As I write this, I have a YouTube livestream open and playing in the background, listening to the singing in the chapel at Asbury University in Kentucky - where a regular chapel service that started 12 days ago has not yet ended. From everything I have seen, the “revival” is a quiet one - it’s mostly just singing led by college students - on simple acoustic guitar and piano. I cannot claim to understand it, all I know is that every time I have tuned in over the past few days, it has made me a little teary. Which surprises me. I have not always been prone to mixing sentimentality and religion. Irony and religion, fine, but this Gen Xer usually recoils from anything that smacks of sap. But here I am, longing to sing in that room with 1,000 other open-hearted people.
Thank you SO MUCH for this, Nadia. It made me realize just how exhausted I am from the snark and cynicism, the quickness to condemn and not bless, the leap to judgment before curiosity. I participate in all of this myself, often for what I consider good and important reasons. But damn, I’m tired. I want to sing and be open-hearted, too.
THANK YOU!! I have been struggling as well. Nadia captured my struggle so very well!! From my "hellfire and damnation" childhood in the 50's/60's it was "those" people who stole my childhood joy. They taught me to sing, "Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world" and then made sure this little child knew she would NEVER be good enough to be loved.
About 5/6 years ago, I stumbled across this out loud, brash, vulnerable, tattoo covered female voice who proclaimed, "you were NEVER not good enough!" I've been digging deeper ever since. I now understand god has been with me my whole life, in spite of my naming the "Universe" as my guide as my life unfolded in wonderful ways. Thank you Nadia for capturing my current cynicism perfectly " ...an aversion to things that feel like performance in church, my own cynicism and need to feel in control, and memories of church camp and the spiritual manipulation of being whipped into an emotional state when I was young, away from home, sleep deprived and in need of acceptance."
I, too, continue to simply pay attention. I hold it a great deal of faith and hope in our younger generations. It is well past time for my generation of boomers to step aside and encourage young folks to lead us to love more and better!!
Perfect, Nadia! I too am watching the livestream of #AsburyRevival -- or, awakening; or, outpouring -- whatever the label the pundits are placing on the events. I have personally experienced 'revival' prayer gatherings like these for more than 30 years in active ministry as a small town charismatic worship leader. #BrownsvilleRevival Pensacola FL during the late 1990s swept the Gulf Coast and then attracted onlookers, worshippers, and charlatans from around world. It shook my world then; and I'll never be the same again. In that nationally recognized revival, those who came out unscathed by the charlatans, were eternally changed for the Good. Many, like me, have move forward in our theology of 'revival' and gatherings such as what we are witnessing at Asbury today.
Ultimately, the leaders who are stewarding the gatherings in and around Wilmore KY, will determine the forward progression and fruitfulness, or not, of this spiritual phenomenon. I bless these precious students who are leading worship, who are sharing testimonies, who are pleading from deep within their souls for a Better way. I will continue to watch, listen, pray, and long for a truly supernatural revival of human souls, hot with compassion and generosity towards one another, towards the Way of Love, and towards the Heart of the Holy One.
My daughter lives in KY and has gone to the revival. She has had similar struggles with the manipulation of performative church - this is not that. Pure. Spontaneous.
Right before reading your post I read one about how our young people are depressed and suicidal, brought on by society’s ills. Lots of prescriptions for remedy but none of them included the need for a revival of hope in our souls.
Your text supports my latest thought: is not the greatest gift of god to us his peace? I for a very long time focussed on the love commandments and my failure in having sufficient compassion for everyone. Today after a hike I just asked him for peace - no more. No enlightning, no extacy no warm feeling in the bosom or what have you. I just realized: my soul needs rest. and this rest is peace which is his peace. My it be with You, Nadia, and all of us.
Nadia, thank you. I graduated from Asbury in 1968 with a distaste for its revivalism, narrow-mindedness, and pressure for performative piety. But, you and others who have been commenting on this ongoing event have caused me to take a second look. Perhaps looking at this through the lens of longing will help me be more forgiving of what I felt was wrong with Asbury and more grateful for what was right. Who am I to tell the Holy Spirit where and how to move.
