I swear this felt like you were preaching to me. I’ve always been “wearing emotional riot gear and giving off as much strength as possible”. Going to have to read this a few more times. So good.
Nadia, thank you! I’m writing my 4th step resentments and I am afraid that I’m going to discover bs about myself that I’m not aware of...
I’m wicked good at telling others all of my character defects BEFORE they can come up with them on their own. However, I’d be devastated if someone discovered one that I didn’t even know about!
This is exactly what I needed to hear:
“I guess what I am trying to say is that God knows the thing in your life that you are trying desperately to make up for – the thing you hope no one will see, - the word that if used to describe you, would feel the very worst and God loves even that part of you. I really think that’s true.”
Writing my fourth step really sucked because it made me admit almost all the things I hated about myself. It also revealed something I secretly loved about myself, which was my willingness to tell people exactly how horrible I was.
When I finished writing it, I met with my sponsor, and told him that it was 21 pages long. He said he would read it, but told me that by the time I got to my fifth step, I needed to cut it in half. That nobody was that bad, and that the point was to admit I had character defects, not make an encyclopedia to beat myself up with.
May God surround you as you take this courageous step. I’m going to sign off and say a prayer for you.
Wow! Jeff thanks!!! The image of the pointlessness of beating myself up with an encyclopedia size book of my faults is going to stick with me. I appreciate you taking the time to respond. You helped me...like perfect example of 3rd Step prayer help!!!! Thank you for your service.
Nadia, are you an 8? (Enneagram talk here!)... cause the 7/8 in me sure felt everything you were saying. Lol
I will never forget the thought process, of when I got married and had the choice to keep, or change my name. I ditched my maiden name so fast, just to get a clean start with a new name. I’ve pondered this with Peter before, as well as with, “Saul,”/ “Paul... there is something deep about the change... and yet, there’s those moments with family and old friends that remind me anyways, that who I was, made who I am, more than the name change did. Something about these encounters with Jesus that can’t be denied.
I really liked this sermon. The idea of changing one's name is poignant to me especially when it comes to thinking about our trans siblings in Christ. As much as we might dislike our given names (for good reason, sometimes) they still play a part in our stories. When we change our name, either through marriage, to align better with our self-image, to better suit who we are called to be, whatever the reason, ... Our past is still our past, but we are called forth by God to live in a certain light and do God's work on earth. You are, and yet you are to be.
Two things really touched me. The words “emotional right gear“ made me cry. It has protected me but it has not healed me. The other thing that hasn’t healed me is the word “when”. When I heal my past. When I achieve certain things, or become certain things, then I’ll be acceptable and God and other people can love me. The problem being that when is never now.
The other thing that really touched me what’s the concept of being both who I was and who I will be. I read this sermon hours ago (around 8:00 PM) and I just woke up out of a sound sleep at 1:30 AM with this thought. The Jeff that I was. The Jeff that I am. The Jeff that I will be. World without end. Amen.
Matthew 22: 36-40. (paraphrasing here) The greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. And the second is like the first: love your neighbor as yourself. Not some of our neighbors...all of them.
As a young gay man I wasted a huge amount of energy trying to force people to accept me. The lesson I have learned is that what I really need is for people to love me. Whether they accept me or not.
I used to want to fight this point. To make someone’s belief that homosexuality is wrong a bad thing, so that I could feel right. Today if someone tells me that they think homosexuality is wrong I offer the point of view that it’s between God and them. And, that they can believe it is wrong for them to be gay. But that they don’t get to believe that it is wrong for me. My belief is that God loves me just as I am and that I too have to love my neighbor. Even if we believe different things.
For me, as well, being considered needy is worse than being considered stupid, but still, I hope this question does not make me seem too stupid: Do we really need the bible to support homosexuality?
Reading my own comment again now, I realise that it may come off as a condemnation of gay sex. My point is the opposite; here is a quote from the NYT link: "there is good evidence that an earlier version of the laws in Leviticus 18 permitted sex between men". Well, at least it seems that sex between men is not condemned, and that should be more than enough, shouldn't it?
