I started recovery with CR. They use the long version of the serenity prayer.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
(Although known most widely in its abbreviated form above,
the remaining lines of the full prayer read as follows...)
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as [God] did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that [God] will make all things right
if I surrender to [God's] will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with God
forever in the next.
Amen.
I have many reasons for hanging out in The Corners, but being led by someone who teaches from a place of openness about her own recovery (Thanks, Nadia!) is a primary reason. For too long, I believed that all of us in the corners of life weren't/couldn't be leaders, speakers, prophesiers anywhere BUT in the corners. I just didn't see models of vulnerability in the world. So grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change: the past, the what ifs, the shoulda/coulda/woulda, the emotional reaction I have to words people say; the courage to change the things I can: STOP (step back, take a breath, observe my emotions, proceed effectively), check the facts, mindfulness, the behavior I use after I feel; and the wisdom to know the difference - always learning, reflecting, being in community.
Have always loved this prayer. The “wisdom to know the difference” is really hard right now. Do I try to engage my friends and family who have bought in to some really crazy conspiracy theories and what I believe to be distinctly un-Christlike political views? It’s not something I can accept but feels like nothing I can change.
I’m in similar situation. Been called a victim by one and demon possesed by another. So i’ve been praying and preparing for the day there might be an opening. I’m studying Steven Hassan’s book ‘Freedom of Mind ..helping loved ones leave controlling people, cults and beliefs’. May God free us all.
For sure! I keep getting told I'm an emotional liberal who doesn't know what's really happening. Ugh. Like, "No dad. Its just not safe for you to fly during a global pandemic..."
I love the Adult Children of Alcoholics Serenity Prayer, too. God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can and the wisdom to know that one is me. It helps me through countless situations. Stay safe and be well, y'all.
A quick list of things I need to accept (God help me): 1. My dad has the right to make his own decisions even if I think theyre too dangerous during this pandemic or that i think put my family in harms way. 2. I don't know when my fiance and I will finally get to have a wedding but thats ok because anticipation is better than memory. 3. The economy has been severely affected by the pandemic and the fact that I have not gotten a job after 80+ applications is not a reflection on me or my worth.
A quick list of things I can change: 1. My perspective. 2. My expectations of myself and others. 3. I can bake the brownies today that i promised my partner i would make this weekend.
Thanks for including "I am forgiven" in the list of "things I cannot change". I still remind myself of that almost daily when I fall into the habit of guilt/shame for some petty little sin. I'm learning to not kick my own ass over things that God has already forgiven me for - and to use that energy on more constructive activities.
❤ Simple - easy to understand - but so RIDICULOUSLY difficult to launch - "... and the COURAGE to change the things I can..."
My spiritual work for 2020 has danced around a single question: "How complicit have I been in creating the world I say I don't want?" Lean into the question - let it wash over and sink in - hits me right between the eyes most every day.
This week several occurrences have me pondering the relationship between peer pressure - herd mentality - authority - and "being complicit". Speaking my truth or launching in a direction that does not scream complicity - takes COURAGE. Its uncomfortable - unsettling - and many times leaves me vulnerable - questioning the herd or wondering where my tribe disappeared too.
Thank you for this, Nadia. I don't know how many times my therapist had brought up the serenity prayer, and I always kind of scoff. While I know it to be true, it's just so hard to put in to practice.
I am really struggling right now - as I'm sure we all are. I'm finding it impossible to accept that I cannot control everything, and trying to do so is causing me pain and affecting my relationships with those who matter most. What started as a useful coping mechanism has morphed into an exacting attitude with little room for error - both for myself and others. Frustration, anger, and anxiety are at an all time high. I need the serenity to chill the f@%k out, and believe that not everything must be done right now, perfectly, or even by me. May God grant me the courage to change my attitude, soften my edges, and nurture my relationships, so that I can change from an insufferable ball of stress to the calm, compassionate, resilient person I know I am.
God, grant me the serenity to accept that I am loved, lovable, and worthy; the courage to stop listening to the inner critic that doubts those Truths; and the wisdom to hear the difference between those two voices. Amen.
