“If it is to Almighty God and not almighty us that truth of other people is revealed, it means we can stop telling ourselves stories about the inner thoughts and hidden motivations of our friends and our siblings…”
How often do I presume I have a clear understanding of others’ thoughts, but how frequently do I complain that others do not understand mine? Lord, have mercy.
Just this: can’t find the words to express how desperately grateful I am to listen to a preacher so clearly also preaching to herself. My marriage is falling apart. Going forward, I am looking at a lot of letting go. I try to grieve a little bit everyday, so I can be spacious enough to hold grace and forgiveness, for both my wife and myself. I couldn’t bear easy answers at this point. So simply: thank you, for this sermon that feels like oxygen when I struggle to breathe.
The person that it's hardest for me to forgive is me . . . and it hurts to not forgive myself and also to not be forgiven. And I don't know if what I just wrote comes from humility or pride, but I think it's probably pride . . . and that hurts too.
Should those, i.e. parents and family, who hurt, violated, betrayed me when I was an innocent child ever cop to it and feel some kind of appropriate burden of guilt about what they did (unlikely) AND seek out some kind of healing path and spiritual redemption in light of that (super unlikely)... I rest easy knowing that's between them and God, not them and me.
My favorite childhood trauma therapist Patrick Teahan actually posted about "forgiveness" on Instagram earlier this morning, and highlighted an important truth that I myself have lived, thanks to great therapy and a spiritual life: It's a false dichotomy that our choices are to EITHER live our lives in a disabling state of bitterness/resentment OR "forgive" (in the conventional interpersonal sense) our abusers, especially those who were supposed to care for and protect us.
He closed his thoughts with "After good enough healing (this takes considerable time and effort), we move on to losing interest in our trauma story. It's not the idea of forgiveness, it's more like we've moved on into a fuller and happier life."
I was lucky enough to get into excellent trauma therapy 23 years ago (and into Sacred Harp singing at the same time). After getting free from my abusive family of origin and committing to taking responsibility for my own healing/recovery path, it's indeed the case that I am long liberated from a life of depression, heaviness, bitterness, implosion -- and usually pretty bored with my trauma/parents/family story.
I know that I -- in my absence or in my presence -- do not stand between any family member and their ability to access spiritual and/or therapeutic and/or educational resources (or God's love) that they might need... in the one-in-a-million chance they ever perceive themselves to actually be in need of any such thing.
Wonderful sermon, much truth here. Personally God’s forgiveness wasn’t real for me until I was able trust in that forgiveness enough to forgive myself, which I found to be the hardest forgiveness of all.
I am the pastor of a small church in Maine, and I am always uplifted and challenged by your words. I am so very grateful for you and the gifts you share. Some weeks they keep me going. Other weeks, they remind me of the message of grace that you so ably share and which I so wish to share. Thank you for following the road that God has put you on.... you have no idea what a blessing you are to many.
Dear Nadia, I often have trouble relating to Biblical and traditional Christian teachings, but you always take the words beyond the obvious to a place that makes sense to me. Thank you for that. This is beautiful.
The Deacon at my church and I were chatting about someone yesterday who had been hurtful years ago and I haven’t seen in 2 decades but he also had an amazing gift for prayer and pastoral ministry. As I wondered if I had truly forgiven him for the hurt and let it go, theDeacon let me know this person had been going thru some serious shit in the last few years. My first thought was “Well, what can we do for him?” and I realized that I had forgiven. It’s kind of my litmus test. I know there are others I still have to work on. (But with truly toxic people, I still keep my distance.)
How is it that you consistently read my head and so gracefully assure me that I’m loved no matter what? Thank you for this and for so many times when you, well, just pin it down and open it up at the same time.
“Of course God loves the lost, the disobedient, the fearful.
“Who else is there?”
—Street
“If it is to Almighty God and not almighty us that truth of other people is revealed, it means we can stop telling ourselves stories about the inner thoughts and hidden motivations of our friends and our siblings…”
How often do I presume I have a clear understanding of others’ thoughts, but how frequently do I complain that others do not understand mine? Lord, have mercy.