In 2014, I heard you interviewed by Krista Tippett at the Wild Goose Festival . I've listened to that interview at least 30 times since then. Your thoughts and guidance have probably done more to kickstart my faith journey and pull me out of some dark times than anything or anyone. Just started my subscription and wish you such good journeys with this.
This is so true and such an insightful take on Peter. It is interesting to realize that it takes most of us so much of our lives to know who we are and befriend the parts of ourselves we're not proud of or comfortable with. We think we have to earn God's love, which is always a constant.
I have been preaching for 20 years and never has it occurred to me that this passage can be about being known by God. I am so grateful for your witness and your wisdom. My divorce was final on August 30 last year after being married for 25 years. I went back to my maiden name and it has been very healing. I will need to reflect more on the "who I was and who I will be." Again, thank you!!
This is so timely for me! I was just thinking about repurposing as I was driving home from work today. I went to see a play in Austin (Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed-highly recommend) and the Theater was in an old mall that had been repurposed into a junior college!!! So brilliant, right? Anyway, I also thought about how God is repurposing me too! I’ve been in recovery for over 5 years and I’ve had a sense for many of those years that there has been a progression. After I recovered, I began a journey of rediscovery, resurrection and now repurpose!!! (Not always in that specific order☺️). Also, (coincidentally 😉) I recently legally changed my name, giving back all of the “last names” that were given to me by others, to the one I was born with. Thank you Nadia for this beautiful sermon! I would like to share it with the women I sponsor and in the treatment centers where I get to share:)
This really hit home for me at a time in my life when I need it to. An old pastor of mine once said, God will always find a way to get to you. Thank you for being that light I need right now.
Nadia, I am not sure what we'd do without you. Thank you for your light. Thank you for your courage. Thank you for leading us closer to the divine.
I swear this felt like you were preaching to me. I’ve always been “wearing emotional riot gear and giving off as much strength as possible”. Going to have to read this a few more times. So good.
What an amazing message. Thank you. I really needed this.
Nadia, thank you! I’m writing my 4th step resentments and I am afraid that I’m going to discover bs about myself that I’m not aware of...
I’m wicked good at telling others all of my character defects BEFORE they can come up with them on their own. However, I’d be devastated if someone discovered one that I didn’t even know about!
This is exactly what I needed to hear:
“I guess what I am trying to say is that God knows the thing in your life that you are trying desperately to make up for – the thing you hope no one will see, - the word that if used to describe you, would feel the very worst and God loves even that part of you. I really think that’s true.”
Thank you!
Writing my fourth step really sucked because it made me admit almost all the things I hated about myself. It also revealed something I secretly loved about myself, which was my willingness to tell people exactly how horrible I was.
When I finished writing it, I met with my sponsor, and told him that it was 21 pages long. He said he would read it, but told me that by the time I got to my fifth step, I needed to cut it in half. That nobody was that bad, and that the point was to admit I had character defects, not make an encyclopedia to beat myself up with.
May God surround you as you take this courageous step. I’m going to sign off and say a prayer for you.
Wow! Jeff thanks!!! The image of the pointlessness of beating myself up with an encyclopedia size book of my faults is going to stick with me. I appreciate you taking the time to respond. You helped me...like perfect example of 3rd Step prayer help!!!! Thank you for your service.
Thanks for sharing this with us!
Nadia, are you an 8? (Enneagram talk here!)... cause the 7/8 in me sure felt everything you were saying. Lol
I will never forget the thought process, of when I got married and had the choice to keep, or change my name. I ditched my maiden name so fast, just to get a clean start with a new name. I’ve pondered this with Peter before, as well as with, “Saul,”/ “Paul... there is something deep about the change... and yet, there’s those moments with family and old friends that remind me anyways, that who I was, made who I am, more than the name change did. Something about these encounters with Jesus that can’t be denied.
I really liked this sermon. The idea of changing one's name is poignant to me especially when it comes to thinking about our trans siblings in Christ. As much as we might dislike our given names (for good reason, sometimes) they still play a part in our stories. When we change our name, either through marriage, to align better with our self-image, to better suit who we are called to be, whatever the reason, ... Our past is still our past, but we are called forth by God to live in a certain light and do God's work on earth. You are, and yet you are to be.
