After eight years of sobriety, I spent the last 20 years nurturing my alcoholism/addiction and created a whole lot of wreckage. Even though I found an ELCA church during all this, my wife and I became very active. Yet, I still felt called back to the program and I resisted as much as possible. After a lot of prayer, some broken bones, dents in my car....etc.... I am finally back after not being able to stay sober on my own for more than two to four days - day four was always pretty miserable. After saying that most powerful prayer - "God help me!" over and over, I have 39 days of sobriety today. Thanks for the meaningful Sunday prayer!
I love the Zoom meetings. I attend my sponsor’s home group mid-day, then my own home group in the mornings and evenings. I went to a meeting in London once. That was fun.
23 years ago, today, I was homeless, semi-psychotic, suicidal, trying and failing to detox myself. Today, I'm coming up on 23 years sober, buying a house, working in a homeless shelter. I appreciate and share the prayers for the poor and addicted, but damn, y'all gotta pray for shelter workers too, because we deal with some crazy shit everyday.
I pray for shelter workers and food bank workers. I pray you all have strength to continue and the faith to know your work matters to people who have lost ability to speak clearly for themselves. Thank you for the work you do. May God have mercy.
In response to your question about prayer, Nadia, there is no simple answer. I'm not good at prayer. If I say I will pray for you it will be more like prayerful meditation. I have learned the value of liturgical prayer, and why our common prayers are almost always expressed in plural rather than single terms - "our" rather than "my".
Some of those I love are in need of healing and I learned much about that from Rachel Held Evans, whom I discovered after her untimely death. I learned of you from your beautiful beatitudes which you offered as a benediction at her funeral. Some of Rachel's most powerful words on healing were in her book Searching for Sunday. I hope you will excuse my quoting them:
:..there is a difference between curing and healing, and I believe the church is called to the slow and difficult work of healing. We are called to enter into one another’s pain, anoint it as holy, and stick around no matter the outcome.
...
The thing about healing, as opposed to curing, is that it is relational. It takes time. It is inefficient, like a meandering river. Rarely does healing follow a straight or well-lit path. Rarely does it conform to our expectations or resolve in a timely manner. Walking with someone through grief, or through the process of reconciliation, requires patience, presence, and a willingness to wander, to take the scenic route.
...
And the truth is, the church doesn’t offer a cure. It doesn’t offer a quick fix. The church offers death and resurrection. The church offers the messy, inconvenient, gut-wrenching, never-ending work of healing and reconciliation. The church offers grace"
My brother died three weeks ago from liver cirrhosis brought on by decades of addiction. He was held in his last days by our mom and his partner, and I am glad for that, because we all should be held at the end by those that love us. But even without COVID I wouldn’t have been there. His anger, abuse, and addiction napalmed that bridge so long ago. It’s hard to grieve losing someone you never. I pray for God to hold us both— him in his dying, and me in this complicated grieving. Addiction sucks.
So profoundly expressed..."its own pandemic in my birth family." This hit close to home. Thank you, Kelley, for this comment. Praying for all those who still suffer, and for those who love them. I came to HATE alcohol...and would rather lick the bottom of my shoe than drink for taking so many I loved so far from me. I had to learn to love and let go...and know that I would not, could not carry this addiction in to my own family.
My 31st Christmas season without bingeing, drinking or taking drugs. And I have only God to thank for it. Life is so much better in recovery. And actually more fun.
I always think that the bravest in the room is one who returns after a relapse - it gives me hope that if I end up picking up a drink that I can muster up enough humility and faith in God's plan that I return. May we all choose faith over fear and take it one day at a time.
I’m going through this as a loved one of an alcoholic. I’m a former drinker too. I love her but I know that she will not stop. She flatly says she will never change. I keep my boundaries in check. And just keep everything day to day.
I'm in that place where my heart knows this thing I'm praying for but my mind and tongue and fingers don't quite have it yet. It's often or always a prayer of mine because of several personal experiences. Still the heart head spirit body connection isn't realized. It's about suicide and those who attempt, complete, and live with and after those of us who are suicidal. And really for the world's perception of/attitude toward suicide. It's especially upfront today as an unchurched friend asked me to explain a cartoon to get and part of it was about Jesus healing the demoniac. She got hung up on the pigs throwing themselves off the cliff. I was able to use my own Otherness as an addict and bipolar person to give her a different perspective than get initial one. Then another friend added that people deserve to choose to kill themselves. I had a very strong, negative reaction to that and am still processing, but I am sure that the language of that statement didn't fit who I am or my experience. So your prayer tonight, Nadia, and your question help me center and let go. And I continue this nebulous prayer of mine for us all that we might live our lives together.
“I pray for everyone who is watching our friends and family destroy themselves that we might know that if love could get someone sober, it would have already happened, and that it’s ok to love and let go.“
😣 oof. That hit home. Thank you for the insight and to everyone who responded here - helps me to understand my partner and my bio family.
Lesa- praying for you. May the new year bring you increasing insight and wisdom. Coda (codependents anonymous) helped me in learning how to better love and let go.
After eight years of sobriety, I spent the last 20 years nurturing my alcoholism/addiction and created a whole lot of wreckage. Even though I found an ELCA church during all this, my wife and I became very active. Yet, I still felt called back to the program and I resisted as much as possible. After a lot of prayer, some broken bones, dents in my car....etc.... I am finally back after not being able to stay sober on my own for more than two to four days - day four was always pretty miserable. After saying that most powerful prayer - "God help me!" over and over, I have 39 days of sobriety today. Thanks for the meaningful Sunday prayer!
