There's a woman named Jenny that hangs out in my neighborhood. Biologically, she's somewhere in her 40s or 50s. Intellectually, she's closer to a fourth grader. I'm uncertain of her housing situation, but most days when the weather is decent she sits outside the CVS near Rittenhouse Square with a homemade cardboard sign that says "Free Smiles: Kindness Costs Nothing," and contentedly colors in a coloring book using a cheap dollar store art kit of markers and crayons and pastels. As people pass by, most too busy or too unwilling to notice her, she grins toward each person and says "Have a happy day!" Over and over again. "Have a happy day!" "Have a happy day!" She is eternally cheerful. Cloyingly so at times. Other than occasionally thanking people who smile at her and wave for smiling and waving, and telling me her name when I asked, this is pretty much all I'd ever heard her say until the day that she blessed me.
Several years ago, I was DEEP in grief. It had been about 11 months since my brother Nick had died, and a little over a week since my dear friend Valencia had died. I'd just come from Valencia's funeral, which was ATROCIOUS. (Turns out conservative evangelical theology isn't the most compassionate option to use in guiding decisions about a funeral for a young transgender woman.) The 10 block walk from the church to my apartment felt impossibly long, and seeing people go about their normal lives was excruciating, and I was trying to just keep it together until I got home. As I walked toward the CVS, I saw Jenny posted up in her usual spot and almost crossed the street to avoid her "Have a happy day!" to me, because I just couldn't handle that kind of optimism. But it would have meant adding to what already felt like an impossibly long walk, so I sped up and figured I'd try to hurry past her.
As I got up to her, she looked at me. I braced myself to return her greeting with whatever fake smile I could muster. But she broke out of her routine. "You look like you're having a bad day. Would you like to color?" It stopped me in my tracks. The tears started to come. I couldn't even speak, so I just took the coloring book she had extended my way, nodded, and sat down next to her in the middle of a sidewalk in the middle of Center City Philadelphia on a busy Saturday afternoon. I don't know what people around me thought of this, but who the hell cares. I kept waiting for Jenny to do as all my other well-intended friends had, and start making her way through the Rolodex of questions that get lobbed in the direction of the grieving. She didn't. She just quietly sat there, greeting passers-by with "have a happy day" and occasionally scooted the markers in my direction making sure I knew it was okay to use as many colors as I wanted. I don't know how long I sat there, but eventually I stood up and said I should get going. I thanked her for her kindness and for sharing her coloring supplies. She grinned her big beautiful grin at me and said. "Kindness costs nothing. God bless you." I don't think any blessing will ever hit me as hard as that one did. I still tear up when I think of it.
Oh wow! I'm reading this sat waiting for my partner to turn up in a restaurant. I'm trying to not let the tears flow at this utter beautifulness. Beautiful and humbling. Thanks for sharing. Now I'm off to the loo for a proper greet (as we say in Scotland... Cry)
That was incredibly beautiful. As a songwriter, I thought this needed to be told in music. As a fellow blogger, I wondered if I might post as a guest blog in my small universe… it is a story that needs to be shared…a beautiful moment …a sacred gift…
Reading about the woman who first laid down to receive the blessing, followed by a few others moved me to tears. Hearing the song softened my heart and hearing how you applied it broke this heart open in the best possible way. What a blessing! 🙏
After worship a week ago in our very traditional, liturgical context, the couple behind my husband and me tapped me on the shoulder, raised her hand and told me she felt moved to offer us a blessing for safe harvest (we are farmers). I delighted in the unexpected nature of it, her willingness to reach out, and in how it has resonated within me ever since - offering me a blanket of care and community.
Thank you, Nadia. I love how you use the word "Holy". Whether in written form or when you use it live, it's like a benediction in itself. You seem to never use the word lightly. Often you are REVEALING someone's holiness. Pointing out that someone is beloved by God and now recognized by us. And in this way, it becomes an enactment of healing, so badly needed in the moment.
When listening to you live or by audio, I am moved by the SOUND of the word as you carefully express it . . . "Holy". With a very gentle "h", letting the word float from your mouth and hover there. Your emphasis is seemingly on the "o", giving it just a micro-second more time, allowing us to feel its blessing settle around us. "Holy . . . ". And I also sense a generous pause after the "y", allowing time to savor the very feeling of being blessed. "Holy . . . ". What is wonderful to me, is that since I've heard you on audio recordings many times, I now hear your caring tone when I merely read your words. And so that word, that blessing, "Holy . . . ", I feel come to me. It actually has brought me to tears a few times. It brings me hope.