"I swear that social media should just be called “Joy Stealers Anonymous”...can we just absorb something with an open-hearted awe and curiosity for one fucking minute?"
I came, kicking and screaming, into Faith in my third year of college. I'd never heard anything about anything like Faith growing up. When I wanted to share this new discovery with my parents, they told me that they didn't want to hear a word about it.
They had run from Faith. Probably had something to do with my two grandmothers.
I think I have always been people-averse. The worst part about Faith, for me, has been that it includes strangers. For the last 50 years [next week], for me, Faith has been about music and preaching. Mostly music. A lot of boring preaching. I apparently live on the Circadian Rhythm of my Norwegian ancestors. 10 hours off of Pacific time. I 'slept', in the front rows of churches, during a lot of those 50 years. Since we left our Evangelical Lutheran [Missouri] congregation when it was becoming Anger Management Sunday, I haven't really missed the people. We now do Sunday with our middle kid and his family--including two relatively new grandsons and Secular Jews.
In years passed, we gave up time with adult children for Church. Unfortunate consequences.
This morning we sang two, count them, two Wesleyan hymns at high Anglican Christ Church, West Didsbury, Manchester, UK. This evening we sang worship songs at evangelical charismatic Anglican Emmanuel, Didsbury Village, Manchester, UK. I love both musical forms. I love both churches. More than anything I am grateful to be able to worship with these communities.
Nadia - you’d written one phrase that really struck me: “I long to be un-self-conscious in my devotion to God.”
I grew up in liturgy, and used to thing anything but was heresy. But now I find it to be monotonously disdainful. I long for depth of conversation about life experiences and their impacts on faith journeys.
So I struggle with this Asbury Revival. Yes, maybe it is just young people throwing out all of the theological BS and just being with and in God. However as you’d also said, “this Gen Xer usually recoils from anything that smacks of sap.” I wonder if it’s just feel good self-indulgence. I wonder if it’s just here in the now and not forever. Why can’t I just be happy for them?
I’m troubled, because for whatever reason conventional worship has become a hurdle in my faith life. Is it okay if something like this doesn’t float everyone’s boat?
I returned to church about ten months ago after swearing off forever ("with and without a solemn oath"). I was perfectly content for a few years to not be in church. Relieved, in fact. But after a while, on the rare occasions I spoke of my non-churched status, I would say, "But I sure miss communion." And over time I began to long for it in just the way you describe in your essay. So I went back. I ended up in a UCC congregation in the suburbs of Portland Oregon. And all the things that annoyed me about church are still there, and they still do.
But I get to have communion, in both literal and figurative senses. And it changes me. Now I feel a deep longing to lay down my suspicion, and God knows where THAT'S going to take me. I don't even know if I've got the guts to find out.
I hear ya on that Gen-X aversion to sap! Speaking of...maybe you’re listening to the wrong kind of worship music. Try Marvin Sapp, Kirk Franklin or even Lecrae. Totally different groove!
I believe that many of us sing to God from our soul, from his Holy Spirit within us. I believe that when we reach him in heaven, our souls and our songs will join the masses who praise God for eternity. I hope to hear voices like those of Stevie Wonder, Alanis Morissete and Andrea Bocelli. When I listen to them sing about faith I feel a connection to heaven. 🙌🏼
I confess I envy their experience to some extent. I was in a church with this kind of thing for years and never really “felt” it, even though I participated. I hope there is something good that comes from it that lasts for them. I’m intrigued by a video posted by a pastor who went to see this, in which he said that during all this the students were protecting LGBTQ+ students and having conversations with professors and other about addressing racism and other issues. It would be amazing and heartening if this brings about real institutional change.
