I’ve been feeling this so much. I had to log off of everything and unfollow everyone for a few days just to catch my breath; the shame spiral was suffocating me. I’m realizing now that so much of this is embedded in my ego, a way of perceiving myself as a savior, as someone big enough to fix all of these things, as someone who ignores the small thing I’m actually called to because I think of myself as someone who can tackle something much bigger. It’s a great paradox, that we can heal the world by doing something that seems small and insignificant, and yet it seems to be the only way forward. Thank you for this, and for this reminder that we were never made to carry and hold every single thing, and that faithfulness can mean just carrying the thing that’s ours.
So true for me too. While God is calling me to slow down, be, rest in God, love, dwell instead on God. I am trying to appease my ego that says I can never do enough, and that wants to be called to bigger, more concrete things. "It’s a great paradox, that we can heal the world by doing something that seems small and insignificant, and yet it seems to be the only way forward." is exactly it. I feel most called to Racial Justice and Climate Justice, and I am ill equipped to make major changes in either area. I can only do the small things my knob and tub circuits can handle, and I will do them better if I accept, rather than fight, my call.
Totally agree- this is a great view. And sometimes all I have the bandwidth for, water in my bucket for, are the people closest to me, to give them a fire break from the storms in my own head.
Also, a gentle reminder to anyone who needs it (myself being at the top of that list): Not only is it okay to do only what is yours to do, but it is also okay to feel joy and celebrate the positive things happening in your own life right now. You are not obligated to reach emotional equilibrium with the news headlines, nor will anyone benefit at all if you hold yourself to that standard.
Bea, we talk about this in our suicide survivors group all the time. There is this sense of guilt we all carry at being joyful when there is suffering.
As an electrician (really I am!), I hear this loud and clear. Sometimes when one circuit is overloaded, you can shift part of the load to another circuit, but once the service (or MAIN breaker) is overloaded, there is nothing you can do except find ways to save power, unplug unneeded loads, and maybe wait for a time (or season) when less power is being used by other things. Otherwise you need to upgrade the whole service-- and that gets expensive. Love you, Nadia.
The kind of work God usually calls you to is the kind of work (a) that you need most to do and (b) that the world most needs to have done... The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.
Thank you. Inhale. Exhale. Also reminds me of Jen Hatmakers theory that if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no. Let someone else live out their calling, don’t hoard opportunities. Similar vibe.
Thank you. From the core of who I am thank you. I am so empty right now it feels like there is no more bucket and it's just me standing there trying to make water from nothing. This has given me a space to take a breath. Thank you.
Thanks for linking to this in your recent post. I needed to read it.
I have caught some flak from friends recently because I haven’t been posting or vocal about the various wars and tragedies and crises that have been going on around the world. But my body and mind, spirit and soul, digestive system and nervous system, tendons and muscles were all completely devastated in the last two years because of some personal injuries and a mental illness in my family. I have been doing my best.
Thank you for so aptly expressing what I’ve been thinking and feeling. It is too much to hold. We are not God and we cannot consume a continuous diet of catastrophic news without poisoning ourselves, or as you put it, emptying our buckets. My heart aches for the world. I have to remember that God is with us through it all.
Thank you for this Nadia. You have so succinctly summed up how I think so many of us are feeling. Yes, we need to realize we can’t put out “all the fires” as much as we wish we could. Thanks too for reminding us to make sure we give grace to others and ourselves these days.
Home run! Yes thank you, you speak for me Sister. One day at a time. Closest matters first. God’s grace always. Loved your chapel this week - God does not give out the suffering, God is with us through the suffering. But suffering is not new. We think it’s tough now, other people have had it tough before. Good thing we’ve got faith, hope and prayer that’s what they tell us is a help….
This one hit so hard I subscribed, sent a gift subscription to a friend, and I'm about to send more. I feel like the emergency room nurse with multiple gunshot wounds, a bus accident with kids involved, and severe COVID cases all at once. I am nowhere near that important or powerful. So I am checking every day and asking myself, am I taking the cases that are coming in hot instead of the ones that actually have a chance? It's not always the obvious choice.
I’ve been feeling this so much. I had to log off of everything and unfollow everyone for a few days just to catch my breath; the shame spiral was suffocating me. I’m realizing now that so much of this is embedded in my ego, a way of perceiving myself as a savior, as someone big enough to fix all of these things, as someone who ignores the small thing I’m actually called to because I think of myself as someone who can tackle something much bigger. It’s a great paradox, that we can heal the world by doing something that seems small and insignificant, and yet it seems to be the only way forward. Thank you for this, and for this reminder that we were never made to carry and hold every single thing, and that faithfulness can mean just carrying the thing that’s ours.
