102 Comments

You know what helps improve (and stabilize) my mood the most? My psych meds. Sometimes my body doesn't respond well or fully to the dopamine hacks. My serotonin receptors need a boost. So, as faithfully as a monk at the daily office, I take those fucking pills morning and night. It's only with a doctor approved, pharmaceutical mood boost am I able to consistently (well, mostly) find joy in music, nature, breathing, etc...

Expand full comment

As I was reading this article, the whole thing resonated with a single theme for me today: Sabbath.

I am currently down the shore ("at the beach" for non-Philly/Jersey folks) on my annual self-created retreat. For most people I see in my daily life, with a few life-giving exceptions like Lectio and prayer groups that meet online, I fall off the face of the earth for a week. I don't answer phone calls, emails, DMs, or texts unless absolutely necessary.

This retreat is a week where I do nothing except take long distraction-free strolls on the beach, sit for hours on end watching birds, sunsets, changing tides, and an occasional pod of dolphins swimming by from my bay-front porch, lean hard into guided meditations on the Headspace app, journal, pray, write or exercise if it feels right, pray some more, read frivolous books, cry about shit that I haven't had tears for until a random much-needed moment of release finds me in this safe space, cook some super involved bomb-ass meals that I don't have time for in my daily life, and try new recipes I'm too afraid to fail at in my regular world - because when I'm happier I'm also braver.

I'm on day 3 of 7, and I can already feel my dopamine line-graph shooting exponentially upwards.

Sabbath is SO important and we're SO shitty at it in this Western world. Thank you, Nadia (and Nadia's sister), for this amazing reminder.

Expand full comment

"I do not naturally have a good mood, some of us have to work for that shit." I would like this emblazoned on a t-shirt.

Expand full comment
May 16, 2023Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

What a brilliant professor, compassionate and challenging her students to think outside of the proverbial box!

Expand full comment

At heart, I *am* a positive person. I often sing in my dreams and awake singing or whistling. In 1995/6, I discovered keeping a gratitude journal. I only did it a couple of weeks but it made me look around and actually realize I am blessed more than 95%+ of the worlds population. I have a warm/cool home, food, clothes, transport, entertainment and many in my ciuntry, state, and town do not have this.

I had polio at age 4 months, my daddy died about the same time. My physical therapist told me years ago to have a "pity party" once a week to relieve physical stress; I was holding in physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual stress and it was causing serious physical pain. I usually managed about 5-10 minutes then I got weary of listening to myself. I need to begin again.

Your sister is obviously a caring, concerned person, not only a teacher. Covid quarantine did many of us in. I like her!

Expand full comment

This is like the 5th chapter of my “the error on my birth certificate” saga. I won’t bore everyone with all the details. I’ll simply say that, instead of “male” on that first document to...well, document my life, it should have said, not female, but “intersex.” Of course, way back in 1951, no one knew what the heck that was, and even if they did, no one would guess that I was such a person and for sure wouldn’t know what to do about it. Now, at last, after my thinking for several years that if I could get estrogen treatment to help me “get in touch” with my true, female self, that my decades-long depression might lift and I would be much happier. Well, though I didn’t think it could ever happen to me; there were so many barriers; I am now indeed getting this hormone treatment and, sure enough, my mood has improved. I feel better, and my motivation for doing things and enjoying things I used to love but lost interest in, is all turning around. Yay.

Expand full comment
May 16, 2023Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

Driving to the beach - about half an hour’s drive- and listening to my daughter’s playlist...

Then that magic moment when that sparkling sea appears.

Expand full comment
founding
May 16, 2023Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

Many things, but right now it’s reading something that sparks a feeling of being known, understood, and not alone - like, for example, your post. Even more so when something seemingly silly pops in my mind, like RuPaul’s song “Supermodel” coming to mind as I read your comment about having to “work for that shit” (a good mood).

God bless your sister. God bless you!

Work it girl!

Expand full comment
May 17, 2023·edited May 17, 2023Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

The thing that is now helping me the most is something that I've heard about for years and always thought, "That's the lamest shit I've ever heard in my life," and then never investigated because, well, contempt prior to investigation always portends such great outcomes for me. And even as I write this, there's still a little part of me that is cringing. But here it goes...

As I wake in the morning and before I even open my eyes, I say to myself, "This is the day the Creator has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it."

I know, right?

