Years ago I began to follow Richard Rohr’s advice on many things, including two which have transformed my life:
1. I’ve cut out almost all news from my life. We were never meant to bathe in planetary trauma every hour of every day, which we pretty much are collectively doing as we scroll, scroll, scroll. I get The Tangle and skim the news for about 5 minutes; it’s all I really need and probably more than I need.
2. Many folks beside Rohr have suggested #1 above, but the following practice is pure Rohr, I think: he says that when we are in a public space (for me a lot of airports and hotels and restaurants), pause and look around at everyone in sight and notice all the LOVE that is on display. Truly awful behavior is very rare (which is why it’s still such a shock). By FAR the most common thing you will see are people being kind to strangers, smiling, etc.
For someone who grew up thinking everyone (especially me) was Totally Depraved at heart (thanks Calvin!), this has been an amazing corrective.
For some unknown/graced reason, one of the fragments that has stuck with me over the years is one of the responses in the Vespers Litany: "Those who toil, those who sing, . . . and all the people here present who await from the Lord great and abundant mercy, let us pray to the Lord". All the people. . . awaiting mercy. Pops into my head pretty regularly on the subway; I'm trying to bring it to conscious use in any group situation. It's a universal state, whether we know it or not.
By chance, I gifted myself with a suet feeder for Christmas. I installed outside my workroom window. Beautiful, hungry birds come to feast daily. Watching the birds has changed my outlook.
I'm mobility impaired, and bragging a bit, the feeder is the best thing I've done for me in ages.
What a beautiful declaration of attention! I love this! It will help us this year. Focusing on seeing the beauty in others. Keep up your good writing Nadia. It is life giving.
Happy New Year love! I admit to making a New Years resolution to get in shape, start eating better and all that good shit. Mostly I need to do this for my planned pilgrimage to walk the Camino de Santiago. I'm going in August to celebrate my 27-year sobriety date. Last year I was with you in Sioux Falls on August 15th. I've saved your email from when you went and all your amazing tips and it is what really inspired me. It's something I have wanted to do for many years. I will be turning 66 in August as well, so time is of the essence. I look forward to your words of wisdom in 2026. I love you, Kat
Nadia, from afar and without you and I having ever met, your recovery seems to be going quite nicely. Humility is an effort. Resilience is a gift. Thanks for the inspiration.
this is the best new year's intention I have seen this year. Thank you. I commit to focusing on that which is good and true and beautiful. May the eternal one keep you safe and healthy and joy-full this year.
For several years I have chosen a word of the year to focus my spiritual life toward. This year I choose “attention.” Now I will look for a symbol to help me remember.
I have had an extremely close relationship with my granddaughter since she was born. She is now expecting her first child, Jack Henry. She won’t speak to me. What did I do??? I won’t listen to my son who says she is this way with everyone and to not take it personally. I’m bound and determined to take it personally and become the martyr. But not today. Hopefully not tomorrow. I’ll continue to knit the baby sweater with the cows and barn scene and quilt the rabbit blanket that I searched online until I found the same pattern I used in 1973 for her dad, my son . Thank you and Happy New Year, Nadia.
Thank you for this Christmas gift on the days before Epiphany. When I was raising my children the credo I had was people suck and God is good. I am in the season of my life where I have chosen to live in my beloved Blue Ridge Mountains and I can walk out of my door and see them every day and know that God is good. Thank you for giving me some thing that I can give to them because they're in their 30s in the thick of their lives in different cities. They can get up each day and while on the trains, perhaps can say, God created that person who seems to suck, and God is good.
Thank you for these words. I am going to write them in my journal and try to come back to them when I feel down. There is good and I must look for it and acknowledge it and share it with others so the good can be spread and shared.
Before I entered ministry, I worked in hospitality for many years, from a very young age working around roadside motels to a career as an executive with major global brands. I met 1000s of people, trained 100s of customer service agents, and a recurring piece of advice I offered was this. 3% of all of our guests will have a problem with their stay. The problem is that they will take up 97% of our time. How we focus our energy is essential and also requires intentionality. It's hard, but also a good spiritual discipline.
Thank you for this wonderfully insightful post Nadia.
I read recently that those who deal with C-PTSD, in addition to negativity bias, are also triggered by kindness and empathy because their nervous systems don't perceive them as safety, rather just another aspect of the relationship/experience that can be taken away. Experiencing the last year, in the US especially, has been traumatic for many. Especially our back, brown, LGBTQ and trans citizens. Might we keep this in mind as we embark on this new year with the intention of loving kindness? And not only for others but also for ourselves.
Years ago I began to follow Richard Rohr’s advice on many things, including two which have transformed my life:
1. I’ve cut out almost all news from my life. We were never meant to bathe in planetary trauma every hour of every day, which we pretty much are collectively doing as we scroll, scroll, scroll. I get The Tangle and skim the news for about 5 minutes; it’s all I really need and probably more than I need.
2. Many folks beside Rohr have suggested #1 above, but the following practice is pure Rohr, I think: he says that when we are in a public space (for me a lot of airports and hotels and restaurants), pause and look around at everyone in sight and notice all the LOVE that is on display. Truly awful behavior is very rare (which is why it’s still such a shock). By FAR the most common thing you will see are people being kind to strangers, smiling, etc.
