My husband fell on October 14. I spent most of the last month in the hospital than at home. He died on November 6. One of the best gifts he gave me was forcing me to be present each day and not worry too much about the bigger picture. That was particularly helpful on November 5 and 6. Due to a now lessened income I turned off the cable, and I find myself enjoying silence more, playing with the doggies more, listening to more music, taking more walks, simply not being sucked into the world drama as much. (which is hard because I’ve always been a news junkie. ) I still care deeply, but realize I don’t have the capacity. So I’m trying to focus on each day and the people who enter it, and I’ll try to make my difference here in my little corner of Grand Junction Colorado. My soul already feels better.
Always grateful for your writing Nadia. Thank you. ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief upon grief can be too much. May you continue to find peace in the quiet, in your doggies and in the presence of God. There is wisdom in this for all of us.
Comforts to you Sally on his passing, and your journey. My first thought is that it seems his spirit is guiding you still to find ways to remain in the present, and then find what happens. . I’m reading a book “when things fall apart” (Pema Chodron) and that’s the basic theme throughout her book…. Keep going into the present vs avoiding the pain or trying to create the happiness, and see what happens. You just shared what happens for all of us to learn. Thank you so much and you taught me a great lesson. Where is my focus? Peace.
I am so sorry for your loss, Sally. Keep the TV off, listen to your dogs’ wisdom and play. And when you meed to, cry or rage or throw something or clean out a drawer. Whatever helps. 🥰
Nadia - I've been thinking about this a lot - particularly after coordinating a local post-card operation for Ms. Harris. I'm also a member of my local ELCA church council. At a Council meeting two weeks ago, I noted that the purpose of media is to generate profit. With the possible exception of PBS (because of how it is funded) every media channel (regardless of media type) is designed to influence and 'hook' you, and is driven by clicks, ratings and advertising dollars. Media is not altruistic - it is profit driven. If Rupert Murdock didn't make money from Fox, he'd sell it and buy something else. So, what I told Council I'd do is look for ways to talk across the aisle without either yelling or "I told you so." I'm developing a list that includes: Krista Tippet's Civil Conversations Project, the Better Arguments project from the American Jewish committee, and the Braver Angels project. Our goal is to get tools, get trained and hold community seminars b/c neither side is going anywhere and if there is a shit-show ahead, we'd be better off having tools in our hands rather than clubs.... Oh, and also, we are focusing on local service orgs because Fed programs are likely to be cut and state programs that rely on Fed matching dollars will likely face a shortfall as Fed money evaporates. That leaves us - we are the safety net - and America has been here before - though it still totally sucks. Yet another reason to be able to talk to each other constructively.
Well said Jim and I’d add the discussion book “Crucial Conversations” to learn more about how to have small group dialogue even in and across religious small groups. The Netflix documentary “Join or Die” based on “Bowling alone” book is also a wonderful tool for snack group dialogue. Also “Breathing under Water” (Richard Rohr). The irony is it begins without hierarchies, and interactive, and we are still stratified without those small groups, super clubs, bowling clubs….
I, too, am not watching the news, or scrolling through things that stress me out. Each day I make a list of things I am deeply grateful for, and pray for the safety of those in harms way with this new election. I feel “the disturbance in the force” and I just keep praying……
That too. But I once , for example, loved drugs, alcohol, and numbness. I so much loved the world that I thought I was doing it a favor by staying away: “First, do no harm.” That seemed loving, but it was not. The next right thing was to do the NEXT right thing that, eventually, led me to begin to decipher what was loving and what was not. Peace, Dwight Lee Wolter.
In looking at today, even as all the shitty thoughts seem to pile into my mind, I quote the prayer of Andrew Forrest- Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, remember me, have mercy upon me, Father save me from myself please .
Even this moment, before each of you, I confess my failure, my falling, and when I post a thought, please know I point no fingers, nor do I lay blame on any who may read these thoughts, because I in my best of moments am truly jacked up, I am truly thankful to each of you, and for you who are willing to share victories as well as defeats . Much love.