My grandma had this framed prayer on her bedroom wall. I'm 81, so that was a long time ago! She had a particularly sad life, with an abusive, often absent husband, and in later years, three alcoholic sons. I once asked "Grandma, why didn't you divorce that awful man?" She said that back then, divorced women were considered "fallen women", and she would have been blamed and ostracized by society. Her adult life was riddled with disappointment, shame, and frustration. My mom, her daughter, said that had it not been for relatives, the children often would have gone hungry. The Goodfellows organization provided a bit of Christmas for them. Still, Grandma remained a positive thinker and a devout Christian. She called this prayer her motto. She passed on when at age 99 she was run over by a car! I still miss her.
I heard in a meeting a wonderful modification to the first line. "God, grant me the grace to accept, with serenity, the things I cannot change." This changes the focus for me slightly, but in a very helpful way. There are a lot of things I cannot accept without the help of God's grace, and I cannot wait until I have some serenity to accept unpleasant realities. For me, the serenity will almost certainly follow acceptance and not the other way around. It is also clear to me that I would not be as misguided about what I can and can't control if I had been born something other than a middle class, white male. Society has told me I have a lot of control, and privilege and history have led me to believe I did, the truth being that "I was born on third base and took credit for hitting a home run." God give me humility, help me repent, help me make amends. Chances are those actions will actually give me some serenity. What do you think Nadia?
I need the serenity to accept that the church is God's endeavor and not mine to worry over and spend ridiculous amounts of time trying to fix. Along with that, I need the courage to listen so the Holy Spirit's voice rises above the monkeys of fear and doubt and worry and obsessing and planning, etc. I need the serenity and courage to believe that I am enough.
The serenity to accept that my family is not as close as I would like and the courage to accept and love them (and myself) as we are. It's especially hard with Thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner.
I started recovery with CR. They use the long version of the serenity prayer.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
(Although known most widely in its abbreviated form above,
the remaining lines of the full prayer read as follows...)
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as [God] did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that [God] will make all things right
if I surrender to [God's] will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with God
forever in the next.
Amen.
I have many reasons for hanging out in The Corners, but being led by someone who teaches from a place of openness about her own recovery (Thanks, Nadia!) is a primary reason. For too long, I believed that all of us in the corners of life weren't/couldn't be leaders, speakers, prophesiers anywhere BUT in the corners. I just didn't see models of vulnerability in the world. So grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change: the past, the what ifs, the shoulda/coulda/woulda, the emotional reaction I have to words people say; the courage to change the things I can: STOP (step back, take a breath, observe my emotions, proceed effectively), check the facts, mindfulness, the behavior I use after I feel; and the wisdom to know the difference - always learning, reflecting, being in community.
Thank you for reminding us of the rest of this prayer Brandon! It helped this morning.
Amen and thank you, Brandon!
Thank you for posting the long version of the prayer, I've never heard it before and it resonated so closely with me and where I'm at.
Have always loved this prayer. The “wisdom to know the difference” is really hard right now. Do I try to engage my friends and family who have bought in to some really crazy conspiracy theories and what I believe to be distinctly un-Christlike political views? It’s not something I can accept but feels like nothing I can change.
I’m in similar situation. Been called a victim by one and demon possesed by another. So i’ve been praying and preparing for the day there might be an opening. I’m studying Steven Hassan’s book ‘Freedom of Mind ..helping loved ones leave controlling people, cults and beliefs’. May God free us all.
I'm right there with you Shana! With family it's especially hard to know what is ours to do.
So many families in this boat I think. Ironically they think I’m the lost/misguided sheep, so it’s coming in both directions.
For sure! I keep getting told I'm an emotional liberal who doesn't know what's really happening. Ugh. Like, "No dad. Its just not safe for you to fly during a global pandemic..."
I am in the same situation.
I need to forgive myself for something I've been carrying around for almost 50 years. I need to accept it and get on with forgiving myself.
I love the Adult Children of Alcoholics Serenity Prayer, too. God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can and the wisdom to know that one is me. It helps me through countless situations. Stay safe and be well, y'all.
Wow, as the daughter of an alcoholic myself, i don't remember hearing that one. Thanks for sharing!
A quick list of things I need to accept (God help me): 1. My dad has the right to make his own decisions even if I think theyre too dangerous during this pandemic or that i think put my family in harms way. 2. I don't know when my fiance and I will finally get to have a wedding but thats ok because anticipation is better than memory. 3. The economy has been severely affected by the pandemic and the fact that I have not gotten a job after 80+ applications is not a reflection on me or my worth.