So thank you, Nadia. Thank you for revealing the holiness in those around us. Thank you for the blessing.
Before Alexi Navalny was killed, I would send blessings to him in prison. I would also send blessings (and still do) to the Ukrainian people suffering through war. At night, before sleep, I focus and imagine my blessings floating above me and gathering strength. Then they travel across the globe and sprinkle down upon the recipients... like dew fall.
Very early in my journey of faith as an adult (62 back then) I went to the Episcopal Cathedral in Seattle. It was a horrible time for me trying to understand my daughter’s addiction. I listened for a couple weeks before I decided to join the communion line. I chose ,then, to receive a blessing instead of bread and wine. The priest, Jennifer, laid her hand on my shoulder and say, “Remember every day that you are loved.” That hit me like a brick, and I went back to her every Sunday for weeks until I was ready for bread and wine. Life changing experience for me. Aaaaand my kiddo is 3 1/2 years sober! So many blessings.
This touched me in a deep pet of my soul!!! I just finished helping in a Soul Return Sacred Circle and I wish I had known this! It is beautiful!! Thank you for being you! Much love and gratitude!
In my 20’s I was part of a university chaplaincy and was frequently moved by group singing. I became disillusioned and saddened by the church and left. It’s been 40 years and reading and listening this morning reminded me of the absolutely incredible power of community using their voices to bless. I am raising my voice to send you and your beloved a blessing.
I received a blessing for the first time several years back. I had been away from the Catholic Church for decades and never found another denomination. So there was another woman in our small Episcopal group who was going to have a blessing and brought her family and friends with her. Our priest explained what was going to happen. We all wore masks that day to keep the woman safe. When the time came for the blessing she went up with all her family and friends?
Afterwards our priest asked if anyone else would like to come up and I found myself popping out of my seat and asking for a blessing. Astonished as I instantly was we got going. Shortly as after the priest started the priest said the same person asked if I wanted her to come up to be with me and I said yes. Another person was getting up and then seemed apprehensive I waved her over and she came. 🤷🏻♀️ The blessing was so moving and when I turned around most of our small group had come up as well. I was astonished. I had no idea. I felt so taken care of. This still feels surprising to say but I felt in the presence of Christ right there. Not a feeling I was use to.
Song circles are so powerful! We sing this one in the circle I attend in LA and it's precious. Thank you for sharing your process with becoming a song leader. May we all be so brave to "submit" to a blessing.
What in the name of somatic (I just learned this word a few weeks ago) therapy is happening here?! :) Am I tracking this right: get in a circle, sing, chant?, step in the circle if you want a blessing, lay hands, cry/release?? How do you avoid the cult vibes? I cannot envision this happening with a group of guys but I am willing to try! Are we making up lyrics? I have a lot of questions but am loving that for you'll.
Also, if you want to send some blessings my way, please do. Struggling with God's embodiment in this world with the global and personal struggling hapenning. Like, where you at Lord?
I was in Colombia visiting the family of my nephew’s wife. As I departed her cousin made the sign of the cross over me. I have been blessed many times by clergy, but never before by a lay person. A peace came over me that I have rarely experienced. I realized then that, yes, of course we laity can make the sign of the cross and offer a blessing. And I exercised that power last week when my young neighbor, a fighter pilot, shipped out for his first deployment in the Persian Gulf.
Thank you. I especially loved the blessing for a friend over her body because I'm dealing with that issue daily.
As for receiving blessings, there are so many times to recount that I'd probably be talking through eternity. Some of the simplest blessings have been in the form of being trusted to hear a person's truth. Other times, that blessing has been in the form of receiving forgiveness.
In my 12-Step program, I needed to make amends to my older brother and his wife. I drove the 60 miles (or so) to their home. As we sat outside on their deck, I apologized for things I'd said and done to cause harm. He said, "Oh, we already forgave you for that." It hadn't been spoken of, so I didn't know. Probably that's a good thing because at the time it happened (shortly after our mom died) I'd not have received their forgiveness; I felt justified in my actions and words.
To learn 4 or 5 years afterward that they had already wiped the slate clean was a revelation and a blessing.
I wish I had had the blessing for your friend when my husband had his stomach-banding surgery. Everything changed for him, for awhile. He has passed on to eternal life, but his "legacy" remains in our daughters, and I am sharing this with them today.
