Once again, Nadia, I'm crying.... Cleansing tears as I read your gorgeous words and listen to gorgeous music (the Festival of Lessons and Carols from King's College, live as I type this.).
I was in prison for eight Christmases. I stopped going to chapel because even on Christmas the service was all about Substitutionary Atonement - a message telling all those wounded little children in grown-up bodies that they were so disgusting in the eyes of God, that God was so unforgiving, that it took a human sacrifice to appease God's righteous wrath. It was spiritual abuse.
Then I found a tiny, progressive congregation and heard the authentic, glorious Good News of the Light shining in the darkness. The chaplain, who presided over the "main" service, barely tolerated us. But in 2019 he allowed us to publicize a "Blue Christmas" service - inviting people for whom Christmas is not a happy time. Dozens of people came. The message - brought by a volunteer from the "free world," like you do so faithfully - was "the Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
We hoped to make this an annual event, but COVID shut everything down for 2020 and we were confined to our cells. On Christmas Eve that year my spirits were lifted by the sound of two men in an adjacent cell, saying the Rosary together. "Hail Mary, full of grace, blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus."
I was released in May, 2021, before any services had resumed. I was mourning the death of friends who had been killed by the disease as it swept through the prison. I had left a letter and a book behind, hoping they would be found by the volunteers who led our little fellowship. The book was by a dear friend of mine, Kathy Escobar, a pastor whose son had died by suicide the year before. Its title is "A Weary World." That phrase is from "O Holy Night." The line is, "A weary world rejoices." To which Kathy adds, "Maybe our weary hearts can, too." And she writes, "Let the tears fall."
Nadia, you are saving lives. Jesus said of you, "You are the light of the world." And you are. I want to be, too.
Brother please take my spoiled life and give me your suffering, my heart breaks that you’ve endured this. I only hope that you are healing and have love around you. How I wish your burdens had been on my shoulders instead of yours. Please have a happy Christmas.
Thank you, Don, for this kind note. I love your beautiful heart. I am doing astonishingly well. Yes, I have experienced and am experiencing healing and serenity. I can tell by this brief note that you have a wonderful capacity to bless others. Your life isn't spoiled! May you experience an abundance of grace this season and always!
“This is the thing about light my friends, even the tiniest bit of light scatters the deepest darkness. It never happens the other way around. Never. Darkness has no effect on light. Darkness cannot touch it, cannot extinguish it, cannot do a thing to it.”
Depression is a prison that our minds and body build from the inside out, wherever we are. (Not to diminish the importance of ALWAYS reminding ourselves to pray for all who are incarcerated, as my pen pal Chad is.) Being reminded that "A light shines in your depression and your depression cannot overpower it" is a message I needed. Thank you!
Thanks Nadia for yet another message that pierces the soul….and thanks for introducing me to Scott the Painter. I have subscribed to his newsletter - yet another beacon to start my days. 🎄♥️💚♥️🎄
Dear Sister I've never met... 95% of life these days, I don't feel any loss from leaving the Evangelical church. I am in that other 5%-- I enjoy having no other people in my life than my family. Tonight, I miss having a pastor to 'confess' to.
I fucked up. My business income for the year is $400. A woman I've never met wanted to buy some illustrations for an outrageously large amount of money, in order to auction them as NFTs.
It hasn't gone as I imagined it would. It may not be over, and I cling to the hope. I've emptied most of my accounts doing this; a significant amount from money that I was supposed to get approval for using.
Simultaneously, I've been advertising in the UK, Vanity Fair and its collection of other magazines for most of a year. I did not figure out how much it would cost, and the overdue bills have come through.
My wife is somewhat surprisingly not upset. Grace Gift.
I began a deeper journey into Faith at 21, in college. I had never darkened the door of a church. That was February of 1973. Going on 52 years ago. I made a 90 degree turn in my life. I was in Evangelical environments until the Pandemic. There was a lot I was taught, a lot that I ignored, as being a stupid idea. The first chapter of John is one of the places where I 'planted my flag.' There's this evangelical owl on one shoulder telling me that I am a failure like George Bailey. In the past, I often used the phrase, the' battle of Bedford Falls'. I watched the movie tonight, cried, and wished I had my own Clarence to talk with.
What a moving Christmas sermon, dear Nadia. I just thought today after visiting the Christmas Eve service that sermons are probably the wrong way to celebrate Christmas. But then I read your sermon. Not only do I love the John story so much more than any other, the way you speak about it and the context you speak into all brought light into the darkness indeed. Bless you for your service and for carrying the light.
I went to Candlelight Mass at my old Baptist church tonight for the first time in years and the Pastor there said the same thing: "A light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overpowered it."
A message vital to any ol time of the year.
Merry Christmas and God bless you, Nadia. And to anyone who comments on this post tonight: God bless you too.
Once again, Nadia, I'm crying.... Cleansing tears as I read your gorgeous words and listen to gorgeous music (the Festival of Lessons and Carols from King's College, live as I type this.).
I was in prison for eight Christmases. I stopped going to chapel because even on Christmas the service was all about Substitutionary Atonement - a message telling all those wounded little children in grown-up bodies that they were so disgusting in the eyes of God, that God was so unforgiving, that it took a human sacrifice to appease God's righteous wrath. It was spiritual abuse.
Then I found a tiny, progressive congregation and heard the authentic, glorious Good News of the Light shining in the darkness. The chaplain, who presided over the "main" service, barely tolerated us. But in 2019 he allowed us to publicize a "Blue Christmas" service - inviting people for whom Christmas is not a happy time. Dozens of people came. The message - brought by a volunteer from the "free world," like you do so faithfully - was "the Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
We hoped to make this an annual event, but COVID shut everything down for 2020 and we were confined to our cells. On Christmas Eve that year my spirits were lifted by the sound of two men in an adjacent cell, saying the Rosary together. "Hail Mary, full of grace, blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus."
I was released in May, 2021, before any services had resumed. I was mourning the death of friends who had been killed by the disease as it swept through the prison. I had left a letter and a book behind, hoping they would be found by the volunteers who led our little fellowship. The book was by a dear friend of mine, Kathy Escobar, a pastor whose son had died by suicide the year before. Its title is "A Weary World." That phrase is from "O Holy Night." The line is, "A weary world rejoices." To which Kathy adds, "Maybe our weary hearts can, too." And she writes, "Let the tears fall."
Nadia, you are saving lives. Jesus said of you, "You are the light of the world." And you are. I want to be, too.
Thank you for this note, Richard. I've known Kathy a long time, what a beautiful human. Sending you love. Merry Christmas.
Thank you for sharing your story, Richard. It moved my heart. Much blessings to you.
Brother please take my spoiled life and give me your suffering, my heart breaks that you’ve endured this. I only hope that you are healing and have love around you. How I wish your burdens had been on my shoulders instead of yours. Please have a happy Christmas.
Thank you, Don, for this kind note. I love your beautiful heart. I am doing astonishingly well. Yes, I have experienced and am experiencing healing and serenity. I can tell by this brief note that you have a wonderful capacity to bless others. Your life isn't spoiled! May you experience an abundance of grace this season and always!
This is what I’m holding:
“This is the thing about light my friends, even the tiniest bit of light scatters the deepest darkness. It never happens the other way around. Never. Darkness has no effect on light. Darkness cannot touch it, cannot extinguish it, cannot do a thing to it.”
Thank you ~
First of all Happy Christmas to all you lovable bags of water!
"Pirate" was in the Gilbert & Sullivan Operetta on Jesus's ministry.
Pilate's nanny takes him to the local scoundrels of the Mediterranean, instead of the Roman Governor like she was supposed to.
"...I thought he said a 'Pirate'..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQaJn11t94M
"Christmas in Prison" by John Prine:
It was Christmas in prison
And the food was real good
We had turkey and pistols
Carved out of wood
And I dream of her always
Even when I don't dream
Her name's on my tongue
And her blood's in my stream
Wait awhile eternity
Old mother nature's got nothing on me
Come to me
Run to me
Come to me, now
We're rolling
My sweetheart
We're flowing
By God
She reminds me of a chess game
With someone I admire
Or a picnic in the rain
After a prairie fire
Her heart is as big
As this whole goddamn jail
And she's sweeter than saccharine
At a drug store sale
Wait awhile eternity
Old mother nature's got nothing on me
Come to me
Run to me
Come to me, now
We're rolling
My sweetheart
We're flowing
By God
The search light in the big yard
Swings round with the gun
And spotlights the snowflakes
Like the dust in the sun
It's Christmas in prison
There'll be music tonight
I'll probably get homesick
I love you
Goodnight
Wait awhile eternity
Old mother nature's got nothing on me
Come to me
Run to me
Come to me, now
We're rolling
My sweetheart
We're flowing
By God
John Prine, probably my favorite vocalist. I miss him and his wisdom.
I loved him too. Sad that he's gone...
I love that song. I listen to it every Christmas.
Depression is a prison that our minds and body build from the inside out, wherever we are. (Not to diminish the importance of ALWAYS reminding ourselves to pray for all who are incarcerated, as my pen pal Chad is.) Being reminded that "A light shines in your depression and your depression cannot overpower it" is a message I needed. Thank you!
Thanks Nadia for yet another message that pierces the soul….and thanks for introducing me to Scott the Painter. I have subscribed to his newsletter - yet another beacon to start my days. 🎄♥️💚♥️🎄
Merry Christmas, Nadia. Thank you for letting YOUR light so shine. This is a message I will want to revisit often.
Thank you for your work, your words-you bring me hope that Christianity can still be relevant in a twisted world.....
CODA:
as the music swells, robed nadia ceremonially raises a double-fisted, single-fingered salute to all things dark.
TACIT.
Thanks, Nadia, I really needed to hear this. I feel like my light is barely flickering.
Wow, Nadia! Thank you for bring light to this dark night of the soul.
Without light there is no darkness. We need light. When it is dark, we see nothing, but then a candle lights and the world lights up.
A light shines in the Evangelical American church, and the Evangelical American church cannot overcome it.
Dear Sister I've never met... 95% of life these days, I don't feel any loss from leaving the Evangelical church. I am in that other 5%-- I enjoy having no other people in my life than my family. Tonight, I miss having a pastor to 'confess' to.
I fucked up. My business income for the year is $400. A woman I've never met wanted to buy some illustrations for an outrageously large amount of money, in order to auction them as NFTs.
It hasn't gone as I imagined it would. It may not be over, and I cling to the hope. I've emptied most of my accounts doing this; a significant amount from money that I was supposed to get approval for using.
Simultaneously, I've been advertising in the UK, Vanity Fair and its collection of other magazines for most of a year. I did not figure out how much it would cost, and the overdue bills have come through.
My wife is somewhat surprisingly not upset. Grace Gift.
I began a deeper journey into Faith at 21, in college. I had never darkened the door of a church. That was February of 1973. Going on 52 years ago. I made a 90 degree turn in my life. I was in Evangelical environments until the Pandemic. There was a lot I was taught, a lot that I ignored, as being a stupid idea. The first chapter of John is one of the places where I 'planted my flag.' There's this evangelical owl on one shoulder telling me that I am a failure like George Bailey. In the past, I often used the phrase, the' battle of Bedford Falls'. I watched the movie tonight, cried, and wished I had my own Clarence to talk with.
It is better now. Thanks, Marty
What a moving Christmas sermon, dear Nadia. I just thought today after visiting the Christmas Eve service that sermons are probably the wrong way to celebrate Christmas. But then I read your sermon. Not only do I love the John story so much more than any other, the way you speak about it and the context you speak into all brought light into the darkness indeed. Bless you for your service and for carrying the light.
Before I retired, I never put "sermon" in the bulletin. It was always "message." Nadia continues to bring me messages. Blessed, sweet messages.
I went to Candlelight Mass at my old Baptist church tonight for the first time in years and the Pastor there said the same thing: "A light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overpowered it."
A message vital to any ol time of the year.
Merry Christmas and God bless you, Nadia. And to anyone who comments on this post tonight: God bless you too.