My prayer is that we would all clean the lenses through which we search for Truth (thanks, Jake Owensby). Some of the red letters of the NT are difficult to decipher…but plenty of them are wildly simple. There are not too many ways to distort “Love your neighbor, love your enemies”…and yet, here we are. Let us return to our early days of Sunday School felt dioramas, if we must. But, please, dear Jesus, write your signature across our hearts (thank you, Brennan).
Love your enemies. I'm trying very hard to pray for our president elect even though, and especially because, I view him as my enemy and an enemy of the people. Some days all I can do is pray for the grace to be willing to pray for him.
May Hope and Joy welcome you to this new day. May health and strength be yours. May life be sweeter with preciousness and delight. May all manner of things be well. Amen.
"Thanksgiving--gratitude--is Advent's advent. How can we resist being generous when we consider all we have been blessed with? The Charity called for in December can indeed become burdensome if we forget this... Thanksgiving transforms the call to care, share, and give into something truly joyful." --Street
‘Home for the Holidays’ 1995 movie w Holly Hunter … with my fundamental Baptist background where closet skeletons have triple padlocks, this was a breath …
My husband fell on October 14. I spent most of the last month in the hospital than at home. He died on November 6. One of the best gifts he gave me was forcing me to be present each day and not worry too much about the bigger picture. That was particularly helpful on November 5 and 6. Due to a now lessened income I turned off the cable, and I find myself enjoying silence more, playing with the doggies more, listening to more music, taking more walks, simply not being sucked into the world drama as much. (which is hard because I’ve always been a news junkie. ) I still care deeply, but realize I don’t have the capacity. So I’m trying to focus on each day and the people who enter it, and I’ll try to make my difference here in my little corner of Grand Junction Colorado. My soul already feels better.
Always grateful for your writing Nadia. Thank you. ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief upon grief can be too much. May you continue to find peace in the quiet, in your doggies and in the presence of God. There is wisdom in this for all of us.
Sending a quiet and very warm hug to you. ✨
Sending love and hugs to you, Sally. Praying for peace and comfort, for gentle days. 🙏💓
Comforts to you Sally on his passing, and your journey. My first thought is that it seems his spirit is guiding you still to find ways to remain in the present, and then find what happens. . I’m reading a book “when things fall apart” (Pema Chodron) and that’s the basic theme throughout her book…. Keep going into the present vs avoiding the pain or trying to create the happiness, and see what happens. You just shared what happens for all of us to learn. Thank you so much and you taught me a great lesson. Where is my focus? Peace.
I am so sorry for your loss, Sally. Keep the TV off, listen to your dogs’ wisdom and play. And when you meed to, cry or rage or throw something or clean out a drawer. Whatever helps. 🥰
And all of the people said “Amen” Thank you.
Chop wood haul water. Before shit, during shit, and after shit. Chop wood haul water.
Nadia - I've been thinking about this a lot - particularly after coordinating a local post-card operation for Ms. Harris. I'm also a member of my local ELCA church council. At a Council meeting two weeks ago, I noted that the purpose of media is to generate profit. With the possible exception of PBS (because of how it is funded) every media channel (regardless of media type) is designed to influence and 'hook' you, and is driven by clicks, ratings and advertising dollars. Media is not altruistic - it is profit driven. If Rupert Murdock didn't make money from Fox, he'd sell it and buy something else. So, what I told Council I'd do is look for ways to talk across the aisle without either yelling or "I told you so." I'm developing a list that includes: Krista Tippet's Civil Conversations Project, the Better Arguments project from the American Jewish committee, and the Braver Angels project. Our goal is to get tools, get trained and hold community seminars b/c neither side is going anywhere and if there is a shit-show ahead, we'd be better off having tools in our hands rather than clubs.... Oh, and also, we are focusing on local service orgs because Fed programs are likely to be cut and state programs that rely on Fed matching dollars will likely face a shortfall as Fed money evaporates. That leaves us - we are the safety net - and America has been here before - though it still totally sucks. Yet another reason to be able to talk to each other constructively.
