Road Rage and the Unforgivable

[Danielle]

That was the best sermon on that text that I have ever heard/seen, and it makes so much more sense now. I think you are right, Nadia, and I think you have to be right, because it really doesn't make sense any other way. Thank you. And may we all have the grace we need to believe it, and forgive ourselves as well as others.

[Drexel King]

What about the sermon was most helpful to you?

[Linda Olson]

Welcome back!! I have missed you ❤️! There are some special people in my life, people I struggle with, people who hurt me, people who I hurt. I needed to hear that our Christ goes after them as if they were the precious lost coin. I needed to hear that forgiveness is not for just the few, but for all. It is available to all. My Spirit leaps for joy to hear this. It gives me hope, not just for those I think have fallen, but also for me!

When I share this Spirit-guided hope for all, people say, “But what about Judas, what about Hitler, what about…?” Well, if Spirit awakened in me, and I was touch and slowly changed, wouldn’t it be the same for others. And if they reject being found in this life, who knows? Maybe they are embraced and informed in the life after death?

I know our scriptures speak of hell. But I pray it is empty. I want my heart to be open enough to believe in eternal life that doesn’t require damnation. And it’s personal. My dad was an unbeliever. He was bipolar. You never knew when all hell would break loose in our home. You never knew when you would be condemned,or if it would be mom or my sister.

Dad lived to be 94. I was estranged from my dad for the last 10 years of his life. He was on meds by that time, but he never got over needing to control everyone. He never got over needing scapegoats. When my daughter married a black man, she committed the unforgivable sin in my dad’s eyes. He wrote her a nasty letter and claimed she was dead to him. My family rallied around her and her beloved because we didn’t believe this way. Dad was wrong. And none of my family wanted anything to do with him for the last 10 years of his life. It was our way of protecting ourselves. We couldn’t combat his hate, so we compounded his wound. But this was our mistake. We played into his game.

It wasn’t until the last year of his life that I asked the Holy Spirit to help us, me and Dad mended. That was hard. The Lord had me look at the situation from his perspective. I saw his isolation. I saw the rejection that he lived with. I saw his prison. He couldn’t accept us and love us because he couldn’t accept himself or love himself. He licked his wounds and growled, but never healed.

What would Christ do with him in the afterlife? Condemn him to hell for not believing in him? No, I believe he prepared a place for him, just as he prepares a place for me. And I imagine Jesus sitting beside him and having a long talk with my dad. Just as he will with me. But in the end, there is love.

Not sure how this wound up as a response, but I am glad it did. I still love my dad.

[Abby Blackmon]

Just beautiful. Thank you for sharing

[Wabi Sabi]

I spent my childhood worrying about committing the Unforgivable Sin too. I don't think you should let people near the Bible unsupervised before they reach a certain age, it's much scarier than most X-rated movies and children have very literal minds...

[Chuck]

"I've had heartaches, headaches, toothaches, earaches, and I've had a few pains in the ass, but I've survived to tell about it."

Dolly Parton

[Barbara O'Malley]

Love this, and you Nadia. My demons are no match for His terrible mercy. That’s going up on my bathroom mirror. Thank you.

[Barnaby Feder]

UU minister here. Deepy appreciative of this commentary regarding Judas. I know it's not Nadia's intention because our theology is so different, but this sermon works beautifully to connect the High Holy Days of Judaism to the Universalist message of Hosea Ballou that all are saved after death because the essential character of God is that of an all-powerful God whose Love cannot be defeated. I always preach a High Holy Days sermon of some sort at some point during that holiday because I believe the Jewish concept that we have to work on forgiveness among humans before God will listen to any prayers that we receive another year of life to be among the greatest spiritual inventions of our ancestors. This sermon will be a great help in connecting the dots of my emergent God version of UU thinking, this fall's HHD sermon, and the Universal salvation element of my congregation's heritage. As their minister, I'm happy for them to believe in one God, many, or none as long as they have faith that whatever it is, we are all in it together, and forgiveness is essential to any faith grounded in Love.

[Tom Dietvorst]

I started a reply and it went somewhere...

