Thank you as a white and privileged woman I know I misunderstood what life was like in the corners. It reminds me of a poem I found when almost 50 years ago I was studying to be a special education teacher.
They drew a circle that shut him out
Heretic,rebel, a thing to flout
But love and I had the wit to win
We drew a circle and took him in
Either we widen our circles or move to the corners.
This is the 2nd time I've seen this wonderful poem. The first was through a book I relied on many years ago while navigating the challenging terrain of becoming a new stepmom. ("They drew a circle that shut me out ..... but love and I had the wit to win ... we drew a circle that took them in!") The author wrote, "It hurts to be excluded, overlooked or judged. It hurts--alot! And that the only road out is the one Jesus took and the one he continually urges us onto: the road that reaches back out in unconditional love. The next time someone draws a circle to shut you out, take poet Markham's advice and draw a bigger circle. (A Rose for Nana by Carol Greenwood)
Love this. My husband posted it on his wall at the office when coworkers, who were supposed to be his supporters and mentors, attempted to sabotage his efforts.
I hang with homeless, addicted and mentally ill people a couple of times a week. We write and talk and eat. I am grateful to be welcome in their corner.
Love this whole reflection! As an introvert I often go to the corners where it's quiet and observe all the extrovert action. Sometimes there are a few of us there and we gently connect.
Thank you for creating this space for those of us who feel like corner people. Two years ago my younger son took his own life and I do feel like a failure as a mother . Yes , I have 3 other adult children but what did I miss in my son that was aching inside him.
If you can watch Nadia's video on suicide and those of us left behind. I pray you'll find some peace in it. I can't find the link but the gist of it was that we cannot beat our selves up for the things we might have/should have/wished we'd...done. That person is now with our Lord and healed fully and at peace. Perhaps Nadia will see this and repost that wonderful video for all of us who have lost family through tragedy.
You are not alone. We lost our 21 YO daughter 2 years ago as well. While the grief and specific loss are intimate, knowing that there are others holding "the same" pain as we move forward has been helpful to me. Thank you for your courage in sharing this tender information.
I lost my 22yo son to suicide 11 years ago. So many layers of emotion and thought, a long journey of grief and discovery. Just a few minutes ago before I read your post I had an unexpected moment of deep sadness, anger, hurt, regret, and just missing him..struck again by the unfair loss of his beautiful life. Your post reminded me that I'm not alone, we're not alone, and how we get through it ...is together. Much love to you.
In this space - I think and hold each of you this moment and summon God's glory to find you - shine upon you - the missing part is so very hard. May you SEE your loved one today - and that seeing brings you joy.
As a former member of the Mormon church, I always found myself in the corners, with the pierced, tattooed, and dyed ones, the ones who swore, drank caffeine, and *gasp* the feminists. Thank you for creating this space and giving me messages that have brought me more hope and peace in the past few years than I had in a lifetime of Mormonism.
Hi Andrea, I too am a former Mormon. I tried so hard to be “perfect” and found that no matter what I did I couldn’t be. I am so glad to have found healing and real hope in Jesus. So glad you made it out and to this life affirming place!
Wow a lot of former Mormons here. Me too and I’m just glad to know that you guys are out there. I’m still close to my family and mourn for them every time I see them (even though I was not just pushed to the corner lol I was pretty much expelled entirely as the one scapegoat kid out of six. My brother who was not forced out recently died of a heroin overdose. My brothers and sister in laws sometimes seem like they are going to implode trying to stay fake happy and fake perfect. But I have grace and I have Jesus and that helps so much and it helps to know that my brother who died is with God and safe. They were all petrified that he wasn’t. I had to tell them but this time they actually seemed to believe about something. Blessings and I’d love to hear more from you and especially how you interact with your family.
This is beautiful. This is me for sure. For so long I didnt understand why I was in the corner. Im so thankful for people like you and Rachel and Sarah.
I am well-watered, having lived under that central pivot my whole life. But as being “Christian” is coming to mean something In the USA these days that I don’t identify with... I feel like that center pivot system is kind of in the distance. I turn around and find that I’m in the corner... with all of you. :)
I am most comfortable touching wretched souls, I'm a nurse with a wretched soul and choose to go where the physicians do not. Corners, shadows, ego, sinner, slut and drunk I am.
Margaret, I too am the same.....I choose to “sit” on Holy Ground with abused, neglected, drug addicted, cutting children, who have been kicked to the curb so many times.