Love these thoughts. I haven’t watched the revival yet. Maybe for me I’ll just believe that goodness is there for those participating. I also think when I get to convinced of something right or wrong - I usually find I’m the one that needs to take another look. I can say you are the first writer who’s made me curious! Love you Nadia - ❤️
Thank you SO MUCH for this, Nadia. It made me realize just how exhausted I am from the snark and cynicism, the quickness to condemn and not bless, the leap to judgment before curiosity. I participate in all of this myself, often for what I consider good and important reasons. But damn, I’m tired. I want to sing and be open-hearted, too.
THANK YOU!! I have been struggling as well. Nadia captured my struggle so very well!! From my "hellfire and damnation" childhood in the 50's/60's it was "those" people who stole my childhood joy. They taught me to sing, "Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world" and then made sure this little child knew she would NEVER be good enough to be loved.
About 5/6 years ago, I stumbled across this out loud, brash, vulnerable, tattoo covered female voice who proclaimed, "you were NEVER not good enough!" I've been digging deeper ever since. I now understand god has been with me my whole life, in spite of my naming the "Universe" as my guide as my life unfolded in wonderful ways. Thank you Nadia for capturing my current cynicism perfectly " ...an aversion to things that feel like performance in church, my own cynicism and need to feel in control, and memories of church camp and the spiritual manipulation of being whipped into an emotional state when I was young, away from home, sleep deprived and in need of acceptance."
I, too, continue to simply pay attention. I hold it a great deal of faith and hope in our younger generations. It is well past time for my generation of boomers to step aside and encourage young folks to lead us to love more and better!!
Perfect, Nadia! I too am watching the livestream of #AsburyRevival -- or, awakening; or, outpouring -- whatever the label the pundits are placing on the events. I have personally experienced 'revival' prayer gatherings like these for more than 30 years in active ministry as a small town charismatic worship leader. #BrownsvilleRevival Pensacola FL during the late 1990s swept the Gulf Coast and then attracted onlookers, worshippers, and charlatans from around world. It shook my world then; and I'll never be the same again. In that nationally recognized revival, those who came out unscathed by the charlatans, were eternally changed for the Good. Many, like me, have move forward in our theology of 'revival' and gatherings such as what we are witnessing at Asbury today.
Ultimately, the leaders who are stewarding the gatherings in and around Wilmore KY, will determine the forward progression and fruitfulness, or not, of this spiritual phenomenon. I bless these precious students who are leading worship, who are sharing testimonies, who are pleading from deep within their souls for a Better way. I will continue to watch, listen, pray, and long for a truly supernatural revival of human souls, hot with compassion and generosity towards one another, towards the Way of Love, and towards the Heart of the Holy One.
My daughter lives in KY and has gone to the revival. She has had similar struggles with the manipulation of performative church - this is not that. Pure. Spontaneous.
Right before reading your post I read one about how our young people are depressed and suicidal, brought on by society’s ills. Lots of prescriptions for remedy but none of them included the need for a revival of hope in our souls.
Your text supports my latest thought: is not the greatest gift of god to us his peace? I for a very long time focussed on the love commandments and my failure in having sufficient compassion for everyone. Today after a hike I just asked him for peace - no more. No enlightning, no extacy no warm feeling in the bosom or what have you. I just realized: my soul needs rest. and this rest is peace which is his peace. My it be with You, Nadia, and all of us.
Nadia, thank you. I graduated from Asbury in 1968 with a distaste for its revivalism, narrow-mindedness, and pressure for performative piety. But, you and others who have been commenting on this ongoing event have caused me to take a second look. Perhaps looking at this through the lens of longing will help me be more forgiving of what I felt was wrong with Asbury and more grateful for what was right. Who am I to tell the Holy Spirit where and how to move.
I get that we all, white women anyway, have imposter syndrome, but one thing you need NEVER worry about is your fecundity as a writer.
Thank you! This is the best post I've read about Ashbury.