Barnaby: I love this! " As their minister, I'm happy for them to believe in one God, many, or none as long as they have faith that whatever it is, we are all in it together, and forgiveness is essential to any faith grounded in Love."

I didn't know I was a congregant of yours but I must be. (-:)

I've been holding onto a sin - probably because I am not done with it - between you and Nadia: "I cannot claim to know what may have kept forgiveness out of your own life. Maybe you believe that you don't really need it. Or maybe you believe that you don’t really deserve it. I do not know what you may have withheld from yourself or others because of a misguided notion about worthiness, I do not know how others may have scapegoated you, or how you may have transferred your own guilt into blame. But I do know that your demons are no match for his terrible mercy." I am going to have to let go of it and truly accept that "Love cannot be defeated." Thank you Barnaby. Thank you Nadia. Love to both of you. Love to me.

[Teri]

I want to say, alleluia, lower case A. I continue to struggle with envy of my ex-husband who left me and our adult daughter with disabilities because he had had enough of me “always putting her first” as he explained to the marriage counselor during one of the 2 sessions he attended (out of 10). These words have finally summed up the felling I’ve been wresting to define…”but then we miss out on the freedom that comes from the work of the spirit in confession and absolution. We miss out on the freedom that comes from the work of the Spirit that is reconciliation between two broken down people. We miss out on the freedom that comes from the work of the Spirit that brings forgiveness.”

He never worked on it. He left me at the counselors office without trying to work it out. He ran away. Then told everyone I left him.

Now I can heal - without him, no longer wondering what I did wrong. I’m Not perfect, but I can reconcile.

[Chris Guthrie]

THE BALLAD OF JUDAS ISCARIOT.

-Robert Buchanan 1872

’Twas the body of Judas Iscariot

Lay in the Field of Blood;

’Twas the soul of Judas Iscariot

Beside the body stood.

Black was the earth by night,

And black was the sky;

Black, black were the broken clouds,

Tho’ the red Moon went by.

’Twas the body of Judas Iscariot

Strangled and dead lay there;

’Twas the soul of Judas Iscariot

Look’d on it in despair.

The breath of the World came and went

Like a sick man’s in rest;

Drop by drop on the World’s eyes

The dews fell cool and blest.

Then the soul of Judas Iscariot

Did make a gentle moan—

‘I will bury underneath the ground

My flesh and blood and bone.

‘I will bury deep beneath the soil,

Lest mortals look thereon,

And when the wolf and raven come

The body will be gone!

‘The stones of the field are sharp as steel,

And hard and cold, God wot;

And I must bear my body hence

Until I find a spot!’

’Twas the soul of Judas Iscariot,

So grim, and gaunt, and gray,

Raised the body of Judas Iscariot,

And carried it away.

And as he bare it from the field

Its touch was cold as ice,

And the ivory teeth within the jaw

Rattled aloud, like dice.

As the soul of Judas Iscariot

Carried its load with pain,

The Eye of Heaven, like a lanthorn’s eye,

Open’d and shut again.

Half he walk’d, and half he seemed

Lifted on the cold wind;

He did not turn, for chilly hands

Were pushing from behind.

The first place that he came unto

It was the open wold,

And underneath were prickly whins,

And a wind that blew so cold.

The next place that he came unto

It was a stagnant pool,

And when he threw the body in

It floated light as wool.

He drew the body on his back,

And it was dripping chill,

And the next place be came unto

Was a Cross upon a hill.

A Cross upon the windy hill,

And a Cross on either side,

Three skeletons that swing thereon,

Who had been crucified.

And on the middle cross-bar sat

A white Dove slumbering;

Dim it sat in the dim light,

With its head beneath its wing.

And underneath the middle Cross

A grave yawn’d wide and vast,

But the soul of Judas Iscariot

Shiver’d, and glided past.

The fourth place that he came unto

It was the Brig of Dread,

And the great torrents rushing down

Were deep, and swift, and red.

He dared not fling the body in

For fear of faces dim

And arms were waved in the wild water

To thrust it back to him.

’Twas the soul of Judas Iscariot

Turned from the Brig of Dread,

And the dreadful foam of the wild water

Had splashed the body red.