I, too ,am with a wretched soul, dirty, battered, bloody. Ashamed.
Ahhh the corners, the only place I can find home. I have always considered myself a misfit. Autism had made much of what many take for granted in their faith walk difficult for me. Yet I keep chasing after Christ with my limp convinced that there is something about him. I used to hate being a misfit but then I started collecting other misfits and telling them even if they didn't have a place to be in the world they had a friend in me.
I grateful for you Nadia. Thanks for including me.
Nadia, isn't it interesting that the first places filled in a church sanctuary, are the back "corners." As I reflect on your words, I can't help asking a different question. The church goers who sit in the back corners, are often those who complain the loudest. Are these folks intentionally sitting where they can be seen, but just out of reach of the living water offered during worship? What are your thoughts?
Thank you for this opportunity to discern with you our call to serve God's people.
I sit on the very last pew in the balcony of my Southern relatively conservative church building. I sit here so I can dance, chant, shout, bow, or whatever comes to me in Spirit. I do this in the corner because the centers find it alarming and uncouth. Perhaps they are watered down and stuck in the quagmire. Perhaps the corners have ground for dancing. 💃🏼 🕺🏼
I have heard comment that people "self rank" themselves by where they choose to sit in church. The closer to the front the more religious...the back pews for those who don't feel quite so "worthy". Haven't experienced the back pews complaining the loudest.
For some of us, though, where we sit is determined by much more humdrum, practical reasons, like proximity to washrooms, or the nursery, where we can hear, or where we are least distractible, or simply where the seating is most accessible....
This is one of my favorite images; thank you for it. And hello to everyone, I hope that you know that you have a kindred spirit in me, and that today I'm praying for all of us to feel seen and known by God.
Thank you as a white and privileged woman I know I misunderstood what life was like in the corners. It reminds me of a poem I found when almost 50 years ago I was studying to be a special education teacher.
They drew a circle that shut him out
Heretic,rebel, a thing to flout
But love and I had the wit to win
We drew a circle and took him in
Either we widen our circles or move to the corners.
Edwin Markham
This is the 2nd time I've seen this wonderful poem. The first was through a book I relied on many years ago while navigating the challenging terrain of becoming a new stepmom. ("They drew a circle that shut me out ..... but love and I had the wit to win ... we drew a circle that took them in!") The author wrote, "It hurts to be excluded, overlooked or judged. It hurts--alot! And that the only road out is the one Jesus took and the one he continually urges us onto: the road that reaches back out in unconditional love. The next time someone draws a circle to shut you out, take poet Markham's advice and draw a bigger circle. (A Rose for Nana by Carol Greenwood)
WOW!! That’s fabulous!!!!!
❤️
So beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing it.
Love this. My husband posted it on his wall at the office when coworkers, who were supposed to be his supporters and mentors, attempted to sabotage his efforts.
Thank you for sharing that bit of verse. <3
Either we widen our circles or go to the corners.
I hang with homeless, addicted and mentally ill people a couple of times a week. We write and talk and eat. I am grateful to be welcome in their corner.
Love this whole reflection! As an introvert I often go to the corners where it's quiet and observe all the extrovert action. Sometimes there are a few of us there and we gently connect.
Thank you for creating this space for those of us who feel like corner people. Two years ago my younger son took his own life and I do feel like a failure as a mother . Yes , I have 3 other adult children but what did I miss in my son that was aching inside him.
If you can watch Nadia's video on suicide and those of us left behind. I pray you'll find some peace in it. I can't find the link but the gist of it was that we cannot beat our selves up for the things we might have/should have/wished we'd...done. That person is now with our Lord and healed fully and at peace. Perhaps Nadia will see this and repost that wonderful video for all of us who have lost family through tragedy.
Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OGMKhkUSTk
You are not alone. We lost our 21 YO daughter 2 years ago as well. While the grief and specific loss are intimate, knowing that there are others holding "the same" pain as we move forward has been helpful to me. Thank you for your courage in sharing this tender information.
I lost my 22yo son to suicide 11 years ago. So many layers of emotion and thought, a long journey of grief and discovery. Just a few minutes ago before I read your post I had an unexpected moment of deep sadness, anger, hurt, regret, and just missing him..struck again by the unfair loss of his beautiful life. Your post reminded me that I'm not alone, we're not alone, and how we get through it ...is together. Much love to you.
Katie, I hear your pain and see you in the corner, and I am praying for your heartache to ease.
