Just for fun: Doing the Spiritual Dishes with Rainn Wilson

(or is it AI?)

I BET EVEN JESUS DID THE DISHES SOMETIMES

AI image of “Jesus doing dishes”

Click red triangle to hear an important message from “Nadia”:

Hi. It’s me, Nadia Bowles-Weeber. Bless you, my readers.

When I’m not ministering to people behind bars or baking lemon squares with my new husband Eric, you’ll often find me at a 12-step meeting with other reprobates and/or reading Bible stories from my favorite translations: the New Colorado Bible or the Lutherans 4 Peace Bible or the Progressive Colorado Peace Bible.

The other day, while making brownies for meth-addicted and criminally insane Denverites, I was wondering to myself about who might have done the dishes in the Bible stories.

I bet you everything it was Jesus. I bet one of the other apostles would want to do the dishes but Jesus would probably jump up from washing someone’s feet and tell some kind of self-effacing joke like, “It is better for a foot washer than a fisherman to wash dishes in the kingdom of heaven” Galilean laughter would then abound.

I bet Peter would be like “But you’re the son of God! Please, do something more important! Turn this kool aid into cabernet or heal some guy’s emphysema or raise my cat Speckles from the dead!”

But Jesus, would roll up the sleeves of his tunic and scrub the skillets.

________________________________________________

Let’s pause here.

You might have guessed that something was a teensy bit off with The Corners today. And you would be right about that. Because, believe it or not, the above column was not written by me.

Almost. But not quite.

You see, the beginning of today’s essay was written by the all new Nadia Bolz-Weber AI, called, cleverly, Chat Nad-IA™.

Here’s TV’s Rainn Wilson to tell you more!

(click red triangle below to listen to a message from Rainn)

Hi. My name is Rainn Wilson. I’m an actor and an author (Soul Boom: Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution) and I’m guest-writing this week’s substack while Nadia takes some well-needed time off for God knows what.

I am a F.O.N. (friend of Nadia) and also a huge friend of this new A.I. wave that’s transforming the modern, technological world. With my deep connections to Silicon Valley, I personally funded (with my TV residual money), a team of top-notch programmers to come up with an A.I. that would mirror all the home-spun, hard-hitting, whimsical ministerial recovery wisdom that we’ve all grown to know and love over the years.

Every single one of Nadia’s books, articles, sermons and talks (and, secretly, even her personal 12-step journals!) were entered into the all-new Chat Nad-IA database. Her tone and voice were analyzed and broken down and then fed into a server the size of the Astrodome.

At this point, to be quite frank, we don’t even need real Nadia anymore.

And this is a good thing. Because, frankly, we can do better. Chat Nad-IA™ can write a Substack column every single day if we wanted it to. In fact, I bet it could come up with an article just as salty and wise and vulnerable as the real Nadia herself, every hour on the hour until the end of time!

Just look at some of the titles Chat Nad-IA™ came up with in 2.1 seconds for future Substacks!

A Pineapple Upside Down cake for my Unhoused Cousin Carl

Denver is the Perfect Location for the Kingdom of God on Earth

I once got as drunk as a skunk (with an actual skunk!)

I put a Key to My Heart inside a pudding I made for Jesus

And, finally,

Why I’ll never get a tattoo of a cross on my Buttock

The possibilities are endless!

All the home-spun profundity of the real Nadia, without her having to do any work. Freeing up her time to allow her to focus on what she really wants to do: beekeeping and wordle.

With the upcoming Chat Nad-IA™ app on your phone, you’ll feel like you have your own Bolz-Weber riding along with you - spinning parables, inspiring quotes and wise anecdotes from your pocket, 24-7.

Please stay tuned to “The Corners” for more information about Chat Nad-IA as well as the new virtual AIs for other spiritual influencers such as Brene Brown, Annie LaMott, Kate Bowler and Marjorie Taylor-Greene.

Or? Better yet. For similar material, subscribe and follow my new podcast: Soul Boom (with Rainn Wilson) for profound and occasionally silly conversations on spirituality, psychology and the deepest human experience. We’d love to have you join the conversation!

Look for the episode of Soul Boom that features Nadia soon (maybe June-ish)!

Thanks, Nadia for letting me be a part of “The Corners!”

I sincerely hope that if any AI takes over the world, it’s your AI.