For someone who grew up thinking everyone (especially me) was Totally Depraved at heart (thanks Calvin!), this has been an amazing corrective.
Happy New Year!
For some unknown/graced reason, one of the fragments that has stuck with me over the years is one of the responses in the Vespers Litany: "Those who toil, those who sing, . . . and all the people here present who await from the Lord great and abundant mercy, let us pray to the Lord". All the people. . . awaiting mercy. Pops into my head pretty regularly on the subway; I'm trying to bring it to conscious use in any group situation. It's a universal state, whether we know it or not.
This is beautiful. I love the 2 life-changing suggestions.
1. Less news watching
2. More spontaneous, casual, covert people watching
I bet that will change my perspective profoundly. 🙂
Best New Year’s resolution ever: “We the people of 2026 will look for beauty.”
Thank you.
By chance, I gifted myself with a suet feeder for Christmas. I installed outside my workroom window. Beautiful, hungry birds come to feast daily. Watching the birds has changed my outlook.
I'm mobility impaired, and bragging a bit, the feeder is the best thing I've done for me in ages.
Gotta go, two cardinals just arrived.
Happy New Year to all!
Did they vote for the current Pope?
The cardinals are mute on the subject of voting for the Pope, as expected.
I get it - the appearance of my (?) noisy, blustering blue jay makes my morning. I know he just wants peanuts but hey….
I love my bird feeders too!
Who knew feeders could be a source of both amusement and reflection. Glad you love them too! Happy New Year!
What a beautiful declaration of attention! I love this! It will help us this year. Focusing on seeing the beauty in others. Keep up your good writing Nadia. It is life giving.
Dear Nadia,
Happy New Year love! I admit to making a New Years resolution to get in shape, start eating better and all that good shit. Mostly I need to do this for my planned pilgrimage to walk the Camino de Santiago. I'm going in August to celebrate my 27-year sobriety date. Last year I was with you in Sioux Falls on August 15th. I've saved your email from when you went and all your amazing tips and it is what really inspired me. It's something I have wanted to do for many years. I will be turning 66 in August as well, so time is of the essence. I look forward to your words of wisdom in 2026. I love you, Kat
Buen Camino!!!
You go girl!
"If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it." --WW
Related:
Beauty before me,
Beauty behind me,
Beauty to the right of me,
Beauty to the left of me,
Beauty above me,
Beauty below me,
I’m on the pollen path.
—Navajo
Nadia, from afar and without you and I having ever met, your recovery seems to be going quite nicely. Humility is an effort. Resilience is a gift. Thanks for the inspiration.
“Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” - Mr. Rogers’s mom.
this is the best new year's intention I have seen this year. Thank you. I commit to focusing on that which is good and true and beautiful. May the eternal one keep you safe and healthy and joy-full this year.
For several years I have chosen a word of the year to focus my spiritual life toward. This year I choose “attention.” Now I will look for a symbol to help me remember.
I have had an extremely close relationship with my granddaughter since she was born. She is now expecting her first child, Jack Henry. She won’t speak to me. What did I do??? I won’t listen to my son who says she is this way with everyone and to not take it personally. I’m bound and determined to take it personally and become the martyr. But not today. Hopefully not tomorrow. I’ll continue to knit the baby sweater with the cows and barn scene and quilt the rabbit blanket that I searched online until I found the same pattern I used in 1973 for her dad, my son . Thank you and Happy New Year, Nadia.
Thank you for this Christmas gift on the days before Epiphany. When I was raising my children the credo I had was people suck and God is good. I am in the season of my life where I have chosen to live in my beloved Blue Ridge Mountains and I can walk out of my door and see them every day and know that God is good. Thank you for giving me some thing that I can give to them because they're in their 30s in the thick of their lives in different cities. They can get up each day and while on the trains, perhaps can say, God created that person who seems to suck, and God is good.
Amen! Nadia,could you write more about attention this year, please?
Thank you for these words. I am going to write them in my journal and try to come back to them when I feel down. There is good and I must look for it and acknowledge it and share it with others so the good can be spread and shared.
Before I entered ministry, I worked in hospitality for many years, from a very young age working around roadside motels to a career as an executive with major global brands. I met 1000s of people, trained 100s of customer service agents, and a recurring piece of advice I offered was this. 3% of all of our guests will have a problem with their stay. The problem is that they will take up 97% of our time. How we focus our energy is essential and also requires intentionality. It's hard, but also a good spiritual discipline.
Thank you. And, on your recommendation of a few months ago- I’m reading Jayber Crow. Loving it! Thank you. 🙏🏻
Thank you for this wonderfully insightful post Nadia.
I read recently that those who deal with C-PTSD, in addition to negativity bias, are also triggered by kindness and empathy because their nervous systems don't perceive them as safety, rather just another aspect of the relationship/experience that can be taken away. Experiencing the last year, in the US especially, has been traumatic for many. Especially our back, brown, LGBTQ and trans citizens. Might we keep this in mind as we embark on this new year with the intention of loving kindness? And not only for others but also for ourselves.