Two things really touched me. The words “emotional right gear“ made me cry. It has protected me but it has not healed me. The other thing that hasn’t healed me is the word “when”. When I heal my past. When I achieve certain things, or become certain things, then I’ll be acceptable and God and other people can love me. The problem being that when is never now.
The other thing that really touched me what’s the concept of being both who I was and who I will be. I read this sermon hours ago (around 8:00 PM) and I just woke up out of a sound sleep at 1:30 AM with this thought. The Jeff that I was. The Jeff that I am. The Jeff that I will be. World without end. Amen.
Wondering if someone could please comment on my question. How can we biblically support homosexuality? Thank you!
Matthew 22: 36-40. (paraphrasing here) The greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. And the second is like the first: love your neighbor as yourself. Not some of our neighbors...all of them.
As a young gay man I wasted a huge amount of energy trying to force people to accept me. The lesson I have learned is that what I really need is for people to love me. Whether they accept me or not.
I used to want to fight this point. To make someone’s belief that homosexuality is wrong a bad thing, so that I could feel right. Today if someone tells me that they think homosexuality is wrong I offer the point of view that it’s between God and them. And, that they can believe it is wrong for them to be gay. But that they don’t get to believe that it is wrong for me. My belief is that God loves me just as I am and that I too have to love my neighbor. Even if we believe different things.
I very much agree with you. I don’t have to accept or agree with someone’s life style. I’m called to love them.
For me, as well, being considered needy is worse than being considered stupid, but still, I hope this question does not make me seem too stupid: Do we really need the bible to support homosexuality?
Your question made me think of an opinion piece I read in the NY Times quite a while ago, which I have wished that I cut out and kept. – And behold: I now just found it in one of the wonderful corners of the internet: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/21/opinion/sunday/bible-prohibit-gay-sex.html
Interesting read. I’ll definitely be thinking on it. Thanks!
There is a book by David P Gushee called "Changing our mind" that is worth reading for a view that comes from a theologian.
Reading my own comment again now, I realise that it may come off as a condemnation of gay sex. My point is the opposite; here is a quote from the NYT link: "there is good evidence that an earlier version of the laws in Leviticus 18 permitted sex between men". Well, at least it seems that sex between men is not condemned, and that should be more than enough, shouldn't it?
The Reformation Project has some useful resources. You are welcome :)
In 2014, I heard you interviewed by Krista Tippett at the Wild Goose Festival . I've listened to that interview at least 30 times since then. Your thoughts and guidance have probably done more to kickstart my faith journey and pull me out of some dark times than anything or anyone. Just started my subscription and wish you such good journeys with this.
This is so true and such an insightful take on Peter. It is interesting to realize that it takes most of us so much of our lives to know who we are and befriend the parts of ourselves we're not proud of or comfortable with. We think we have to earn God's love, which is always a constant.
Thank you so much for this. Exactly what I needed to hear today.
Beautiful....the vivid imagery of going through your life "wearing emotional riot gear and giving off as much strength as possible" is so relatable!
I have been preaching for 20 years and never has it occurred to me that this passage can be about being known by God. I am so grateful for your witness and your wisdom. My divorce was final on August 30 last year after being married for 25 years. I went back to my maiden name and it has been very healing. I will need to reflect more on the "who I was and who I will be." Again, thank you!!
This is so timely for me! I was just thinking about repurposing as I was driving home from work today. I went to see a play in Austin (Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed-highly recommend) and the Theater was in an old mall that had been repurposed into a junior college!!! So brilliant, right? Anyway, I also thought about how God is repurposing me too! I’ve been in recovery for over 5 years and I’ve had a sense for many of those years that there has been a progression. After I recovered, I began a journey of rediscovery, resurrection and now repurpose!!! (Not always in that specific order☺️). Also, (coincidentally 😉) I recently legally changed my name, giving back all of the “last names” that were given to me by others, to the one I was born with. Thank you Nadia for this beautiful sermon! I would like to share it with the women I sponsor and in the treatment centers where I get to share:)
🙏🏻💗☺️
This really hit home for me at a time in my life when I need it to. An old pastor of mine once said, God will always find a way to get to you. Thank you for being that light I need right now.
Bless and amen....