In this space - I think and hold each of you this moment and summon God's glory to find you - shine upon you - the missing part is so very hard. May you SEE your loved one today - and that seeing brings you joy.
You are not a failure.
I've lost a son too. It's a pain that never goes away. Grieving with you.
Grief has got to be the toughest corner. I am sorry for your pain and sorrow.
Katie I'm so sorry for your loss. My words can't touch that grief, I know, but I pray time will ease its severity.
I'm so very sorry for your loss, Katie <3
As a former member of the Mormon church, I always found myself in the corners, with the pierced, tattooed, and dyed ones, the ones who swore, drank caffeine, and *gasp* the feminists. Thank you for creating this space and giving me messages that have brought me more hope and peace in the past few years than I had in a lifetime of Mormonism.
Hi Andrea, I too am a former Mormon. I tried so hard to be “perfect” and found that no matter what I did I couldn’t be. I am so glad to have found healing and real hope in Jesus. So glad you made it out and to this life affirming place!
Wow a lot of former Mormons here. Me too and I’m just glad to know that you guys are out there. I’m still close to my family and mourn for them every time I see them (even though I was not just pushed to the corner lol I was pretty much expelled entirely as the one scapegoat kid out of six. My brother who was not forced out recently died of a heroin overdose. My brothers and sister in laws sometimes seem like they are going to implode trying to stay fake happy and fake perfect. But I have grace and I have Jesus and that helps so much and it helps to know that my brother who died is with God and safe. They were all petrified that he wasn’t. I had to tell them but this time they actually seemed to believe about something. Blessings and I’d love to hear more from you and especially how you interact with your family.
This is beautiful. This is me for sure. For so long I didnt understand why I was in the corner. Im so thankful for people like you and Rachel and Sarah.
I am well-watered, having lived under that central pivot my whole life. But as being “Christian” is coming to mean something In the USA these days that I don’t identify with... I feel like that center pivot system is kind of in the distance. I turn around and find that I’m in the corner... with all of you. :)
I am most comfortable touching wretched souls, I'm a nurse with a wretched soul and choose to go where the physicians do not. Corners, shadows, ego, sinner, slut and drunk I am.
Margaret, I too am the same.....I choose to “sit” on Holy Ground with abused, neglected, drug addicted, cutting children, who have been kicked to the curb so many times.
I, too ,am with a wretched soul, dirty, battered, bloody. Ashamed.
Oh! Things we hide are “ lifting weights” while we ignore them. What clarity you just gave me. Thank you.
I’ve been longing for a place like this for years. I’m looking forward to journeying with you all and nourishing my corner as well.
Ahhh the corners, the only place I can find home. I have always considered myself a misfit. Autism had made much of what many take for granted in their faith walk difficult for me. Yet I keep chasing after Christ with my limp convinced that there is something about him. I used to hate being a misfit but then I started collecting other misfits and telling them even if they didn't have a place to be in the world they had a friend in me.
I grateful for you Nadia. Thanks for including me.
Thank you for this. I've been feeling like I'm in the cormer, back against the wall. Thank you for giving me some sense of peace about this
Nadia, isn't it interesting that the first places filled in a church sanctuary, are the back "corners." As I reflect on your words, I can't help asking a different question. The church goers who sit in the back corners, are often those who complain the loudest. Are these folks intentionally sitting where they can be seen, but just out of reach of the living water offered during worship? What are your thoughts?
Thank you for this opportunity to discern with you our call to serve God's people.
I sit on the very last pew in the balcony of my Southern relatively conservative church building. I sit here so I can dance, chant, shout, bow, or whatever comes to me in Spirit. I do this in the corner because the centers find it alarming and uncouth. Perhaps they are watered down and stuck in the quagmire. Perhaps the corners have ground for dancing. 💃🏼 🕺🏼
I have heard comment that people "self rank" themselves by where they choose to sit in church. The closer to the front the more religious...the back pews for those who don't feel quite so "worthy". Haven't experienced the back pews complaining the loudest.
For some of us, though, where we sit is determined by much more humdrum, practical reasons, like proximity to washrooms, or the nursery, where we can hear, or where we are least distractible, or simply where the seating is most accessible....
I haven't heard about "self rank" before, but I can see where that could be a thing. Thank you for the different perspective.
This is one of my favorite images; thank you for it. And hello to everyone, I hope that you know that you have a kindred spirit in me, and that today I'm praying for all of us to feel seen and known by God.
I really love this image / thought. As a wallflower who's spent a long time in the corner.
I love this. :) thank you!!