A quick list of things I can change: 1. My perspective. 2. My expectations of myself and others. 3. I can bake the brownies today that i promised my partner i would make this weekend.
Thanks for including "I am forgiven" in the list of "things I cannot change". I still remind myself of that almost daily when I fall into the habit of guilt/shame for some petty little sin. I'm learning to not kick my own ass over things that God has already forgiven me for - and to use that energy on more constructive activities.
God grant me the serenity to accept that I cannot change the past, and the courage to lay my club down and stop beating myself up. It is done.
❤ Simple - easy to understand - but so RIDICULOUSLY difficult to launch - "... and the COURAGE to change the things I can..."
My spiritual work for 2020 has danced around a single question: "How complicit have I been in creating the world I say I don't want?" Lean into the question - let it wash over and sink in - hits me right between the eyes most every day.
This week several occurrences have me pondering the relationship between peer pressure - herd mentality - authority - and "being complicit". Speaking my truth or launching in a direction that does not scream complicity - takes COURAGE. Its uncomfortable - unsettling - and many times leaves me vulnerable - questioning the herd or wondering where my tribe disappeared too.
Wow, that is powerful.Thank you, Chuck.
Thank you for this, Nadia. I don't know how many times my therapist had brought up the serenity prayer, and I always kind of scoff. While I know it to be true, it's just so hard to put in to practice.
I am really struggling right now - as I'm sure we all are. I'm finding it impossible to accept that I cannot control everything, and trying to do so is causing me pain and affecting my relationships with those who matter most. What started as a useful coping mechanism has morphed into an exacting attitude with little room for error - both for myself and others. Frustration, anger, and anxiety are at an all time high. I need the serenity to chill the f@%k out, and believe that not everything must be done right now, perfectly, or even by me. May God grant me the courage to change my attitude, soften my edges, and nurture my relationships, so that I can change from an insufferable ball of stress to the calm, compassionate, resilient person I know I am.
you aren't the only insufferable ball of stress, and thank you for making me laugh!!! :)
So many things I need to fix in my life. Drugs, lies, 🚬 smoking. God give me the strength and wisdom to change.
I learned this prayer, and learned to love it in childhood because I grew up with a couple friends of Bill W. I especially love this version -
God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
God, grant me the serenity to accept that I am loved, lovable, and worthy; the courage to stop listening to the inner critic that doubts those Truths; and the wisdom to hear the difference between those two voices. Amen.
You are absolutely loved, loveable, and worthy!
My grandma had this framed prayer on her bedroom wall. I'm 81, so that was a long time ago! She had a particularly sad life, with an abusive, often absent husband, and in later years, three alcoholic sons. I once asked "Grandma, why didn't you divorce that awful man?" She said that back then, divorced women were considered "fallen women", and she would have been blamed and ostracized by society. Her adult life was riddled with disappointment, shame, and frustration. My mom, her daughter, said that had it not been for relatives, the children often would have gone hungry. The Goodfellows organization provided a bit of Christmas for them. Still, Grandma remained a positive thinker and a devout Christian. She called this prayer her motto. She passed on when at age 99 she was run over by a car! I still miss her.
I heard in a meeting a wonderful modification to the first line. "God, grant me the grace to accept, with serenity, the things I cannot change." This changes the focus for me slightly, but in a very helpful way. There are a lot of things I cannot accept without the help of God's grace, and I cannot wait until I have some serenity to accept unpleasant realities. For me, the serenity will almost certainly follow acceptance and not the other way around. It is also clear to me that I would not be as misguided about what I can and can't control if I had been born something other than a middle class, white male. Society has told me I have a lot of control, and privilege and history have led me to believe I did, the truth being that "I was born on third base and took credit for hitting a home run." God give me humility, help me repent, help me make amends. Chances are those actions will actually give me some serenity. What do you think Nadia?
I need the serenity to accept that the church is God's endeavor and not mine to worry over and spend ridiculous amounts of time trying to fix. Along with that, I need the courage to listen so the Holy Spirit's voice rises above the monkeys of fear and doubt and worry and obsessing and planning, etc. I need the serenity and courage to believe that I am enough.
The serenity to accept that my family is not as close as I would like and the courage to accept and love them (and myself) as we are. It's especially hard with Thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner.