I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2018- I had a lumpectomy, radiation, and five years of medication (which I thankfully had few side effects). This year I had two knee replacements (6 months apart). I have life threatening reactions to narcotics so couldn’t enjoy the benefits of narcotics and just used Tylenol. After my second knee replacement, I was finally diagnosed with a condition called lipedemia. It is a build up of fat in your body that you can not loose by diet and exercise. Experts suspect I have 35 to 50 pounds of this fat, mostly in my lower body. A few weeks later I was diagnosed with bladder cancer (Completely unrelated to breast cancer.). It was then I told everyone that I had taken up cursing for lent. What I didn’t expect was the huge support of daily messages from my friends fucking cursing with me. My pastor sent me a cartoon of a woman stating cursing was her spiritual gift. A huge gift for me was when my spiritual advisor prayed that Jesus would join me in my cursing. I had never really thought of God joining me and it gave me such freedom. I’m not dying and as a seventy year old woman I truly believe I’ll have peace when that time comes. But sometimes I just don’t want to go through the fucking process.
“Cursing as a spiritual gift”, omg!😆 My niece drops the F bomb so much that I was surprised it wasn’t her kids’ first word. She would love this. I love this!
Seriously though, I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with so much. Your sense of humor is also a spiritual gift. And there’s support here for you. ❤️
Thank you so much for this. I have been in a prayerless desert for ten years. I am sick of being told “dark night of the soul blah blah blah” as if being devoid of faith and angry at God were some kind of spiritual win. It is sweet to my heart to think that maybe this is just a normal human response to suffering, it happens sometime, and that God and y’all’s prayers have got this covered. As I creep back into some kind of relationship with the Big Holy Something your voice is one of the things that sustains me.
"...if you're not in a time of trouble, one is coming or one has just ended." Hit me like a thrown punch! So true! So simple and wise. Keep the faith even when it goes dark. Prayers enough for all of us. Thank you, Nadia. I'm saying a prayer for you.
God has blessed me beyond my imagination and expectations and I am filled with gratitude. God never promised me that this life would be easy and comfortable and it has not been. I feel like I am facing a time of trouble that is coming. It is forcing me to stay in the now (which is where God is) to avoid a constant panic attack. I know it is coming but I don't know when it will arrive. It's a weird sensation. But there are many who are in need now that I can put on my prayer list along with my gratitude list. There is still much to do to serve God and others that I stay busy. Once upon a far away time I would shake my fist in a drunken stupor at God but God never abandoned me even then. God has not left me yet even when I "forget" or "ignore" God.
I think of the prayer that Jesus spoke for those of us who believed but never met Him in person. It encourages me and fills me with wonder. Part of my prayers today with all that is going on in the world is, "God, there is so much need and suffering I can't list it all. It's too much" God knows and still will accept those prayers. Not the same prayer as Jesus but I hope it covers all.
I have a niece who once told me of her justice minded 8 yr. old son struggling with who and what to pray for with these words, "Just say Lord, I pray for everyone who needs prayer."
Non-existent and ever-present. Yes. I feel that in the deepest level of my being. Prayers have been going up for you while you’ve been battling and healing. 🙏🏽🕊️
Thank you, Nadia, for your comments on the impact of faith or its lack, prayers or their lack and the reality we live in. And special thanks to others, particularly to Lorna and her gift of the blessings of cursing.
They touch on my own reality and my responses to the griefs and challenges it brings.
Over the years I have often apologized for long letters or comments, because I did not have the time or energy to offer short ones. Today I will aspire to a short one and may bring some relevant long ones at another time.
My firstborn son, who lives in Denmark, is facing serious health issues, which I will not detail here. Our international family continues regularly to share online our offerings on his challenges. The expression, "You are in our thoughts and prayers." emerges often.
The statement itself is bland and seems without force, but we have thought much about the many different meanings it has to different people. My son's response says all that is needed about prayer, from any system of belief or its lack. He said that prayer has meaning to him based on its reflection of intent, sincerity and love.
That seems to cover it all, and I have shared his thoughts with many.
Last Spring 2025, a part of my family including my son, his child now a son, my husband visited in Oregon to have an adventure in the coastal area. My niece and her partner met us for a meal, it was my niece’s birthday. We had surprise presents and lots of catch up. It was so good, we met again and again.
Then we had word on July 14, my niece had suddenly begun erratic behavior, then surgery, then diagnosed with glioblastoma brain cancer. I rushed to see her recover from surgery. She pledged to survive this. But there is no survival. She died on All Saints Day 4 months later.