But as I do this, I feel like I'm a happy, guileless, indestructible five-year-old boy who is so excited to go out into the world. It really is the most extraordinary thing. I love starting my day this way.

Expand full comment

This morning I was supposed to go to the funeral of a woman who died recently— 106 years old. (I had a medical emergency on the way and missed her funeral.). She was in church most Sundays sitting near the front on the other side. She was my constant witness to faith and prayer and I thank God for her life. She was silently there; always. She was in church for more than 1/20th of Christianity.

Expand full comment

Thank you for that brief view into your hymn sing, and all of this. The background singers in the Bill Withers video were flashing me back to high school and were unexpectedly delightful to me. And, I mean, Bill... when is he not delightful?

I spent this Mothers Day not with my own kids, but traveling to Buffalo to sing with my choir at a memorial gathering for the 10 people slain in the mass shooting there a year ago. Which some might consider an odd way to spend a Mothers Day, but I was reminded that the whole exercise began with Julia Ward Howe as an anti-war holiday and so to sing and pray for us all to stop killing each other actually seemed perfect.

Our repertoire is entirely Negro spirituals and gospel, and I will confess, I'm not a believer. But I don't think you need to be a believer to feel the power of that music to lift people up when they are lower than human beings should ever be forced to be. There is yearning in it, but also a fierce faith and hope and belief in eventual triumph. Every time, whether it is a performance or just a practice in the social hall at the church on a Wednesday night, it lifts me right up.

Another choir that lifts me right up every time is the Resistance Revival Chorus. I put this on and sing at the top of my lungs and everything is better. I encourage everyone to do this, daily if you have to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TbDPwA09Bc

Expand full comment
May 17, 2023Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

Hmm how delicious is your sister. Right now I don't like people. What improves my mood is watering 100 perennials we just planted. They glisten, grow over night, raise their heads to the sun and respond to my praises. No comments, sass, backtalk or opinions. They just are so happy to spread their Beauty. So much better than humans right now.

Expand full comment
May 17, 2023Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

What has improved my mood: learning that I could decide to be happy—then doing so. And, realizing that daily physical exercise is essential to my emotional well-being. I am a different person after instituting these two changes. I wish I had done so much earlier in my life, but I am so happy with the results.

Expand full comment

I love that. Pie Sing. When I was younger mom, my brothers, and I went to a Foursquare church, and dad went to a local baptist church. Every month, the Baptist church held a Singspiration, and I usually sang a solo or 2 accapella. The whole event was fun. I remember one guy used to whistle songs, and that always made me happy.

Mom was born in September. So, of course, she has her alarm(s) set to September by Earth, Wind, and Fire. I smile when I hear it, and kinda silly dancing across the living room to turn off the alarm, ah fun times.

I enjoy walks around my neighborhood. I’m looking forward to exploring the forest that’s right by our apartment in Ruokolahti, Finland and to picking blueberries, maybe making some muffins or pies.

I love how my fiancé can make me laugh. He says some of the funniest things with a completely neutral, straight face, and it makes it even more hilarious. Since Finnish often emphasizes the first syllable, the first time Sam said apostles, I thought he was saying apple sauce. We were sending videos back and forth on Skype. Anyways, we were talking about the apostles and which ones were married, something like that. So, I’m watching Sam’s video and I’m completely confused like, “Why is he talking about apple sauce?! I didn’t even know apple sauce could get married!” Then I realized “ooooh ok...apostles.” I told him about that, and he chanted happily just to shit with me, “apple sauce Peter”.

I enjoy seeing his smile when I say very confident, diva-ish things:

Honey, did you notice I just washed my hair and I look incredibly cute today?

This week I told him, “Honey, I’m getting my hair cut on Tuesday. I’m telling you now so that on Wednesday you can tell me that I look cute.”

We can’t have pets at our apartment here in Montana. Down the block, there’s a cat named Herbert, and I just love him. I purposely sometimes walk that direction hoping Herbert is out. Herbert gets lots of scritches and we have quite the confabs; it’s delightful. Hopefully, I’ll meet some furry friends in Finland.

Expand full comment

This past week, simply listening to Minnesota songbirds welcome spring. And always hearing Canadian Geese talk to each other as they fly.

Expand full comment
May 17, 2023Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

I have had to learn to find and focus on good things when I'm down. I accidently bid a grave yard shift job, and I made myself find 3 things that were good about it, including the fact that I would find out if I COULD work nights. Turns out, not only COULD I work nights, I love working nights.

Expand full comment