There's a woman named Jenny that hangs out in my neighborhood. Biologically, she's somewhere in her 40s or 50s. Intellectually, she's closer to a fourth grader. I'm uncertain of her housing situation, but most days when the weather is decent she sits outside the CVS near Rittenhouse Square with a homemade cardboard sign that says "Free Smiles: Kindness Costs Nothing," and contentedly colors in a coloring book using a cheap dollar store art kit of markers and crayons and pastels. As people pass by, most too busy or too unwilling to notice her, she grins toward each person and says "Have a happy day!" Over and over again. "Have a happy day!" "Have a happy day!" She is eternally cheerful. Cloyingly so at times. Other than occasionally thanking people who smile at her and wave for smiling and waving, and telling me her name when I asked, this is pretty much all I'd ever heard her say until the day that she blessed me.
Several years ago, I was DEEP in grief. It had been about 11 months since my brother Nick had died, and a little over a week since my dear friend Valencia had died. I'd just come from Valencia's funeral, which was ATROCIOUS. (Turns out conservative evangelical theology isn't the most compassionate option to use in guiding decisions about a funeral for a young transgender woman.) The 10 block walk from the church to my apartment felt impossibly long, and seeing people go about their normal lives was excruciating, and I was trying to just keep it together until I got home. As I walked toward the CVS, I saw Jenny posted up in her usual spot and almost crossed the street to avoid her "Have a happy day!" to me, because I just couldn't handle that kind of optimism. But it would have meant adding to what already felt like an impossibly long walk, so I sped up and figured I'd try to hurry past her.
As I got up to her, she looked at me. I braced myself to return her greeting with whatever fake smile I could muster. But she broke out of her routine. "You look like you're having a bad day. Would you like to color?" It stopped me in my tracks. The tears started to come. I couldn't even speak, so I just took the coloring book she had extended my way, nodded, and sat down next to her in the middle of a sidewalk in the middle of Center City Philadelphia on a busy Saturday afternoon. I don't know what people around me thought of this, but who the hell cares. I kept waiting for Jenny to do as all my other well-intended friends had, and start making her way through the Rolodex of questions that get lobbed in the direction of the grieving. She didn't. She just quietly sat there, greeting passers-by with "have a happy day" and occasionally scooted the markers in my direction making sure I knew it was okay to use as many colors as I wanted. I don't know how long I sat there, but eventually I stood up and said I should get going. I thanked her for her kindness and for sharing her coloring supplies. She grinned her big beautiful grin at me and said. "Kindness costs nothing. God bless you." I don't think any blessing will ever hit me as hard as that one did. I still tear up when I think of it.
Oh wow! I'm reading this sat waiting for my partner to turn up in a restaurant. I'm trying to not let the tears flow at this utter beautifulness. Beautiful and humbling. Thanks for sharing. Now I'm off to the loo for a proper greet (as we say in Scotland... Cry)
That was incredibly beautiful. As a songwriter, I thought this needed to be told in music. As a fellow blogger, I wondered if I might post as a guest blog in my small universe… it is a story that needs to be shared…a beautiful moment …a sacred gift…
Beautiful story. Also sad. And inspiring. And thanks for the reminder that it is “okay to use as many colors as you want.”
Reading about the woman who first laid down to receive the blessing, followed by a few others moved me to tears. Hearing the song softened my heart and hearing how you applied it broke this heart open in the best possible way. What a blessing! 🙏
Beautiful. I closed my eyes and listened to the audio and was absolutely blessed. Thank you.
After worship a week ago in our very traditional, liturgical context, the couple behind my husband and me tapped me on the shoulder, raised her hand and told me she felt moved to offer us a blessing for safe harvest (we are farmers). I delighted in the unexpected nature of it, her willingness to reach out, and in how it has resonated within me ever since - offering me a blanket of care and community.
Thank you, Nadia. I love how you use the word "Holy". Whether in written form or when you use it live, it's like a benediction in itself. You seem to never use the word lightly. Often you are REVEALING someone's holiness. Pointing out that someone is beloved by God and now recognized by us. And in this way, it becomes an enactment of healing, so badly needed in the moment.
When listening to you live or by audio, I am moved by the SOUND of the word as you carefully express it . . . "Holy". With a very gentle "h", letting the word float from your mouth and hover there. Your emphasis is seemingly on the "o", giving it just a micro-second more time, allowing us to feel its blessing settle around us. "Holy . . . ". And I also sense a generous pause after the "y", allowing time to savor the very feeling of being blessed. "Holy . . . ". What is wonderful to me, is that since I've heard you on audio recordings many times, I now hear your caring tone when I merely read your words. And so that word, that blessing, "Holy . . . ", I feel come to me. It actually has brought me to tears a few times. It brings me hope.
