ass.
Thank you for telling us about your father. I recently lost my own a few months ago. In his final years, he too had to have his diaper changed and bottom wiped by strangers, an assault on his former sense of dignity that would have offended him greatly if his dementia hadn't made him more-or-less oblivious to it. I was greatly touched by what you shared. It now falls to me to care for my mother (92, and in similar straits), which I fear is going to be even more difficult. But maybe thinking of your message will remind me to muster up a modicum of grace (and even a smile) as I begin to go about it. I am very much going to try harder, and do better this time. None of us know how much time we have. All we have is today, this one moment, that God puts in front of us . . . and the people He brings into our lives. Everything else is just stuff . . . nothing but stuff. Thanks for the reminder!
It sounds like you’ve already taken the hardest step by naming where you’ve been holding back and deciding to approach this new season differently. Caring for your mother will not be easy, but the awareness you have now is going to shape how you show up. Remember that grace doesn’t have to feel perfect to be real, and even the smallest acts of presence can mean more than anything money or equipment could buy.
That's very courageous for you to say. Stickers with the new revelations and open your heart. Many gifts to find in return there that have nothing to do with money. God bless.
Not sure why it spell corrected Ted stickers with stickers.
Omg! Stick, not stickers! Why does it do that?
I read a story once, written by a woman who was laid up in the hospital for a while, and the deacons of the church brought her Communion on Sunday. And she got all, "Aw, shucks, you shouldn't have troubled yourself," and one of the deacons said, "Sorry, you don't get to interfere with our ministry."
Bam!
'I just hope none of it ends up in a barn'- my, oh my!!! Easier to see those rich hoarders; not so easy to see how I fall into the same trap. Thanks for your wisdom!
This made my Monday
Wow, this one especially spoke to me.
Three years ago I had a planned shoulder replacement (recovered really well thankfully) and many offered to bring meals to my husband and I. Hating to inconvenience a couple people (one just lost son to suicide and the other having been in very bad relationship and going through messy divorce) so I turned them down. They were actually very disappointed. Both said later they wanted the opportunity to give back and my husband said he could have used the help. Just.Wow. I was the selfish one.
Several months later I had a knee replacement (years of competitive sports) and I welcomed and accepted offers of meals and transportation. Such a blessing to see the smiles as friends and family arrived to help and the relief on my husband’s face. As I wrote my thank you notes, it felt like it was my opportunity to “pray” for each person. That was the good part. Thank you for your words Nadia.
It’s amazing how much shifts when we realize that saying yes to help isn’t a burden to others, it’s a gift they actually want to give. Sounds like you turned that second recovery into a two-way blessing—receiving care while also honoring the people who showed up for you.
An “ah ha” moment when listening to your Sermon… I think I get it when scripture says “to be rich towards God”. Always quietly questioned but never thought to ask.
“The needing. The being needed. The being humbled by our own humanity. The economy of Grace that God has given us to live within”… poetically explained.
This sermon resonates as I will do a self inventory of “what am I hoarding in my barns”? Wow, no doubt some 💩 in there! May not be physical possessions after all. Always viewed this parable as a rich persons problem and it’s not at all. You are right, it’s a humanitarian problem. Nadia-your wisdom and insight into scripture always takes me to higher ground. Thank you 🙏 ❤️
Wonderful to expand the teaching in that way - thank you, knowing oneself loved us do vital but so hard sometimes
Robin Wall-Kimmerer, in her recent book The Serviceberry, writes that the safest place to store my meat is in the belly of my brother.
I'm grateful for the reminder and opportunity to be generous, to receive abundantly and to allow that abundance to flow through me. I can always do better.
OMG I loved this and need to read it often. Between your message and my pastor's message on the same parable yesterday, I have a lot to think about and tweak my behavior! And through it all, God is gentle and forgiving with me, urging me on, a wise parent.
Woo- so good!
Thank you. Your message is so important. So many people need so much…and so many of us live with a scarcity mentality, especially regarding money. I often wonder why it is that we so easily give zucchini bread in August and lasagna anytime, send cards and flowers when someone is down and in need of encouragement, but then someone is in need of resources such as money and the slamming of our barn doors is incredibly loud and final.
Good point, Susan.
Thank you for using your gifts💝 You have a way of cutting through all the BS to bring what's truly important to light.