Your words in this message ring deep and true. Thank you. I will weep one more time, at least. But I have to trust, too. Marta B
Nadia I love the gist of this; thank you for your wise insights on the reality of suffering. Please explain what PTO is so I can better understand your entire message.
Thank you for your honesty, and not making faith into a mask with a gaggy fake smile, as if we have to protect a weak God from our true feelings. John the Baptist had doubts, and Jesus response encourages me to be more authentic in my prayers, and not hide or withhold, as I believe God can take whatever I dish out. It's in the wrestling that we grow stronger.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I listened to it and was moved to tears. I just love how real and encouraging you are. Of course you also made me laugh, which is what you're so good at. Keep on shining.
Life and circumstances, and yes, even Faith, have the adaptability to weather any storm. Remember when the disciples were being tossed by the waves, and Jesus was taking a "power nap". The solution was not to BLAM! Take everybody out of danger by zipping them over to dry land.
The "solution" was to calm the storm, not avoid it.
I've had a neuropathy since 2006, thyroid cancer since about 2010. And this summer, after doing the usual prep to start photography this spring. Nature had other ideas. I wound up spending a week in the hospital at the end of May. Diagnosed with "Ramsay-Hunt". As if I really needed another chronic illness. And it has taken since about mid-November to come to terms and grips with the now "new" normal.
The "solution" was to calm the storm, not avoid it.
As for me and my House, I will serve the Lord.
Okay, maybe I can't stand up for as long as I used to. Social media has been a blessing in that regard. As long as I have my brain and my faith, I can do what The Father wants, sitting down if I have to. Doing my best impression of the very rocks and stones singing!
Over the past 24 hours, my team has spent quite a bit of time reflecting on a tension many of us recognize: whether it is more important not to burden others with our own complaints, or rather to remain open to the struggles of others so that we may truly “bear one another’s burdens.”
In a moment, I’ll ask AI to provide a translation and will share this piece with my community. I have a sense it may bring real hope to a few people who need it right now.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2018- I had a lumpectomy, radiation, and five years of medication (which I thankfully had few side effects). This year I had two knee replacements (6 months apart). I have life threatening reactions to narcotics so couldn’t enjoy the benefits of narcotics and just used Tylenol. After my second knee replacement, I was finally diagnosed with a condition called lipedemia. It is a build up of fat in your body that you can not loose by diet and exercise. Experts suspect I have 35 to 50 pounds of this fat, mostly in my lower body. A few weeks later I was diagnosed with bladder cancer (Completely unrelated to breast cancer.). It was then I told everyone that I had taken up cursing for lent. What I didn’t expect was the huge support of daily messages from my friends fucking cursing with me. My pastor sent me a cartoon of a woman stating cursing was her spiritual gift. A huge gift for me was when my spiritual advisor prayed that Jesus would join me in my cursing. I had never really thought of God joining me and it gave me such freedom. I’m not dying and as a seventy year old woman I truly believe I’ll have peace when that time comes. But sometimes I just don’t want to go through the fucking process.
The mutual cursing of the saints!
“Cursing as a spiritual gift”, omg!😆 My niece drops the F bomb so much that I was surprised it wasn’t her kids’ first word. She would love this. I love this!
Seriously though, I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with so much. Your sense of humor is also a spiritual gift. And there’s support here for you. ❤️
Thank you so much for this. I have been in a prayerless desert for ten years. I am sick of being told “dark night of the soul blah blah blah” as if being devoid of faith and angry at God were some kind of spiritual win. It is sweet to my heart to think that maybe this is just a normal human response to suffering, it happens sometime, and that God and y’all’s prayers have got this covered. As I creep back into some kind of relationship with the Big Holy Something your voice is one of the things that sustains me.
Thank you Nadia. It is so good to hear your preacher voice again. I continue to send loving kindness and prayers your way. 🙏❤️
"...if you're not in a time of trouble, one is coming or one has just ended." Hit me like a thrown punch! So true! So simple and wise. Keep the faith even when it goes dark. Prayers enough for all of us. Thank you, Nadia. I'm saying a prayer for you.
God has blessed me beyond my imagination and expectations and I am filled with gratitude. God never promised me that this life would be easy and comfortable and it has not been. I feel like I am facing a time of trouble that is coming. It is forcing me to stay in the now (which is where God is) to avoid a constant panic attack. I know it is coming but I don't know when it will arrive. It's a weird sensation. But there are many who are in need now that I can put on my prayer list along with my gratitude list. There is still much to do to serve God and others that I stay busy. Once upon a far away time I would shake my fist in a drunken stupor at God but God never abandoned me even then. God has not left me yet even when I "forget" or "ignore" God.
