70 Comments
Oct 17, 2022Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

Separate and distinct from my religious upbringing, this applies equally well to my feelings about my dysfunctional family of origin. With the hindsight of my 72 years, I can admit there was a lot of good with the bad, that life has plenty of both, and that no one gets out unscarred.

Expand full comment
Oct 17, 2022Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

You put into words what I have felt for a long time but hadn’t been able to articulate. I was raised Mormon, left the church at 18. I have felt guilty about missing the sense of community, the connections, the sense of being a part of something. But yet I strongly disagree (and even hate) so much of the church’s doctrine. Thank you for showing me that I can love and be grateful for the good parts while rejecting and condemning the bad. And I probably could use more humility in general.

Expand full comment
Oct 17, 2022Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

I needed to hear this today! I've been struggling with my super right-wing fundamentalist brother's recent Facebook posts about what he thinks is wrong with the Church today. Thank you for the reminder that being a self-righteous know-it-all in response to his being a self-righteous know-it-all will not solve anything.

Expand full comment

“Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts.

“It means the freedom from thinking about yourself one way or the other at all.”

― Archbishop William Temple

Expand full comment
Oct 17, 2022Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

I think this is one of the hardest things we can do as people, to not merely pivot from one viewpoint to another, but to change the focus and intensity of our inner rage and anger. It's such a difficult challenge.

Expand full comment

Thank you for this. I'm coming to discover that the my need for absolution can more often than not - be rectified by practicing astonishment, and delighting in unknowing. More and more - I'm coming to understand what Rilke meant when he wrote: "Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

Expand full comment
Oct 17, 2022Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

Thanks for this. And it isn't even necessary to leave a fundamentalist church to have this issue. I was episcopalian.

Expand full comment

I love it”the opposite of fundamentalism is humility”-that so describes the journey to become a follower of Christ and not be a jerk. Love attracts people-self righteousness dressed up in any style is still repulsive

Expand full comment

-- Not from a fundy background, but struggling always with prizing "being right." Hate to think of how much learning I've missed because I wasn't curious about what others had to offer. (79 and still learning!)

Expand full comment
Oct 17, 2022Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

Read this while listening to "Sade Mix."

Presbyterian church I'm a member of is doing an adult bible study of Amy-Jill Levine's "Short Stories by Jesus."

I'm leading the 2nd week of the study on "The Good Samaritan." She challenges us with her insight and understanding of parables and Jesus. Any suggestions are welcome.

Thanks for challenging us to hold our convictions, constantly reflect on them with the help of input from experts and fellow humans, then share them in a way that calls people in, not out:)

Expand full comment

You nailed it, Nadia! Humility is the soil that grows love. The need to be right is born out of fear and its children hatred, prejudice, and bigotry. I think this inner conflict to shed our false self and its ego centrism is what fuels much of the bonfires of vitriol and hate in our society, not actual issues or our particular stance on them.

Expand full comment

"Maybe the opposite of fundamentalism is . . . humility." I love the way that "maybe" coupled in short order with the ellipsis turns this into a hesitant and, yes, *humble* statement of principles. Well done.

Conversations about humility get me all squirmy-uncomfortable, because it always feels like I'm treading a line. Is it okay to, like, be proud of one's humility? Where's the point where I've gone too far? You seem to wear your own humility like a comfy, loose-fitting, soft cotton shirt that you'd never dream of ironing because, well, why *would* you iron it? A class act whose level I aspire to, but I always seem to stumble as I cross the threshold. Maybe I should stop watching my own feet so damned much and just, like, walk in the general direction. 😉

Expand full comment

I grew up in piney woods Bible Belt south Mississippi. The icons of 70s evangelical fundamentalism were the heroes down here. My naive little self was groomed by the movement for world dominion with our little circuit riding gospel message of “turn or burn” salvation. Yea, that tribe. SO glad I discovered this safe place Nadia. SO grateful for your voice and for your influence. As a recovering fundamentalist myself, I also experience the need to be “right”, rather than to simply Be. Learning to listen more, and smack talk .. less. Blessings!

Expand full comment
Oct 18, 2022Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

I am a grandmother of 10, still in a Church of Christ, with zero tattoos...but considering where on my body I should get, “I guess when I was able to look back on that upbringing and admit that there were some really beautiful parts to it and saying that didn’t feel like a betrayal of the parts of me that were wounded by the shitty stuff. That’s when I was free.”

Seems kind of long so I suppose I'll just HAVE TO REMEMBER IT. :)

Thanks, as always, Nadia.

Expand full comment
Oct 18, 2022Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

Thanks for this Nadia. I needed to read this today. I had a similar experience in my youth:leaving behind a close knit parish life as a reaction to its “conservativeness” and pouring the same vitriol into the cause of social justice, fight against poverty. It took me many years to see that I was seeing everything as right or wrong, black and white. And my little sister said exactly the same about me. Thank you thank you, there is nothing like being able to find the words you were looking for…

Expand full comment
Oct 17, 2022Liked by Nadia Bolz-Weber

I love this. Thank you.

I associate it in my own life, though it's a bit different, with a long and demanding inner city call earlier in my ministry that was way too costly for my family -- the costliness and the emotional payback I was receiving for what I was giving -- that I'm grateful to have left behind. But I've never again found such a completely integrated life as we had then. (But I even feel guilty saying that when the cost was so great to others I love.)

Expand full comment