I hang on to that line, "We can do no great things, only small things with great love." (Mother Teresa?)
So true for me too. While God is calling me to slow down, be, rest in God, love, dwell instead on God. I am trying to appease my ego that says I can never do enough, and that wants to be called to bigger, more concrete things. "It’s a great paradox, that we can heal the world by doing something that seems small and insignificant, and yet it seems to be the only way forward." is exactly it. I feel most called to Racial Justice and Climate Justice, and I am ill equipped to make major changes in either area. I can only do the small things my knob and tub circuits can handle, and I will do them better if I accept, rather than fight, my call.
Totally agree- this is a great view. And sometimes all I have the bandwidth for, water in my bucket for, are the people closest to me, to give them a fire break from the storms in my own head.
Amen.
Also, a gentle reminder to anyone who needs it (myself being at the top of that list): Not only is it okay to do only what is yours to do, but it is also okay to feel joy and celebrate the positive things happening in your own life right now. You are not obligated to reach emotional equilibrium with the news headlines, nor will anyone benefit at all if you hold yourself to that standard.
Bea, we talk about this in our suicide survivors group all the time. There is this sense of guilt we all carry at being joyful when there is suffering.
I will never understand how you are in my head and heart and give voice to what I am feeling. Spot on.
She does, doesn't she? And she does a wonderful job of reminding us Who is really in charge and waiting for our cry for help!
As an electrician (really I am!), I hear this loud and clear. Sometimes when one circuit is overloaded, you can shift part of the load to another circuit, but once the service (or MAIN breaker) is overloaded, there is nothing you can do except find ways to save power, unplug unneeded loads, and maybe wait for a time (or season) when less power is being used by other things. Otherwise you need to upgrade the whole service-- and that gets expensive. Love you, Nadia.
Frederick Buechner:
The kind of work God usually calls you to is the kind of work (a) that you need most to do and (b) that the world most needs to have done... The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.
This is one of my favorite Buechner sayings!
Thank you. Inhale. Exhale. Also reminds me of Jen Hatmakers theory that if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no. Let someone else live out their calling, don’t hoard opportunities. Similar vibe.
This one gets a church lady stomp and a hallelujah! How many times do we take so many small opportunities that don't actually add up to real impact?
That is so right!
Thank you. From the core of who I am thank you. I am so empty right now it feels like there is no more bucket and it's just me standing there trying to make water from nothing. This has given me a space to take a breath. Thank you.
Thanks for linking to this in your recent post. I needed to read it.
I have caught some flak from friends recently because I haven’t been posting or vocal about the various wars and tragedies and crises that have been going on around the world. But my body and mind, spirit and soul, digestive system and nervous system, tendons and muscles were all completely devastated in the last two years because of some personal injuries and a mental illness in my family. I have been doing my best.
My cache is full. Thank you for writing this and making me feel not-a-shit. 🙏🏻
xo
Thank you for so aptly expressing what I’ve been thinking and feeling. It is too much to hold. We are not God and we cannot consume a continuous diet of catastrophic news without poisoning ourselves, or as you put it, emptying our buckets. My heart aches for the world. I have to remember that God is with us through it all.
Thank you for this Nadia. You have so succinctly summed up how I think so many of us are feeling. Yes, we need to realize we can’t put out “all the fires” as much as we wish we could. Thanks too for reminding us to make sure we give grace to others and ourselves these days.
Home run! Yes thank you, you speak for me Sister. One day at a time. Closest matters first. God’s grace always. Loved your chapel this week - God does not give out the suffering, God is with us through the suffering. But suffering is not new. We think it’s tough now, other people have had it tough before. Good thing we’ve got faith, hope and prayer that’s what they tell us is a help….
For sure!
THIS. Yes. Thank you.
This one hit so hard I subscribed, sent a gift subscription to a friend, and I'm about to send more. I feel like the emergency room nurse with multiple gunshot wounds, a bus accident with kids involved, and severe COVID cases all at once. I am nowhere near that important or powerful. So I am checking every day and asking myself, am I taking the cases that are coming in hot instead of the ones that actually have a chance? It's not always the obvious choice.
Thank you for this reminder of Grace for ourselves and everyone, right now and always moving forward