I think of the prayer that Jesus spoke for those of us who believed but never met Him in person. It encourages me and fills me with wonder. Part of my prayers today with all that is going on in the world is, "God, there is so much need and suffering I can't list it all. It's too much" God knows and still will accept those prayers. Not the same prayer as Jesus but I hope it covers all.
I have a niece who once told me of her justice minded 8 yr. old son struggling with who and what to pray for with these words, "Just say Lord, I pray for everyone who needs prayer."
amen
Non-existent and ever-present. Yes. I feel that in the deepest level of my being. Prayers have been going up for you while you’ve been battling and healing. 🙏🏽🕊️
Thank you, Nadia, for your comments on the impact of faith or its lack, prayers or their lack and the reality we live in. And special thanks to others, particularly to Lorna and her gift of the blessings of cursing.
They touch on my own reality and my responses to the griefs and challenges it brings.
Over the years I have often apologized for long letters or comments, because I did not have the time or energy to offer short ones. Today I will aspire to a short one and may bring some relevant long ones at another time.
My firstborn son, who lives in Denmark, is facing serious health issues, which I will not detail here. Our international family continues regularly to share online our offerings on his challenges. The expression, "You are in our thoughts and prayers." emerges often.
The statement itself is bland and seems without force, but we have thought much about the many different meanings it has to different people. My son's response says all that is needed about prayer, from any system of belief or its lack. He said that prayer has meaning to him based on its reflection of intent, sincerity and love.
That seems to cover it all, and I have shared his thoughts with many.
Oh Nadia you are back with the words we all need in this aching world! I needed this so much today, ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Last Spring 2025, a part of my family including my son, his child now a son, my husband visited in Oregon to have an adventure in the coastal area. My niece and her partner met us for a meal, it was my niece’s birthday. We had surprise presents and lots of catch up. It was so good, we met again and again.
Then we had word on July 14, my niece had suddenly begun erratic behavior, then surgery, then diagnosed with glioblastoma brain cancer. I rushed to see her recover from surgery. She pledged to survive this. But there is no survival. She died on All Saints Day 4 months later.
Your words in this message ring deep and true. Thank you. I will weep one more time, at least. But I have to trust, too. Marta B
Nadia I love the gist of this; thank you for your wise insights on the reality of suffering. Please explain what PTO is so I can better understand your entire message.
Personal time off. You seem to have escaped the joys of an HR department 😉
Thank you Patricia.
Nadia… You never ever cease to inspire and soften the heart of this Jewish girl from New York. Thank you.
I love this so much Nadia, and so grateful you are healing!🙏🧡
Thank you for your honesty, and not making faith into a mask with a gaggy fake smile, as if we have to protect a weak God from our true feelings. John the Baptist had doubts, and Jesus response encourages me to be more authentic in my prayers, and not hide or withhold, as I believe God can take whatever I dish out. It's in the wrestling that we grow stronger.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I listened to it and was moved to tears. I just love how real and encouraging you are. Of course you also made me laugh, which is what you're so good at. Keep on shining.
Life and circumstances, and yes, even Faith, have the adaptability to weather any storm. Remember when the disciples were being tossed by the waves, and Jesus was taking a "power nap". The solution was not to BLAM! Take everybody out of danger by zipping them over to dry land.
The "solution" was to calm the storm, not avoid it.
I've had a neuropathy since 2006, thyroid cancer since about 2010. And this summer, after doing the usual prep to start photography this spring. Nature had other ideas. I wound up spending a week in the hospital at the end of May. Diagnosed with "Ramsay-Hunt". As if I really needed another chronic illness. And it has taken since about mid-November to come to terms and grips with the now "new" normal.
The "solution" was to calm the storm, not avoid it.
As for me and my House, I will serve the Lord.
Okay, maybe I can't stand up for as long as I used to. Social media has been a blessing in that regard. As long as I have my brain and my faith, I can do what The Father wants, sitting down if I have to. Doing my best impression of the very rocks and stones singing!
ab uno disce omnes,
Ken
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this.
I’m deeply grateful to you for these words.
Over the past 24 hours, my team has spent quite a bit of time reflecting on a tension many of us recognize: whether it is more important not to burden others with our own complaints, or rather to remain open to the struggles of others so that we may truly “bear one another’s burdens.”
In a moment, I’ll ask AI to provide a translation and will share this piece with my community. I have a sense it may bring real hope to a few people who need it right now.
As for me, it’s also a reminder that the very same Gospel passage can give rise to very different reflections. I wrote about John yesterday — and I found myself seeing him from yet another angle. https://open.substack.com/pub/wordcrumbs/p/on-the-prophet-of-humility-o-proroku?r=2zcwhg&utm_medium=ios