For days and nights he wandered on

Upon an open plain,

And the days went by like blinding mist,

And the nights like rushing rain.

For days and nights he wandered on,

All thro’ the Wood of Woe;

And the nights went by like moaning wind,

And the days like drifting snow.

’Twas the soul of Judas Iscariot

Came with a weary face—

Alone, alone, and all alone,

Alone in a lonely place!

He wandered east, he wandered west,

And heard no human sound;

For months and years, in grief and tears,

He wandered round and round,

For months and years, in grief and tears,

He walked the silent night;

Then the soul of Judas Iscariot

Perceived a far-off light.

A far-off light across the waste,

As dim as dim might be,

That came and went like the lighthouse gleam

On a black night at sea.

’Twas the soul of Judas Iscariot

Crawl’d to the distant gleam;

And the rain came down, and the rain was blown

Against him with a scream.

For days and nights he wandered on,

Push’d on by hands behind;

And the days went by like black, black rain,

And the nights like rushing wind.

’Twas the soul of Judas Iscariot,

Strange, and sad, and tall,

Stood all alone at dead of night

Before a lighted hall.

And the wold was white with snow,

And his foot-marks black and damp,

And the ghost of the silvern Moon arose,

Holding her yellow lamp.

And the icicles were on the eaves,

And the walls were deep with white,

And the shadows of the guests within

Pass’d on the window light.

The shadows of the wedding guests

Did strangely come and go,

And the body of Judas Iscariot

Lay stretch’d along the snow.

The body of Judas Iscariot

Lay stretched along the snow;

’Twas the soul of Judas Iscariot

Ran swiftly to and fro.

To and fro, and up and down,

He ran so swiftly there,

As round and round the frozen Pole

Glideth the lean white bear.

’Twas the Bridegroom sat at the table-head,

And the lights burnt bright and clear—

‘Oh, who is that,’ the Bridegroom said,

‘Whose weary feet I hear?’

’Twas one look’d from the lighted hall,

And answered soft and slow,

‘It is a wolf runs up and down

With a black track in the snow.’

The Bridegroom in his robe of white

Sat at the table-head—

‘Oh, who is that who moans without?’

The blessed Bridegroom said.

’Twas one looked from the lighted hall,

And answered fierce and low,

‘’Tis the soul of Judas Iscariot

Gliding to and fro.’

’Twas the soul of Judas Iscariot

Did hush itself and stand,

And saw the Bridegroom at the door

With a light in his hand.

The Bridegroom stood in the open door,

And he was clad in white,

And far within the Lord’s Supper

Was spread so broad and bright.

The Bridegroom shaded his eyes and look’d,

And his face was bright to see—

‘What dost thou here at the Lord’s Supper

With thy body’s sins?’ said he.

’Twas the soul of Judas Iscariot

Stood black, and sad, and bare—

‘I have wandered many nights and days;

There is no light elsewhere.’

’Twas the wedding guests cried out within,

And their eyes were fierce and bright—

‘Scourge the soul of Judas Iscariot

Away into the night!’

The Bridegroom stood in the open door,

And he waved hands still and slow,

And the third time that he waved his hands

The air was thick with snow.

And of every flake of falling snow,

Before it touched the ground,

There came a dove, and a thousand doves

Made sweet sound.

’Twas the body of Judas Iscariot

Floated away full fleet,

And the wings of the doves that bare it off

Were like its winding-sheet.

’Twas the Bridegroom stood at the open door,

And beckon’d, smiling sweet;

’Twas the soul of Judas Iscariot

Stole in, and fell at his feet.

‘The Holy Supper is spread within,

And the many candles shine,

And I have waited long for thee

Before I poured the wine!’

The supper wine is poured at last,

The lights burn bright and fair,

Iscariot washes the Bridegroom’s feet,

And dries them with his hair.

[Freddie]

That moved me so much. Thanks for that

[Loretta]

Thank you for unpacking this passage in a way that finally makes sense. I'm very glad you are back. Thank you for the lovely array of voices you arranged for us while you were gone.