Since Meetings are all on-line, you can find one right now. Go. Keep going. Someone there is waiting to help you.
I love the Zoom meetings. I attend my sponsor’s home group mid-day, then my own home group in the mornings and evenings. I went to a meeting in London once. That was fun.
That one is GOD. May you find him now.
Perfect prayer for today - my sobriety date. Eight years!
congrats!
23 years ago, today, I was homeless, semi-psychotic, suicidal, trying and failing to detox myself. Today, I'm coming up on 23 years sober, buying a house, working in a homeless shelter. I appreciate and share the prayers for the poor and addicted, but damn, y'all gotta pray for shelter workers too, because we deal with some crazy shit everyday.
I pray for shelter workers and food bank workers. I pray you all have strength to continue and the faith to know your work matters to people who have lost ability to speak clearly for themselves. Thank you for the work you do. May God have mercy.
In response to your question about prayer, Nadia, there is no simple answer. I'm not good at prayer. If I say I will pray for you it will be more like prayerful meditation. I have learned the value of liturgical prayer, and why our common prayers are almost always expressed in plural rather than single terms - "our" rather than "my".
Some of those I love are in need of healing and I learned much about that from Rachel Held Evans, whom I discovered after her untimely death. I learned of you from your beautiful beatitudes which you offered as a benediction at her funeral. Some of Rachel's most powerful words on healing were in her book Searching for Sunday. I hope you will excuse my quoting them:
:..there is a difference between curing and healing, and I believe the church is called to the slow and difficult work of healing. We are called to enter into one another’s pain, anoint it as holy, and stick around no matter the outcome.
...
The thing about healing, as opposed to curing, is that it is relational. It takes time. It is inefficient, like a meandering river. Rarely does healing follow a straight or well-lit path. Rarely does it conform to our expectations or resolve in a timely manner. Walking with someone through grief, or through the process of reconciliation, requires patience, presence, and a willingness to wander, to take the scenic route.
...
And the truth is, the church doesn’t offer a cure. It doesn’t offer a quick fix. The church offers death and resurrection. The church offers the messy, inconvenient, gut-wrenching, never-ending work of healing and reconciliation. The church offers grace"
The two easiest prayer are, "Please! Please! Please!" and "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
My brother died three weeks ago from liver cirrhosis brought on by decades of addiction. He was held in his last days by our mom and his partner, and I am glad for that, because we all should be held at the end by those that love us. But even without COVID I wouldn’t have been there. His anger, abuse, and addiction napalmed that bridge so long ago. It’s hard to grieve losing someone you never. I pray for God to hold us both— him in his dying, and me in this complicated grieving. Addiction sucks.
Complicated grieving - these words helped me...
Addiction does most definitely suck - it was its own pandemic in my birth family
So profoundly expressed..."its own pandemic in my birth family." This hit close to home. Thank you, Kelley, for this comment. Praying for all those who still suffer, and for those who love them. I came to HATE alcohol...and would rather lick the bottom of my shoe than drink for taking so many I loved so far from me. I had to learn to love and let go...and know that I would not, could not carry this addiction in to my own family.
Mine too Kelley. I can relate.
My 31st Christmas season without bingeing, drinking or taking drugs. And I have only God to thank for it. Life is so much better in recovery. And actually more fun.
Yay! For the FUN of recovery! May you be blessed with 31 more years!
I always think that the bravest in the room is one who returns after a relapse - it gives me hope that if I end up picking up a drink that I can muster up enough humility and faith in God's plan that I return. May we all choose faith over fear and take it one day at a time.
For those to afraid to say out loud: I'm depressed, I'm anxious, I'm sinking.
I’m going through this as a loved one of an alcoholic. I’m a former drinker too. I love her but I know that she will not stop. She flatly says she will never change. I keep my boundaries in check. And just keep everything day to day.
I'm in that place where my heart knows this thing I'm praying for but my mind and tongue and fingers don't quite have it yet. It's often or always a prayer of mine because of several personal experiences. Still the heart head spirit body connection isn't realized. It's about suicide and those who attempt, complete, and live with and after those of us who are suicidal. And really for the world's perception of/attitude toward suicide. It's especially upfront today as an unchurched friend asked me to explain a cartoon to get and part of it was about Jesus healing the demoniac. She got hung up on the pigs throwing themselves off the cliff. I was able to use my own Otherness as an addict and bipolar person to give her a different perspective than get initial one. Then another friend added that people deserve to choose to kill themselves. I had a very strong, negative reaction to that and am still processing, but I am sure that the language of that statement didn't fit who I am or my experience. So your prayer tonight, Nadia, and your question help me center and let go. And I continue this nebulous prayer of mine for us all that we might live our lives together.
It's the greatest show on earth!
Yes! But we have to “show up!” ☺️🙏🏻
May God help me. I'm dealing with my own demons right now (benzo addiction).
Your are amazing nadia...us peeps need someone like you. Keep preaching.
I pray to remind me that it's OK to ask for help.
“I pray for everyone who is watching our friends and family destroy themselves that we might know that if love could get someone sober, it would have already happened, and that it’s ok to love and let go.“
😣 oof. That hit home. Thank you for the insight and to everyone who responded here - helps me to understand my partner and my bio family.
Lesa- praying for you. May the new year bring you increasing insight and wisdom. Coda (codependents anonymous) helped me in learning how to better love and let go.
Kelley thank you! I will look into coda!
I also checked out al-anon, but the addictions in my family were more than just alcohol...and coda was a better fit for me.
You are welcome.