Such a beautiful answer to us all. I love your poetry in these lines. “As I’ve said before, I don’t know why grief’s delivery system is so wildly inefficient, why it seems to drop off all its packages at once, regardless of when they were shipped”. Thank you! Here’s to more cortisol release!
I can’t tell you how often that very thought stops me from doing something. If there’s a possibility I might see someone who’s been kind to me or who I’ve loved or has loved me, I am afraid I will start crying and not stop. My brain knows better because I am good at laughing at myself, but it is a powerful deterrent. I’m so grateful for your voice over recent years. And your honest heart most of all.
The grief is always just below the surface. I know the tears are healing, but I didn’t know that cortisol makes healing tears a scientific fact! Cool. ❤️✌🏻
Oh I needed to hear this! who knew - a cortisol connection! i attended my church’s Blue Christmas worship this week and the tears kept rolling down my face. i took 4 packs of tissues and used 2, and hoped not to cause consternation in pastor. But I think he already knows about cortisol😍
I love the writing about tears...I've had tears around pain...and more wonderfully, tears roll freely when I am talking about or experiencing something deeply...and I really don't give a shit what anybody else thinks about it...Bach...a beautiful sunset... forbidden or unforbidden love...the tears roll and I smile...
Thank you! As someone who has 50 years of stuffed emotions from being told since I was barely older than a toddler to stop crying and pull myself together, I have the same fear. And asked my counselor this very question not even a month ago. But joy only comes if we let sorrow in as well, so I’ve been allowing a few tears to escape as I begin to feel again. I still feel my body fight against it, but the Lord has been kind to allow me small doses of tears as I re-acclimate to allowing my feelings to be felt.
The first time I visited a silent monastery in Cambridge, MA many years ago (I was not religious), I asked the monk during a group session why there were so many darn crucifixes on the walls -- so depressing, I said. He said that it was because life is a lot more like the crucifixion than the resurrection. I've never forgotten that. I used to never be able to cry, now I cry all the time. I've thought more recently of my tears as being a bridge between the two. Beautiful post, thank you. ❤️
I was reading a book with a sad ending. I cried. Nothing unusual for me. But this cry was more like sobbing. A lot was going on in my life and I realized the book had opened the flood gate. I needed a good cry. It has happened before but it’s been a while. I realized I’d been holding a lot in - being strong and steady. What a great release that cry was. Thanks Nadia
Dearest Nadia: Thank you for the reminder that pain and grief are as normal as comfort and joy. I've been dealing with pain in my right arm for several weeks (a tendon and muscle problem) and there are times when I feel angry because the times available for giving that arm complete rest are the times I would normally be sewing or knitting. (You will notice, of course, that I don't complain about not being able to do much by way if housework! 😁)
I've had a few surgeries in my life. Although none were to eradicate cancer, I'm familiar with the pain that comes in the healing process. I thought of if as bunches of nerve endings waking up really cranky because they'd been knocked out and then crowded (from normal swelling) so bad they couldn't flex. I offer that in the hope that it works as an option for how you could reframe your thoughts when the fear comes. But I realize that fear (like cancer, like grief, like anger) pretty much makes its own rules, you know, I'm not going to be upset if that doesn't work for you.
So I will just shut up now and let you be you. Feel what you feel, even if it seems ugly, because those special tears will wash the crud out. We're with you.
At 78 I'm just now learning to let myself cry... obstinance, being told to "grow up" because crying was just an attention seeking ruse, like showing off... and lots of other "stuff" has made crying tough for me.
I cannot thank you enough for the healing this post has done for me.
Seemingly, with age comes tears. I cry several times a day now, what with the world as it is. I have 2 spine surgeries scheduled in 2026; I cry from fear; I cry from exhaustion; I cry with hope. In the end, hope keeps winning. So I know that Christ exists. Lord have mercy; Christ have mercy. Pray ceaselessly, amid the tears. Thank you for naming the greater truth.
Do tears of joy or just emotional tears that come from hearing beautiful music or seeing beautiful art also contain cortisol? I produce those emotional tears so easily.
Such a beautiful answer to us all. I love your poetry in these lines. “As I’ve said before, I don’t know why grief’s delivery system is so wildly inefficient, why it seems to drop off all its packages at once, regardless of when they were shipped”. Thank you! Here’s to more cortisol release!