So thank you, Nadia. Thank you for revealing the holiness in those around us. Thank you for the blessing.
David
Before Alexi Navalny was killed, I would send blessings to him in prison. I would also send blessings (and still do) to the Ukrainian people suffering through war. At night, before sleep, I focus and imagine my blessings floating above me and gathering strength. Then they travel across the globe and sprinkle down upon the recipients... like dew fall.
Beautiful.
Your blessing to your friend struggling with the change in their body was also for me. 🙏🏼🙌🏼❤️
Very early in my journey of faith as an adult (62 back then) I went to the Episcopal Cathedral in Seattle. It was a horrible time for me trying to understand my daughter’s addiction. I listened for a couple weeks before I decided to join the communion line. I chose ,then, to receive a blessing instead of bread and wine. The priest, Jennifer, laid her hand on my shoulder and say, “Remember every day that you are loved.” That hit me like a brick, and I went back to her every Sunday for weeks until I was ready for bread and wine. Life changing experience for me. Aaaaand my kiddo is 3 1/2 years sober! So many blessings.
This touched me in a deep pet of my soul!!! I just finished helping in a Soul Return Sacred Circle and I wish I had known this! It is beautiful!! Thank you for being you! Much love and gratitude!
In my 20’s I was part of a university chaplaincy and was frequently moved by group singing. I became disillusioned and saddened by the church and left. It’s been 40 years and reading and listening this morning reminded me of the absolutely incredible power of community using their voices to bless. I am raising my voice to send you and your beloved a blessing.
Renee
I received a blessing for the first time several years back. I had been away from the Catholic Church for decades and never found another denomination. So there was another woman in our small Episcopal group who was going to have a blessing and brought her family and friends with her. Our priest explained what was going to happen. We all wore masks that day to keep the woman safe. When the time came for the blessing she went up with all her family and friends?
Afterwards our priest asked if anyone else would like to come up and I found myself popping out of my seat and asking for a blessing. Astonished as I instantly was we got going. Shortly as after the priest started the priest said the same person asked if I wanted her to come up to be with me and I said yes. Another person was getting up and then seemed apprehensive I waved her over and she came. 🤷🏻♀️ The blessing was so moving and when I turned around most of our small group had come up as well. I was astonished. I had no idea. I felt so taken care of. This still feels surprising to say but I felt in the presence of Christ right there. Not a feeling I was use to.
Song circles are so powerful! We sing this one in the circle I attend in LA and it's precious. Thank you for sharing your process with becoming a song leader. May we all be so brave to "submit" to a blessing.
What in the name of somatic (I just learned this word a few weeks ago) therapy is happening here?! :) Am I tracking this right: get in a circle, sing, chant?, step in the circle if you want a blessing, lay hands, cry/release?? How do you avoid the cult vibes? I cannot envision this happening with a group of guys but I am willing to try! Are we making up lyrics? I have a lot of questions but am loving that for you'll.
Also, if you want to send some blessings my way, please do. Struggling with God's embodiment in this world with the global and personal struggling hapenning. Like, where you at Lord?
I was in Colombia visiting the family of my nephew’s wife. As I departed her cousin made the sign of the cross over me. I have been blessed many times by clergy, but never before by a lay person. A peace came over me that I have rarely experienced. I realized then that, yes, of course we laity can make the sign of the cross and offer a blessing. And I exercised that power last week when my young neighbor, a fighter pilot, shipped out for his first deployment in the Persian Gulf.
Thank you. I especially loved the blessing for a friend over her body because I'm dealing with that issue daily.
As for receiving blessings, there are so many times to recount that I'd probably be talking through eternity. Some of the simplest blessings have been in the form of being trusted to hear a person's truth. Other times, that blessing has been in the form of receiving forgiveness.
In my 12-Step program, I needed to make amends to my older brother and his wife. I drove the 60 miles (or so) to their home. As we sat outside on their deck, I apologized for things I'd said and done to cause harm. He said, "Oh, we already forgave you for that." It hadn't been spoken of, so I didn't know. Probably that's a good thing because at the time it happened (shortly after our mom died) I'd not have received their forgiveness; I felt justified in my actions and words.
To learn 4 or 5 years afterward that they had already wiped the slate clean was a revelation and a blessing.
I wish I had had the blessing for your friend when my husband had his stomach-banding surgery. Everything changed for him, for awhile. He has passed on to eternal life, but his "legacy" remains in our daughters, and I am sharing this with them today.