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Ellen Minier's avatar

Thank you. I am deeply grateful for this. Last weekend I combatted my anxiety by volunteering to give COVID shots. After a day of feeling joyous and like I was making a difference I suddenly felt anxious, with thoughts like "holy shit I am helping us move to YET another new normal that is completely unknown!!" Appreciating today the reminder to be gentle with myself and others as we continue to adapt and grow.

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Kelley's avatar

My prayers. God. I wish i had my childhood faith. I wish i could wholeheartedly believe that you are more than just a psychological projection dreamt up by my mind to deal with trauma and unresolved issues. That maybe it is culture and trauma that cause humans to define and limit a real all knowing, all powerful, eternal being into a projection we create to work out our own stuff. Or maybe you aren’t really there at all.

But I want to believe that my life is more than just an accident. I want to believe there is someone who loves me instead of judges. So in my lowest doubt- I pray.

I pray to be connected to the maker of the universe. I pray for forgiveness- for all the ways i was not enough for my mom with dementia and my God-daughter with psychosis. I pray forgiveness for all the times fear overpowered love. I pray for my healing of my own brokenness from PTSD. I pray the new therapist will have skills to help me with the latest flareup. I pray the tears and fear will be replaced with peace and contentment. Or dare i hope joy and love?

I pray for help with my rage and anger when people preach hatred and fear in your name. I pray for the deliverance of millions who have been deceived by ‘christian’-con-artists using cult tactics and mind control on their followers. For according to 2 timothy the deceivers are also deceived.

And God I thank you for all the friends I have. For new ones you added even during the pandemic. Help them to not grow weary in supporting me.

Oh how i miss in person church.

Blessing to everyone in the corners today. Amen

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