Love Letters, Black Liturgies and Pasadena California

Some ways to connect this week!

1. The gorgeous writer, and wonderful human, Elizabeth Gilbert has a Substack,

Letters From Love with Elizabeth Gilbertin which she asks us to write a letter to ourselves from pure, unconditional love.

Each week she features guest writers and this week it was my turn.

Liz asked me to light a candle and write: Love, what would you have me know? and then document what comes after that even if it’s uncomfortable. Just submit to it, oh, and she said don’t be fussy about the writing.

This is all pretty vulnerable stuff. And I’ll tell you, Corner Dwelling Beauties, I put it off until the very last minute, until I was leaving for the airport and even then I fought it. What helped a little was when I realized that Pure Love is, for me, just another way to speak of Christ, and when I allowed for that, this is what came:

Dear Love, what would you have me know today?

Nadia? Is that you? It’s so nice to hear from you.

I guess first I want you to know that you can check in more, baby girl. I mean, I’m not saying this to shame you of course (that’s never my vibe), just to remind you that the distance between us never changes, to remind you that I am always here, as close as your next breath.

I want you to know that I forgive you for all the times you gave torn little pieces of your heart to people, and institutions, and ideologies, and ambitions, and elimination diets that could never love you back. In fact, I love you so much that I went and got all those little shards back for you. So when your mind wanders to the past and all those times your heart was hungry and a tiny bit foolish, and you start feeling hurt and angry and ashamed all over again, remember that no one got to keep the parts of yourself you mistakenly thought they were worthy of. I went back and got every piece of sweetness back. So I guess what I am saying is, never forget that you are whole. And it would mean the world to me if you could also maybe forgive yourself for all that stuff. Really, sweet pea. It’s over. And we’ve moved on, you and I.

I want you to know that you can stop trying to earn what is already yours: your dignity, your beauty, your lovability.

I want you to know that you will feel better after that apology that you still owe someone for something stupid that happened last week. Baby girl, I promise it won’t cost you what you think it will. Your ego wants to convince you that you are never at fault (or always at fault — she’s kind of a switch hitter that way) but it’s okay. Go say sorry. I am big and I got you.

I want you to know that every time you set a standard for yourself that is higher than you would have set for literally any other person you know, that’s not a commitment to “excellence.” It’s pride. And not the kind that I have for you (and I have so much, and we’ll get to that in a sec, honey). It’s the kind of pride that keeps you being an asshole to yourself. It’s the thing in you that is terrified of satisfaction, of trusting that anything is “enough.” Meanwhile I’m here just bursting with pride, shouting “GOOD JOB, baby girl!” at the little things that you forget to notice — look at you not saying the snarky thing you know you will regret later, look at you learning from your previous miscalculations, look at you loving yourself a little more each year, look at you buying toilet paper BEFORE you run out, look at how unbothered you can be by shit that DOESN’T REALLY MATTER that you used to get worked up about. I, Love, have got pompoms in my hands, baby — just turn your head ever so slightly from your unmeetable standards, and in the corner of your eye you will find me cheering.

I want you to know that I very rarely hang out with your ego. I mean, she’s okay, but she’s a little manipulative, you know? She will try to tell you that you will finally feel loved and whole IF you get all the attention you crave, and IF you achieve more, and IF you beat your body into submission, and IF everyone treats you exactly the way you think they should, IF IF IF. That’s her word, baby. That’s not mine. That’s how you can tell us apart. There are no if-then propositions with me. I’m more Wizard of Oz than that. I’m because because because because because. Because you are already worthy of love, there’s nothing you can do to earn it. Because I, Love, am woven throughout all things, you do not have to muster up warm feelings toward any of those people you don’t like. I’ve got them covered. Because I am stronger than fear, you can relax.

So that’s what I’ve got for you today, sweetie.

You are whole. You are loved.

And let’s talk more real soon.

I adore you.

(And tell Liz she looks amazing with short hair!)

Love, 

Love

Elizabeth Gilbert has magically cultivated a deeply loving and vulnerable community on the internet! (not surprising). Do check out Letters From Love with Elizabeth Gilbert for so many reasons, not the least of which is: the poem Liz posted yesterday was a banger. (Plus you’ll find a video of me reading my love letter!)

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2. Cole Arthur Riley’s new book, Black Liturgies is out - and it is a stunner.

Black Liturgies; Prayers, Poems, and Meditations for Staying Human

A collection of prayer, poetry, and spiritual practice centering the Black interior world.

If you have been looking for a prayer book that isn’t full of empty nonsense and cloying religiosity, but calls a thing what it is with depth, hope and literary beauty - this book is for you!

I am hosting Cole on my Instagram Live for an author chat this Wednesday, Jan 17th 10a PT/1pET (Never watched and InstaLive? just click here and when Cole and I are live, the circle featuring my picture in the top left, will have a circle around it and say “live” - click there!)

Bonus: Cover art by the one and only Lanecia Rouse

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3. This Sunday Jan 21st at 9a I’ll be speaking at the forum at All Saints Pasadena

All Saints is a gorgeous, inclusive Episcopal church. This event is free and open to all. If you’re in the area, come by and say hi!

(Speaking of which, I happen to be in the area singing at the All California Sacred Harp Convention Sat 1-20 and Sun 1-21 from 9:30a-3p. Free, Open to all, no experience needed. Come check it out, even if just for an hour or so!)

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