[Rhonda Wilson]

I love this. Makes me think about those I have judged and those who have judged me, because guess what? I’m not sin free.

It makes me think of my alcoholic daughter who is barely holding it together, dying of liver disease and still drinking. I want to give up on her and I have but I’m not giving up on Jesus.

I remember that when I was her age (40) I was only beginning my own road of recovery from my personal demons. I will be on my recovery road for the rest of my life.

Please keep writing and preaching. I’m so glad I discovered you, Nadia.

[Nadia Bolz-Weber]

I hope she starts her recovery soon. xo

[Sandy]

I wonder about Judas too. I want to believe that there was grace for him waiting on the other side.

[Fran Gardner]

Thanks for clarifying Mark 3. I heard it at church this Sunday and wondered what it meant.

The Episcopalians have taken to referring to the Holy Spirit as “she,” at least in my church. I like that.

[Karen Jacobs Larson]

Oh. My. This is powerful. The insurance adjusters. Pre existing conditions. Your words about this text are sending a jolt to my spirit in the best way. So glad you are back.

[Evelyn Wheeler]

To ascribe to the forces of evil that which God has created and blessed. "He has a demon." "He is possessed by Beelzebul." And yes, even, "I cannot be forgiven." We turn it inward or outward, and deny ourselves and each other God's overwhelming mercy. I really like your formulation: "How sad when we would rather be subjugated by pride than freed by grace."

[flavius Harkrider]

Thank you, Nadia, for putting into words who the Holy Spirit is, and is constantly by our side, always within us. For me, the Spirit has always guided me, kept me from doing stupid things, gently reminding me to readjust my moral compass. What a blessing to have such an internal guidance system! Nadia, blessings and prayers go out to you!

[Kim LaSalle]

As luck (or the Holy Spirit) would have it, your sermons and essays always seem to present themselves at the exact time I most need them. Thanks for this.

The story of Judas, as explained to me when I was a little girl in a fundamentalist church, really plagued me. I was told that it was God's will for Christ to go to the cross and it was the betrayal by Judas that helped this along. Despite Judas being a willing participant in God's plan, Judas was going to burn in a lake of fire for eternity. So, I asked, "But didn't God want this?" The response was "yes, God always intended this and chose Judas to do it." Then, I countered,"But, if Judas helped carry out God's plan, why would Judas go to hell?" The response was, "Because Judas betrayed Jesus." That's the kind of circular logic that is guaranteed to drive me crazy and lead to my own type of road rage. Or, at least, it was.

I don't believe in the "unforgivable" anymore. Partly, because some people really need that kind of definition. Mostly, because I see myself in some of the more notable "sinners" we come across in the Bible.

Cain, with his insolence toward God and insistence that he should be able to worship God on his own terms as opposed to worshiping God on God's terms. I'm more like that than not.

Ham talking trash about his father Noah after Noah got drunk and passed out naked in his tent. I guess. I don't know what sin he committed that was so bad that Noah cursed Canaan. (Or did he just tell Ham that Canaan's descendants would be cursed?) All I know is that while Ham delighted in pointing out his father's flaws, the other brothers averted their eyes, covered their father up, and kept their mouths shut. It's possible I'd do both. It's possible I'd cover up a parent in an unfortunate situation, but I'd also talk trash about them. I'm glad I don't believe in hell and grateful for a forgiving God, because I've done plenty and thought plenty that I'm pretty confident I wouldn't personally be able to forgive.

These are questions I wanted to explore in a Bible study I just joined. But this group reads the Bible literally. Absolutely literally. So, I have nothing to offer, really. Not so much because I think it's wrong, as because it's wrong for me and I'm wrong for the group. During our discussion about how big the ark was and why the animals didn't eat one another, I began to feel the stirrings of rage/disbelief deep, deep inside of me.

Then one of the participants said she'd studied all about the ark because she thought it was important to have some rational foundation for belief. And I remembered that the belief in the inerrancy of scripture, exactly as written, is an intrinsic element of faith for many people. It isn't something that requires my forgiveness. It requires my acceptance. I'm okay with that today, in large measure because of sermons like yours.