I also LOVED those lines: such a strong visual!
I can’t tell you how often that very thought stops me from doing something. If there’s a possibility I might see someone who’s been kind to me or who I’ve loved or has loved me, I am afraid I will start crying and not stop. My brain knows better because I am good at laughing at myself, but it is a powerful deterrent. I’m so grateful for your voice over recent years. And your honest heart most of all.
The grief is always just below the surface. I know the tears are healing, but I didn’t know that cortisol makes healing tears a scientific fact! Cool. ❤️✌🏻
Oh I needed to hear this! who knew - a cortisol connection! i attended my church’s Blue Christmas worship this week and the tears kept rolling down my face. i took 4 packs of tissues and used 2, and hoped not to cause consternation in pastor. But I think he already knows about cortisol😍
How lucky we are that you share this experience. Prayers continue today, Nadia.
I love the writing about tears...I've had tears around pain...and more wonderfully, tears roll freely when I am talking about or experiencing something deeply...and I really don't give a shit what anybody else thinks about it...Bach...a beautiful sunset... forbidden or unforbidden love...the tears roll and I smile...
Crying is something I can not do and wish I could. No matter how sad … no tears ever…. My Mother was the same. So sometimes I just scream!
Thank you! As someone who has 50 years of stuffed emotions from being told since I was barely older than a toddler to stop crying and pull myself together, I have the same fear. And asked my counselor this very question not even a month ago. But joy only comes if we let sorrow in as well, so I’ve been allowing a few tears to escape as I begin to feel again. I still feel my body fight against it, but the Lord has been kind to allow me small doses of tears as I re-acclimate to allowing my feelings to be felt.
The first time I visited a silent monastery in Cambridge, MA many years ago (I was not religious), I asked the monk during a group session why there were so many darn crucifixes on the walls -- so depressing, I said. He said that it was because life is a lot more like the crucifixion than the resurrection. I've never forgotten that. I used to never be able to cry, now I cry all the time. I've thought more recently of my tears as being a bridge between the two. Beautiful post, thank you. ❤️
I was reading a book with a sad ending. I cried. Nothing unusual for me. But this cry was more like sobbing. A lot was going on in my life and I realized the book had opened the flood gate. I needed a good cry. It has happened before but it’s been a while. I realized I’d been holding a lot in - being strong and steady. What a great release that cry was. Thanks Nadia
Tears are awesomely gracefilled drops in our lives
Dearest Nadia: Thank you for the reminder that pain and grief are as normal as comfort and joy. I've been dealing with pain in my right arm for several weeks (a tendon and muscle problem) and there are times when I feel angry because the times available for giving that arm complete rest are the times I would normally be sewing or knitting. (You will notice, of course, that I don't complain about not being able to do much by way if housework! 😁)
I've had a few surgeries in my life. Although none were to eradicate cancer, I'm familiar with the pain that comes in the healing process. I thought of if as bunches of nerve endings waking up really cranky because they'd been knocked out and then crowded (from normal swelling) so bad they couldn't flex. I offer that in the hope that it works as an option for how you could reframe your thoughts when the fear comes. But I realize that fear (like cancer, like grief, like anger) pretty much makes its own rules, you know, I'm not going to be upset if that doesn't work for you.
So I will just shut up now and let you be you. Feel what you feel, even if it seems ugly, because those special tears will wash the crud out. We're with you.
At 78 I'm just now learning to let myself cry... obstinance, being told to "grow up" because crying was just an attention seeking ruse, like showing off... and lots of other "stuff" has made crying tough for me.
I cannot thank you enough for the healing this post has done for me.
Bless you and your struggle. And thanks again.
Seemingly, with age comes tears. I cry several times a day now, what with the world as it is. I have 2 spine surgeries scheduled in 2026; I cry from fear; I cry from exhaustion; I cry with hope. In the end, hope keeps winning. So I know that Christ exists. Lord have mercy; Christ have mercy. Pray ceaselessly, amid the tears. Thank you for naming the greater truth.
Being one of those people who cry when I am "very anything " I have had a lot of practice at crying. I can attest, it helps more than you can imagine.
Do tears of joy or just emotional tears that come from hearing beautiful music or seeing beautiful art also contain cortisol? I produce those emotional tears so easily.