You are so right.
"The medium is the message." Marshall McLuhan wrote this in 1964. Still applies today.
Thank you for this and for the resources. It is an important focus. We can create love even in the midst of so much hateful rhetoric.
Wonderful suggestions Jim! I’m on an ELCA committee, too. Tell me more about how can we collaborate and synergize on some of these ideas?
Wow!!
Well said Jim and I’d add the discussion book “Crucial Conversations” to learn more about how to have small group dialogue even in and across religious small groups. The Netflix documentary “Join or Die” based on “Bowling alone” book is also a wonderful tool for snack group dialogue. Also “Breathing under Water” (Richard Rohr). The irony is it begins without hierarchies, and interactive, and we are still stratified without those small groups, super clubs, bowling clubs….
I, too, am not watching the news, or scrolling through things that stress me out. Each day I make a list of things I am deeply grateful for, and pray for the safety of those in harms way with this new election. I feel “the disturbance in the force” and I just keep praying……
same.
I love this and will be adding those in harms way to my prayers too❤️
Me too, and I'm adding those in harm's way in the world so I won't fret too much. Great way to put it.
“Doing the next right thing” is one of my favorite recovery mantras. Thanks, Nadia! - Dwight Lee Wolter
Or the next loving thing...
That too. But I once , for example, loved drugs, alcohol, and numbness. I so much loved the world that I thought I was doing it a favor by staying away: “First, do no harm.” That seemed loving, but it was not. The next right thing was to do the NEXT right thing that, eventually, led me to begin to decipher what was loving and what was not. Peace, Dwight Lee Wolter.
Addiction was the best "Love" we knew at the time. I hope love looks different for you now- I learn about it constantly.
A long and winding road.
In looking at today, even as all the shitty thoughts seem to pile into my mind, I quote the prayer of Andrew Forrest- Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, remember me, have mercy upon me, Father save me from myself please .
Thanks. That’s a lot of “me” in that prayer.
Even this moment, before each of you, I confess my failure, my falling, and when I post a thought, please know I point no fingers, nor do I lay blame on any who may read these thoughts, because I in my best of moments am truly jacked up, I am truly thankful to each of you, and for you who are willing to share victories as well as defeats . Much love.
My prayer is that we would all clean the lenses through which we search for Truth (thanks, Jake Owensby). Some of the red letters of the NT are difficult to decipher…but plenty of them are wildly simple. There are not too many ways to distort “Love your neighbor, love your enemies”…and yet, here we are. Let us return to our early days of Sunday School felt dioramas, if we must. But, please, dear Jesus, write your signature across our hearts (thank you, Brennan).
Love your enemies. I'm trying very hard to pray for our president elect even though, and especially because, I view him as my enemy and an enemy of the people. Some days all I can do is pray for the grace to be willing to pray for him.
I’m working on that part myself, Anna. Super hard.
Super hard!
Anna, so well-put. Some days the best I can do is to pray not to wish evil upon others, because hatred is corrosive.
"Thy will be done" keeps it in perspective for me.
♥️
May Hope and Joy welcome you to this new day. May health and strength be yours. May life be sweeter with preciousness and delight. May all manner of things be well. Amen.
Prayer: let me know that you are God and I am not. It all starts from there.
amen.
Dearest Nadia:
We all have work to do. Here’s how, from Street:
"Thanksgiving--gratitude--is Advent's advent. How can we resist being generous when we consider all we have been blessed with? The Charity called for in December can indeed become burdensome if we forget this... Thanksgiving transforms the call to care, share, and give into something truly joyful." --Street
A friend gave me a bracelet with that engraved on it
Teach me what is mine to do and yank me away from what is not.
Amen!!
Thanks for praying such a relevant heartfelt prayer that spoke to my own heart and need to look away from all the bullshit.
‘Home for the Holidays’ 1995 movie w Holly Hunter … with my fundamental Baptist background where closet skeletons have triple padlocks, this was a breath …
You are not alone in your feelings Nadia . . . nor in your prayers.