"I swear that social media should just be called “Joy Stealers Anonymous”...can we just absorb something with an open-hearted awe and curiosity for one fucking minute?"
I came, kicking and screaming, into Faith in my third year of college. I'd never heard anything about anything like Faith growing up. When I wanted to share this new discovery with my parents, they told me that they didn't want to hear a word about it.
They had run from Faith. Probably had something to do with my two grandmothers.
I think I have always been people-averse. The worst part about Faith, for me, has been that it includes strangers. For the last 50 years [next week], for me, Faith has been about music and preaching. Mostly music. A lot of boring preaching. I apparently live on the Circadian Rhythm of my Norwegian ancestors. 10 hours off of Pacific time. I 'slept', in the front rows of churches, during a lot of those 50 years. Since we left our Evangelical Lutheran [Missouri] congregation when it was becoming Anger Management Sunday, I haven't really missed the people. We now do Sunday with our middle kid and his family--including two relatively new grandsons and Secular Jews.
In years passed, we gave up time with adult children for Church. Unfortunate consequences.
Thank you, Nadia.
This morning we sang two, count them, two Wesleyan hymns at high Anglican Christ Church, West Didsbury, Manchester, UK. This evening we sang worship songs at evangelical charismatic Anglican Emmanuel, Didsbury Village, Manchester, UK. I love both musical forms. I love both churches. More than anything I am grateful to be able to worship with these communities.
Nadia - you’d written one phrase that really struck me: “I long to be un-self-conscious in my devotion to God.”
I grew up in liturgy, and used to thing anything but was heresy. But now I find it to be monotonously disdainful. I long for depth of conversation about life experiences and their impacts on faith journeys.
So I struggle with this Asbury Revival. Yes, maybe it is just young people throwing out all of the theological BS and just being with and in God. However as you’d also said, “this Gen Xer usually recoils from anything that smacks of sap.” I wonder if it’s just feel good self-indulgence. I wonder if it’s just here in the now and not forever. Why can’t I just be happy for them?
I’m troubled, because for whatever reason conventional worship has become a hurdle in my faith life. Is it okay if something like this doesn’t float everyone’s boat?
I returned to church about ten months ago after swearing off forever ("with and without a solemn oath"). I was perfectly content for a few years to not be in church. Relieved, in fact. But after a while, on the rare occasions I spoke of my non-churched status, I would say, "But I sure miss communion." And over time I began to long for it in just the way you describe in your essay. So I went back. I ended up in a UCC congregation in the suburbs of Portland Oregon. And all the things that annoyed me about church are still there, and they still do.
But I get to have communion, in both literal and figurative senses. And it changes me. Now I feel a deep longing to lay down my suspicion, and God knows where THAT'S going to take me. I don't even know if I've got the guts to find out.
I hear ya on that Gen-X aversion to sap! Speaking of...maybe you’re listening to the wrong kind of worship music. Try Marvin Sapp, Kirk Franklin or even Lecrae. Totally different groove!
I believe that many of us sing to God from our soul, from his Holy Spirit within us. I believe that when we reach him in heaven, our souls and our songs will join the masses who praise God for eternity. I hope to hear voices like those of Stevie Wonder, Alanis Morissete and Andrea Bocelli. When I listen to them sing about faith I feel a connection to heaven. 🙌🏼
I confess I envy their experience to some extent. I was in a church with this kind of thing for years and never really “felt” it, even though I participated. I hope there is something good that comes from it that lasts for them. I’m intrigued by a video posted by a pastor who went to see this, in which he said that during all this the students were protecting LGBTQ+ students and having conversations with professors and other about addressing racism and other issues. It would be amazing and heartening if this brings about real institutional change.
Love these thoughts. I haven’t watched the revival yet. Maybe for me I’ll just believe that goodness is there for those participating. I also think when I get to convinced of something right or wrong - I usually find I’m the one that needs to take another look. I can say you are the first writer who’s made me curious! Love you Nadia - ❤️