Just this: can’t find the words to express how desperately grateful I am to listen to a preacher so clearly also preaching to herself. My marriage is falling apart. Going forward, I am looking at a lot of letting go. I try to grieve a little bit everyday, so I can be spacious enough to hold grace and forgiveness, for both my wife and myself. I couldn’t bear easy answers at this point. So simply: thank you, for this sermon that feels like oxygen when I struggle to breathe.
The person that it's hardest for me to forgive is me . . . and it hurts to not forgive myself and also to not be forgiven. And I don't know if what I just wrote comes from humility or pride, but I think it's probably pride . . . and that hurts too.
Should those, i.e. parents and family, who hurt, violated, betrayed me when I was an innocent child ever cop to it and feel some kind of appropriate burden of guilt about what they did (unlikely) AND seek out some kind of healing path and spiritual redemption in light of that (super unlikely)... I rest easy knowing that's between them and God, not them and me.
My favorite childhood trauma therapist Patrick Teahan actually posted about "forgiveness" on Instagram earlier this morning, and highlighted an important truth that I myself have lived, thanks to great therapy and a spiritual life: It's a false dichotomy that our choices are to EITHER live our lives in a disabling state of bitterness/resentment OR "forgive" (in the conventional interpersonal sense) our abusers, especially those who were supposed to care for and protect us.
He closed his thoughts with "After good enough healing (this takes considerable time and effort), we move on to losing interest in our trauma story. It's not the idea of forgiveness, it's more like we've moved on into a fuller and happier life."
I was lucky enough to get into excellent trauma therapy 23 years ago (and into Sacred Harp singing at the same time). After getting free from my abusive family of origin and committing to taking responsibility for my own healing/recovery path, it's indeed the case that I am long liberated from a life of depression, heaviness, bitterness, implosion -- and usually pretty bored with my trauma/parents/family story.
I know that I -- in my absence or in my presence -- do not stand between any family member and their ability to access spiritual and/or therapeutic and/or educational resources (or God's love) that they might need... in the one-in-a-million chance they ever perceive themselves to actually be in need of any such thing.
Wonderful sermon, much truth here. Personally God’s forgiveness wasn’t real for me until I was able trust in that forgiveness enough to forgive myself, which I found to be the hardest forgiveness of all.
“Because we can’t just let people off the hook, like that Jesus. We have protocols for these kinds of things.”
…but the sinner is always someone else, never ourselves. Evangelicalism 101.
Dear Nadia,
I am the pastor of a small church in Maine, and I am always uplifted and challenged by your words. I am so very grateful for you and the gifts you share. Some weeks they keep me going. Other weeks, they remind me of the message of grace that you so ably share and which I so wish to share. Thank you for following the road that God has put you on.... you have no idea what a blessing you are to many.
Dear Nadia, I often have trouble relating to Biblical and traditional Christian teachings, but you always take the words beyond the obvious to a place that makes sense to me. Thank you for that. This is beautiful.
I love the honesty here, how we make assumptions then go on with our day feeling justified, never considering how wrong we might be.
The Deacon at my church and I were chatting about someone yesterday who had been hurtful years ago and I haven’t seen in 2 decades but he also had an amazing gift for prayer and pastoral ministry. As I wondered if I had truly forgiven him for the hurt and let it go, theDeacon let me know this person had been going thru some serious shit in the last few years. My first thought was “Well, what can we do for him?” and I realized that I had forgiven. It’s kind of my litmus test. I know there are others I still have to work on. (But with truly toxic people, I still keep my distance.)
How is it that you consistently read my head and so gracefully assure me that I’m loved no matter what? Thank you for this and for so many times when you, well, just pin it down and open it up at the same time.
"Be a goldfish." ~Ted Lasso. Amen.
YES, ouch, and thank you.
This was exactly what I needed to hear tonight. Thank you, Nadia.
Forgiveness – Jesus’ insistence that no one’s value can be calculated by the sum total of their worst moments
Wow. Thank you for this. ♥️