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Honestly, the fact that these promises - as well as the 10th step promises ("we have ceased fighting anyone and anything, even alcohol") - have manifested themselves in my life is a living definition of grace.

And I, too, love that they're promises. Not milestones. Not accomplishments. (Lord knows I couldn't have accomplished any of this on my own.) There's no timeline attached to them. There's no expiration date either.

Our program is built on suggestions and traditions that can manifest promises. For a stubborn drunk like me, that made it SO much more accessible than a program of rules and by-laws that move you toward goals. Because, for me, the problem with "goals" is, once I get there, my brain tells me my work is done. Great in some cases, but not when it comes to my alcoholism.

Thank God for this program.

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author

love these distinctions!

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Jul 8, 2021Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

Those have come true for me as well. I think it is about time some the things we have learned in AA become available to all. It is such an awesome way if life. I often tell my people I love that do not have a 12 step program. "To bad your not an alcoholic if you got sober your life would be so much more awesome". Lol. It's is a program of good living. Thanks! SD 7/26/99

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Jul 8, 2021Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

While "grateful alcoholic" might seem an oxymoron to some, to those of us that have worked the Steps, it's a wonderful description of how we were blessed with the opportunity to receive and appreciate the miracle of sobriety. I know I'm better person today because of my alcoholism.

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Jul 8, 2021Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

The Promises come to all who follow 12 Steps. I’m an Al-anon and have followed them to the best of my ability for many years. Yes they come true in stages. I noticed that it’s the fear of economic insecurity, not economic insecurity itself that leaves us. When the fear goes, the insecurity follows it. Keep doing you🙏🏻

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Jul 8, 2021Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

Yeah the breaking promises to yourself the try again tomorrows, a rip current you can't get out of, I do remember, somewhere along my drinking whirlpool, God saying that he had a lot of stuff to tell me but i had to stop with this bottle krap first.. that was probably the first thing that really took.

Thanks for your honest words.

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Jul 8, 2021Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

I have never really had a problem with alcohol, or overeating, drugs, etc, etc... but today I had a thought that the 12 steps might help me, and so had a look.

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable."

I am powerless over anything. Crivvens!

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author

welcome.

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Jul 8, 2021Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

True ... congrats on your years of living one day at a time .. 35 years of one days at a time here. Promises are real and come in stages for me

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I am a proud member of ACA and or promises are a little different :

1. We will discover our real identities by loving and accepting ourselves.

2. Our self-esteem will increase as we give ourselves approval on a daily basis.

3. Fear of authority figures and the need to “people-please” will leave us.

4. Our ability to share intimacy will grow inside us.

5. As we face our abandonment issues, we will be attracted by strengths and become more tolerant of weaknesses.

6. We will enjoy feeling stable, peaceful, and financially secure.

7. We will learn how to play and have fun in our lives.

8. We will choose to love people who can love and be responsible for themselves.

9. Healthy boundaries and limits will become easier for us to set.

10. Fears of failure and success will leave us, as we intuitively make healthier choices.

11. With help from our ACA support group, we will slowly release our dysfunctional behaviors.

12. Gradually, with our Higher Power’s help, we will learn to expect the best and get it

And I agree, when I clear my shit up, these promises are already there, waiting for me.

The hardest promise from AA for me is #2 -

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut door on it. That takes some work to realize the past has made me who I am today. Without those experiences, I would be a different person

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author

beautiful!

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Hey thanks for posting! I forgot Adult Children of Alcoholics groups were a resource and I might give that a try. Thank you.

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Thank you for sharing this, Nadia. I know that I have much more than my share of sins and weaknesses, but dependencies on alcohol and other substances don't happen to be among them. Because I have not been part of AA I had never encountered this list of promises but they speak loudly to me. They help me to realize the many ways in which God does for me what I could not do for myself. For those who have these specific addictions these promises must be a revelation. For me, in dealing with all my particular addictions, they shine a light on what I can expect if I just open to the grace of God. I am just as much in need of finding my own type of sobriety as those who are getting rid of the bottle.

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founding

5 1/2 years sober and thanking God for doing for me what I couldn’t have done on my own

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This brought tears of joy to my eyes. Yes, it worked for me too. It worked the way it was intended to work. I truly believe AA's founders, Bill and Bob were genuinely inspired by God. I believe we can all be inspired with even just a little focus on the source of our power. Jesus taught us we can move mountains. It's time we get busy doing just that. Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.

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Thanks for posting. My father, the stuborn man he is (not that I'm much different), insisted on beating alcoholism cold turkey on his own without AA. I'm grateful he has been sober 11 years now but I've never heard him talk about his process or struggle. I don't know that anyone in my immediate family has. I really hope he's gotten to experience the relief of these promises coming true in spite of his need to do it on his own.

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That (no) method pretty much worked for me as well, whatever it takes as long as you stop the drinking spin. Some of us stubborn folk would just rather not talk about stuff.

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11 & 12 stand out to me right now as I sit with what you’ve shared today and the comments others have offered. I am remembering experiences I’ve heard folk share about - that the obsession has been lifted. That the freedom from the “ism” is less (if at all) about my ability to earn/accomplish anything and more (all) about the backpack filled with bricks that I am freed from even remembering to look for to pick up and carry anymore. For me, the day at a time work is (and sometimes even feels) possible because of what I don’t remember I’m not carrying anymore. Not all by myself, anyway.

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That's beautiful. I'm proud of you and your strength, Nadia.

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